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| Sunday, 20 October 2002 |
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So the Forest Cricket Carnival kicked off just as the last bright summer morning dawned in October. Titania is a stickler for tradition and raised some objections that cricket should not be played after the season ends officially on August 31, when Bottom sits at the foot of a tree and sings 'The Last Rose of Summer'with tears streaming down his cheeks as he remembers Princess Margaret whom he loved. The connection between Her Majesty the Queen's late sister and summer is her second name Rose which was struck off her birth certificate several years ago and formally announced by Buck House. Bot really never got over that. He loved calling her Margaret Rose. But when it was pointed out to him after much explaining that she herself must have associated it with the last rose of summer-her birthday falling on August 21, the very day that summer officially ends,he accepted it but announced that he reserved the right to sing the plaintive song as and when he pleased. The right was granted by Royal patent...so, as can be imagined, the song rang through the glades and forested areas of our homestead quite often. Tit and I had to lead our team out onto the field to meet the Chief Guest who was the Lord High Chamberlain of Xenaphon who we had never heard of before. But he was a friend of Robin O' the Hood and had expressed a desire to meet the other forest people by which he meant us and the rest. 'Who's this Xenaphon person?' That was unmistakably Bottom. 'Never heard of him in my life. Lord Chamberlain of Xenaphon! Well I never!.'And he went off to doze the afternoon away. We managed to make up two teams-ours and Robin O' the Hood's.They say they are very good,Robin having played for Nottingham-naturally-at Trentbridge at that, when they were just digging it up before laying the whole thing down again to host the best international teams which included St.Augustine's XI, the Fish and Chips from Essex, Bonnie Prince Charli's XI which had to come over the sea from Skye,Bolingbroke and the Monks of Wessex,the East Anglia X1 fresh from the Crusades in Jerusalem, with wickets made from the best willow -their bats were of an unknown wood- and the Royal Robin Hood's X1 which had been carrying off almost all the trophies in the year just past. The umpires, of course, had to be specially selected so that there would not be any differences of opinion and, of course they would be impartial. So top of the list was Steve Bucknor the buccaneering West Indian who had no interest in us Anglo-Saxons,Hector and Patroclus from Troy who always went in tandem everywhere, Samson of Delilah fame-with his hair on. The only 21st century man would then be Steve Bucknor, someone pointed out,querying whether cricket rules would allow such a thing. 'Of course there will be such a thing,' said Titania. She had seen the elegant umpire on TV at a friend's at a Sloane Street tea with a princess pal of hers and absolutely insisted that he be put on the Board of Umpires. Tit had developed a crush on the chocolate-coloured umpire and nothing would move her from having him in the forest. 'We are also inviting the Indian boy Sachin Tendulkar because we like him so much and in fact after the tournament might not send him back to India but keep him here to be one of us.' That was Tit. She liked to shoot her mouth at things like this and was crazy over Sachin so there was nothing anyone could do about it. Quince get busy at once sending invitations out to the selected few who would grace the forest with their presence. 'Are we also going to invite Discovery Channel people to cover the tournament?' asked Quince. 'That will involve tight security because our guests would not be safe, so will then have to ask Scotland Yard to take up their places here.'That was Snout, to which came an exceedingly droll retort from our Bot; 'In that case,invite the United States Seaborne Squadrons to come in from the Arabian Sea and monitor the whole thing before the LBW decisions create such a ruckus that Bush will order them to attack us, using his weapons of mass destruction that he has been hiding under his pet dog's tail for some time.' 'We don't want an international situation to arise because of all these things. Bush doesn't know who Robin O' the Hood is and Robin will think that Bush is a Barbarian from the hordes of Attila! Just imagine what chaos that would create, for starters. And if we invite the Carthaginanians Bush might think they are the Iraqis and attack them.' 'I know what!' That was Puck.'Let's ask Yasser Arafat!They say he can bowl any type of ball, having practised in the desert sands. Bush will be so afraid that he will get on Air Force 1 and go back as fast as he can to ...to...what's that place/ Drat! I can never remember these strange American names! 'And there's Fidel Castro! We cant leave him out.' 'Trouble is, he might turn it into a baseball game!'That was Quince. Everyone laughed out loud and as the evening was setting in,cocktails were on the way. 'To us!'said Bottom, raising his John Collins. 'To all of us!' returned Oberon,raising his Moet and Chandon. - Oberon |
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