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| Sunday, 24 November 2002 |
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Consternation in the forest. Everyone is in a frenzy. Bottom was rushing about which is not very usual. Then Quince came up with a scroll in his hand which he was going to present to me before nailing it on a tree as we did in the Middle Ages and indeed, even now because time moves only when we want it to. 'Who is this straw man?'asked Bottom in a rage. 'What straw man?' asked someone whose voice I could not recognise. "He has insulted us as well as the House of Windsor of our beloved queen, the High and Mighty Elizabeth,' said Bottom in a tone of voice that was alarming. 'To Robin we will go! Let's go away to Robin's place and he'll make short work of it!' said Quince who was bringing the scroll up to the highest branch of the tree where I was relaxing. The scroll read: 'I, the Strawman state here and now in the year 2002 in our over thousand=year-old history, that our imperial past is responsible for all the problems of the present.' 'How dare he! Who is this Strawman that he thinks he can insult our ancient kings and queens?' asked an infuriated Bottom. 'Let's to the street! Let's to the street!' chorused Starveling and the Blithe Spirits of the Night who had just got up and were having their bed-honey and mead. 'We have to protest, publicly.' 'But first to Robin to ask for help and some extra horses for the 'demo', said Quince. 'Please let me go to Robin's place to ask him,' pleaded Puck from his cowslip. 'Okay,Puck. You go off to Robin's place and tell him everything,' said Quince. 'Quince, how did you get this Strawman's scroll?'asked Bottom. 'Well, I was out riding on the edge of our part of the forest when some sort of a herald came up and handed me the wretched thing,' replied Quince,adding: 'He probably thought I was also a herald because of what I was wearing.' 'What were you wearing,Quince?'asked Bot. 'Well, I was in a buckskin T shirt sort of thing with Oberon's crest on it.' 'So why did you accept it? asked Bottom 'Because I was curious. I have to be in my job,' replied Quince. Meanwhile, Puck was riding through the forest at top speed to Robin O'the Hood's hideout to ask for assistance to put down the offensive missal while I called an emergency meeting of the forest folk to discuss the contents of the scroll and decide what action was to be taken. The Press was also invited to the confab. 'Who is this Strawman?' asked Titania who had heard the commotion in the forest and had been briefed by her secretary. 'Well, Your Maj, he is some sort of a-well-government agent who is anti royal,' said the secretary. Tit was aghast. 'We have to do something about it - about him -and do it fast. We cannot allow our great House of Windsor to be insulted in that fashion or in any other fashion for that matter, 'Tit said. 'What exactly has he said?' she asked. 'Well, queen Titania, he has made bold as to say that our imperial past is responsible for today's problems.' 'WHAT? Oberon, have you heard this?' Tit asked shouting out to me. 'Yes, yes. I've got the whole thing here.' 'What whole thing?' she asked. 'The scroll on which his allegations have been written.' 'Then does he mean-I mean this Straw person-that our Richard the Lion Heart's Crusade in the Holy Land was a bad thing? That Henry's breakaway from the church of Rome was a bad thing? That Elizabeth's reign was a bad thing? That our glorious empire was a bad thing? In the process he is also casting aspersions on our great House of Windsor, and thereby even on us.' Tit had some training in the Law and loved to make dramatic pronouncements like that. But she was quite right, of course. 'Cant we do something about it?' she asked. 'Well, Puck has gone off to Robin's place to ask for help.' 'What help?' Tit asked. 'Help to oppose this straw person.' 'Do you remember years ago there was a Hollywood film in which Judy Garland starred and there were a Tin Man and a Straw Man?" she asked, adding: 'There was a hit song from that movie called 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' which Judy Garland sang,' Tit said. She has a good ear for music and never misses anything good. She can also stray from the point, like now. 'Yes, but this is most certainly not somewhere over the rainbow. This is serious business which we have to take by the scruff of the neck, and that's why Puck has gone off to Robin's place.' The sound of horses' hooves galloping through the forest was heard. It was Puck. He had changed horses and was riding one of Robin's best racers, announcing as he approached home: 'H'es coming! Robin is coming! He and his Merry Men will be here within the hour. He says it is also an insult to his own family since he is of royal descent. He has even offered to go to London town and take the strawman to task for insulting our monarchy. Off to the Tower! Off to the Tower! Off with his head!' Oberon |
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