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| Sunday, 11 May 2003 |
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by Umangi de Mel You feeling shy? Does a huge audience make you strut and fret? Do you get tongue tied or does your head start spinning if somebody's around? and are you a shy guy? (or a girl?) Want to shake that shyness away? No we don't offer a lotion but read on. "Social phobia is excessive shyness, it is a persistent fear of social situations," says Ranil Abeysinghe, Consultant Psychiatrist, University of Peradeniya. Commonly seen in both genders, social phobia speaks a lot about a person's upbringing. A smaller percentage inherit it while majority of these children become `shy' because of the ways they have been brought up. "If a child is not exposed to the society, his confidence will fail him as a teenager or an adult to come out and speak their mind," he says. According to our shrink, lack of exposure make him less confident. It all lies in the hands of adults to encourage their child to speak up and build his faith. "If you seek compliance from children all the time, they are more likely to grow up with such phobias," he points out. Symptoms * Reluctant to attend social gatherings "They dread they would end up looking real fools," he says adding that these kids don't even do sports activities as they feel washed out. Symptoms become stronger during stressful periods of life. Dr.Abeysinghe says that for some, symptoms may occur at times when they are eating with other people, writing in the presence of others or using public toilets. "Social phobia is very common among teens. They develop the ailment in their early teen years. Many overcome their shyness in their 20s," he says but adds that symptoms could be continuous and lifelong for most people while some grow out of it in adult life. Some report having the symptoms since childhood. The symptoms may develop gradually or they may pop out suddenly after a traumatic experience. Both parents and school teachers are held responsible for teen social phobia. "Teachers too, contribute a lot as they rarely encourage assertive behaviour in their students," he says. The problem of shyness arises when adults tend to keep their children away from social exposure, what they think is not-that-good for kids. "Many learn to cope with the problem by avoiding social situations, gatherings and public speaking but they don't really overcome the problem," he says. Dr. Abeysinghe says, that it's a natural phase people go through as teenagers. "At the age of 13/14 they tend to become shy which is quite normal. But it's important to help them get over it." He says that people who have social phobia, often become very anxious and they are full of panicky thoughts. It's always the presence of other people that distresses them. Speaking of western cultures, he says that those teenagers are well exposed to various activities like camping and school clubs which help them to meet people. 'Behaviour therapy' is a popular method we follow to treat those who are excessively shy. The patients are gradually and repeatedly exposed to social situations over a period of time. If done in a systematic way, it could be very helpful to patients," he reveals. 'Assertive training' is another method which trains them to be more assertive. "There is medication to overcome extreme anxiety," he says. Let's not shy away teens! |
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