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| Sunday, 28 September 2003 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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October 1 is World Elders' Day : Is there love for the elderly today? by Lakmal Welabada When we think about an elders' home, we tend to picture a place with old people in gloomy moods inactively living in their own dreamy worlds, muttering to themselves, cursing their children and relatives for not caring for them or whiling away the time boasting about their good old days in the past. That kind of negative view is not the case at the Sahana Udaya Vivekashram Elders' Home at Atthidiya, Dehiwala. The 16 mothers and the 16 fathers who live under the shelter of the Sahanoda Foundation which runs the Home, spend their last days happily and peacefully. Every inch of this place is permeated with serenity of the Buddhist doctrine. The sweet smell of the araliya, jasmine and lotus flowers mingles with the smell of joss sticks, cleanses the air refreshing the soul and the senses of who ever enters this place. They wake up at 5.30 in the morning while listening to the 'Dhamma Chintha' broadcasts daily on the radio. After having 'Kola Kenda' (herbal drink) the thirty two elders attend the 'Buddha Pooja' (offering breakfast for Triple Gem - Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha). The evenings are spent with spiritual discussions on the teaching of the Buddhism and meditation on 'Marana-Smruthi' (memorising the unpreventable fact of death which every being has to face one day) which helps them to reduce craving towards the changing world and prepare for their last breath with a tranquil mind. A Japanese volunteer of the JAICA who is on a visit arranged by the Social Services Department conducts one hour session of slow-motion exercises to help the elders to feel healthy and active. They end their daily routine after visiting the adjoining temple and attending to the 'Gilanpasa Buddha Pooja' (evening session of offering food in liquid form to the Triple Gem) which follows their dinner at 9.00 pm and the 'Maha Pirith Deshana' (chanting the three main sutras). They go to bed at 10.30 pm. Observing sil is a compulsory practice in the home. Sundays are kept for entertainment. Artistes from various fields come there to have 'Paduru' (mat) parties with the elders. Also Sunday is the day when relatives pay a visit. "Getting adjusted to this routine was not easy for most of them at first. But within a period of two months all of them adopted it with enthusiasm," says Ven. Haputale Pannarama Thera, President/Director of the Sahanoda Foundation. "The time table does not permit a second for the inmates to sink in dreamy worlds thinking of their pasts, their own miseries and living with feelings of hatred towards their families," he added. Pannarama Thera is a social worker. He founded the Sahanoda Foundation in 1994. With his experience and contacts made while working for the border villages during the N-E war and the massive rehabilitation work he did for young drug addicts, had sharpened his vision and courage to work towards a target. He found the two and half acre land which was given to the Government Treasury by the well-wisher late D.S. Kahavita with an intention of building an elders' home at Atthidiya. The 'Mul Gala' (foundation stone) was laid on January 21 in 2000. With the help of the well-wishers including donor Bandula Weerawardhana (who donated about 80 lakhs), the Vivekashram was constructed and 32 elders selected through a newspaper ad were provided shelter from May 2, 2002 as the first step of the project. "Our aim is to provide room for 128 elders. We have spent about rs 10 million already. I hope we will get more proceeds to continue the rest of the constructional work," said the Thera. Maintaining the place is a struggle as still there's no special fund raising for this home.The home gets about 60 meal donations out of the 90 required for the month. The rest have to be supplied by the home. Everything is done with the small donations given by the well wishers. The uniqueness of the main donors of this place is that most of them are persons from the three forces and the police. The dry rations for the home are mainly provided by them. The others who wish to give 'Danas' (alms giving) to the home are asked to donate the allocated cost of each meal since everything is cooked in the home premises for reasons of hygiene. No down payment is required to enter this home. Everything is free of charge. Caste or creed is immaterial. Being isolated or abandoned is the only condition. With the help of well-wishers, the Thera hopes to get hot water geysers for all the 16 rooms. "Most of the fathers and mothers living here are not from cosy backgrounds. Because of that I want to let them have the best in everything even at the end of their lives," he said. Most of the inmates call Pannarama Thera 'Ape Budu Putha' (our son of the Buddha) with lot of regard and gratitude. He is their saviour, their father and their son. All of them live as one family. The troubles which generally an aged person appears to create in a home front are not visible under this shelter. The discipline Pannarama Thera has imposed on them has changed them, giving them a serene mind and a spiritual life. Some inmates have had problems with their children and children-in-law. "Most of them had either given their property without the life interest or divided the wealth unequally among their own children. Both reasons led to problems between the parents and the children. The ultimate result would have been the parents to leave their homes and find a new place to spend their last days. But except for a few, most of these mothers and fathers do not utter a word against their children. They haven't even revealed the identity of their children in order to protect them from disgrace," said Pannarama Thera. Leelaratne (62) is a father of two daughters and a son. Though living abroad for many years did not make any change in him, he could not bear the behaviour of his village born wife who started wearing denim jeans and tight clothes with heavy make-up at the age of 59. The hilarious comments made by the relatives and neighbours over this issue were unbearable to this sober father. He tried to advise his wife. Hence he did not see any good response he decided to leave the family. The 86-year-old Wijesiri was a gem merchant in Matara. After his wife's death he decided to move from his place. He said he did not have any other choice to get rid of the depression he went through due to the uncaring treatment he received from his only daughter and the son-in-law over the business matters. "I have no words to express the tranquil happiness I'm enjoying today under this shelter," he said with a smile. Gunawathie worked as an attendant at a private hospital at Kollupitiya for about 45 years. Soon after she became a widow, Gunawathie lost her 29-year-old son as well at a sea bath. She could not give her daughter in marriage as she has been suffering with a slight mental disorder. "I was worried a lot about my daughter as no one was there to look after her once I died. Today both of us are living peacefully here. I have no worries now as I know our 'Budu Putha' will look after us until our last breath," she says in tears. Many of the inmates there, are bachelors and spinsters. A few of the women have spent their entire lives as domestic servants in big bungalows. Sahana Udaya Vivekashram is an elders' home with a difference. The few hours we spent there taught us many lessons. The most important thing I gathered is the significance of planning one's old age carefully, usefully and peacefully. I conclude this narrative with an important, yet familiar question. Is the neglect or desertion of one's own aged parents not considered a sin in this society? |
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