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| Sunday, 12 October 2003 |
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Dowry, lavishness at weddings HARAM (Forbidden) in Islam by Ayesha Yusuf Un-Islamic innovations have crept into the Islamic Society, spreading in the body as maggots, which will ultimately lead to total destruction. In this article, the evils of the dowry system and lavishness at weddings are being highlighted to focus the attention of the members of the Muslim Ummah and create awareness against it. Dowry The contemptuous, degrading, abominable demand by boys' parents for dowry has crept into Muslim Society. The Qur'aan says to give 'Mahr' to the women, but does not say take dowry. What answer will those who demand dowry, and also get it, give Allah on the Day of Judgment. For a man not to marry a Muslim girl who has all qualifications to be a good wife, only because her parents cannot give dowry, will become accountable to Allah. If a girl falls prey to bad ways [by remaining single (unmarried)] for her survival, just because she could not be got married because of her perents' inability to meet the bridegroom's or his family's dowry demand, Allah may hold them responsible for her sins. The possibility of having to face such a situation in the Court of Allah is there. Do not forget, we have fallen into this dowry system because we don't read the Qur'aan and only pay lip service to the teachings of the Prophet (Sal). Let us see what the Holy Quar'aan says: "O ye who believe! Eat not up your property among yourselves in vanities: But let there be amongst you traffic and tradeby mutual goodwill: Nor kill (destroy) yourselves: for verily Allah hath been to you Most Merciful! If any do that in rancour and injustice, soon shall We cast them into the Fire: and easy it is for Allaah." (Surah 4: Verse 29,30) "Allah doth command you to render back your trusts to those whom they are due; and when ye judge between man and man that ye judge with justice: Verily how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you, for Allaah is he who hearth and seeth all things. O ye who believe! Obey Allah, obey the Apostle, and those charged with authority among you. If ye differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Apostle. If ye do believe in Allah and the Last day: That is the best and most Suitable for final determination". (Surah 4: Verse 58,59) Please read the above verses carefully, over and over again and ponder over its meaning. Does not demand for dowry from helpless parents of daughters, fall within the definition "East not up your property among yourselves in vanities" To those who defy verse 29, see how verse 30 of Surah 4 thunders to such people. Again, does not demanding and taking dowry amount to taking advantage of someone's helplessness to benefit oneself. Getting something easily without working for it is totally forbidden in Islam. It is on this principle that interest and gambling is forbidden. Can we afford to incur the wrath of Allaah and still say we are Muslims? When the bridegroom who demands and gets dowry himself becomes the parent of girls, how would he like to be at the receiving end 20 years later when someone asks him for dowry to marry his daughters. These are questions to be carefully considered and not to be brushed aside. Remember the answers one has to give in the loneliness of his dark grave. The demand for dowry has no place in Sharee'at. In fact there is a Fatwa on this, "Dowry, in cash and kind, at the time of marriage, is positively unlawful (Haram) and giving dowry voluntarily is also unlawful (Haram)" - Judicial verdict (FATWA) of Moulana Mujahidul Islam Qasimi Qazi Sharee' at at Bihar and Orissa. From the above, it is clear that receiving dowry in cash or kind at the time of marriage is positively forbidden (Haram) and giving dowry willingly is also prohibited (Haram), because it is a bribe. Caution against the exploitation of others by the wealthy is given in 14 Suraha of the Holy Qua'aan. The Qur'aan says, look to piety in the boy and the girl and their families - not wealth and beauty. Therefore, to marry only for reasons of wealth and beauty is against a very strict and clear rule of Allaah in the Holy Qur'aan. Allah says he will be severe on those who defy Him. Weddings Every Muslim boy whose parents insist on dowry must protest to his parents against it. Remember, the Holy Qur'aan gives the authority to the children to protest to their parents (without being disrespectful to them) if their parents act in an un-Islamic manner. By doing so you will be pleasing Allah. You will please Allah more if dowry already received is returned back to the parents of the bride. Allah will reward you for this. The lavishness with which the weddings are celebrated, ignoring the severe warning in the Qur'aan against extravagance - how can we celebrate such a solemn thing as marriage by doing something that annoys Allah? Is it correct? Is it Islamic? Is this not being done for show and to create an impression? Remember the questions the Qur'aan asks in Surah Al-Takatur (Surah 102). What answer will a person, who flaunts wealth for the sake of flaunting, give to Allah? Remember, it the Qur'aan's warning. Caution against extravagance and wealth is given in 9 Surahs of the Holy Qur'aan. Why don't the Muslims hold marriage ceremonies (Nikkah) in a Masjid (place of worship), instead of a five star hotel? A Nikkah performed in a Masjid will be far more pleasing to Allaah than putting up a show in a five star hotel. Look at the Christian community. They have their marriage ceremonies in the Church. Even well to do Hindus have their wedding ceremonies in the Temple. Other communities are following what Allaah expects us to follow, but we consider it below our status to have the Nikkah ceremony in the Masjid. Is this not vanity? The ideal place, if we have a sense of Islamic spirit in us, is to have the Nikkah in campuses where there is a Masjid and where enough accommodation is also available for other arrangements. The money that is paid as rent for hotels etc. can be given to our own institutions. Our affluent Muslim brothers must give a lead in this matter. To try to impress someone other than Allah will amount to Shirk and that is the one thing Allah says in the Qur'aan, he will not forgive. It is high time that the affluent of our society set up an example in this regard instead of trying to create shallow impressions. Ask a question, "Would our Prophet (Sal) have attended a hotel wedding?" The other disgusting, abominable practice is taking video pictures and ladies' pictures being flashed on screens outside. Their pictures being flashed on screens outside betray the trust, with which ladies in Hijab remove their veils because they are in the ladies' wing. Is this Islamic? Would our Prophet (Sal) have approved of this? Our affluent is most guilty of this. Allah says that on the Day of Judgment each person will be given his/her record in his or her hand. Do you want your marriage video flaunting wealth and violating the rules of Hijab, also to be handed over to you as further proof of your disobedience, defiance, extravagance and vanity? A true Muslim must act within the framework of Islam. Every Muslim who is affluent, must think that the wealth in his possession is a trust belonging to Allah and therefore he has to be careful how he uses the wealth in his possession. Wake up, change this double standard behaviour. The Muslim society must create awareness against evils which have crept in their midst. Enough of this vanity. Remember Allah's warning that He will replace us if we do not behave. History has given us enough examples of this. This vanity is because we do not read the Qur'aan and take its advice. Allah has warned us in the Qur'aan against extravagance and displeasing the Preophet (Sal). Can we dare to ignore this warning and yet say we are Muslims? Late Dr. Radhakrishnan, former President of India, once remarked that as long as the Muslims followed the Prophet's (Sal) example of simple living and high thinking, they were masters of the world. But when they came to power, they forgot this example of the Prophet (Sal) and instead, adopted high living and simple thinking. This resulted in the slide down of Muslim glory and grandeur. The dowry system, ostentatious weddings, vain functions for self-praise, egoism etc. are manifestations of high living and simple thinking. Muslims must go back to simple living and high thinking if they want to regain their original grandeur and command respect. "Worldly wealth, power, progeny, affluence and influence may be but trials. Let not their possessors think that they are in themselves things that will necessarily bring them happiness?" (Surah 23: Verse 55,56) "Give the kinsman his due, and the needy, and the wayfarer and squander not (thy wealth) in wantonness." (Surah 17: Verse 26) |
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