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| Sunday, 16 May 2004 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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A face-lift for the UNP's image Light Refractions by Lucien Rajakarunanayake Among the urgent needs identified by some of its members to revive the political fortunes of the UNP, the first is that of the party needing a face-lift. This is an admission that the party looks so haggard with wrinkles and a sagging skin on its face that it is badly in need of this particular cosmetic surgery done to remove wrinkles and improve appearance. On the one hand this is yet another example of the UNP's attention to the need for cosmetic changes in its appearance to woo the voters, without realizing that the problems the party faces are certainly more than skin deep, and involves more than only the face of the party. On the other, giving a better appearance to the UNP is not something that can be done by any cosmetic surgeon. The haggard and defeated look the party now has, which is bothering so many of its members, will need a whole team of the best cosmetic surgeons drawn from all over the world, to ensure even the minimum possibility of success. In any event, if the UNP is looking at this cosmetic approach to solve its image problems, until the proposed face-lift surgery is done, it had better begin with using the proper facial creams to hide its political scars and severe acne that marred its face; cleansing lotions to help remove all the dirt of two years of corrupt rule; face packs and mud packs for the hard task of removing layers of political chicanery, contempt for public opinion and disregard for public needs. These are some of the standard methods used by today's beauticians, in their daily, relentless and often hopeless efforts to give attraction to those who lack it. These beauticians are in business mainly because these methods don't last too long in improving the looks of those they serve. Leadership positions "But how can anyone give a face-lift to a whole party. It will need conveyor belt cosmetic surgery to improve looks of all those who hold leadership positions in the party as to make them appear people friendly, and of all those and others who taking a cue from the leaders kept piling up an anti-people image for the party," said Hatharavarang Vilasitha, a well known beautician, who is a favourite of most wives of the UNP's and other leading politicians. "The problem is to find out whether what these people want to do is give a face-lift to the party through its leading members or give a face-lift to the symbol of the party, the elephant," said Sukumaala Rupalavanya, an up and coming name in the world of facials and overall cosmetic attraction. "With the battering received by the jumbo the UNPers rode on to their inevitable defeat, it will be a really elephantine task to improve the looks of that green pachyderm. I don't think there are any veterinarians in the world who are qualified in cosmetic surgery for pachyderms to the extent needed to improve the looks of this elephant. I think they must be thinking of the looks of the leaders," said Prathirupa Nirmaana, who owns a PR agency that specializes in the image building of people. Cosmetic surgeons It seems obvious today that there will be much more than a face-lift needed to make the UNP more attractive in the eyes of the people. With all the fat that its leaders, who were not weight watchers, added round their waists, there will be the need to obtain the services of many cosmetic surgeons to carry out liposuction surgery, to remove all that fat of the people's assets and wealth they grabbed for themselves. The weight watchers kept watching these people fatten themselves in the open, while they saw to it that fattening took place in the bank accounts of their cronies. Tackling that will require much more difficult surgery than what cosmetic surgeons who specialize in face-lifts and liposuction procedures are capable of. Looking at the political image of the UNP when it behaved giving the impression they didn't care a damn for what the people thought about them and what they did, it is obvious that the people saw other developments too. The busts of its leading members, not only women, began to expand rapidly and became almost a weight to themselves, giving one the impression that they were getting silicone injections, paid for from public funds to improve their unisex bosoms. There will be a lot of political weight shedding by leading members of the UNP, if they are ever to look attractive to the people again. All that excess political silicon will have to be shed. They will also have to strictly follow the Lack of Political Power (LOPP) diet for a considerable time before they can come before the people and evoke a mild friendly response. The LOPP regimen is not a dietician's plan for politicians of the UNP only. It is a diet recommended for those in other political parties too that happen to control the reins of power. The important thing, even for those in power today, is to follow this diet, somehow not giving in to the mind set of those who wield power, that they will never be judged by the people. This can help people when in power and out of it. It is not only the frontal appearance of the UNP that gave offence to the people, but their rears too were a clear affront to those, who often had only that view of the UNP's leaders except when the frontal view was repeatedly shown both on state and private TV. The fact is that they often turned their backs on the people and their needs. Their political derrieres were far too developed and protruding, slap bang in the face of the people to have any good image. Reduction in its rear view too is very badly needed if the UNP is to have any credible attraction to the people, conveying the conviction that they have indeed changed, if such change is possible with the present leadership of the party. What surprises one most is that all this talk of a face-lift and a new look is said about the leadership in general or some blue and gold pals and some other catchers who happened to be around the leader who led the party's charge into defeat. And the leader too is happy to have it this way, with all criticism being said about the bad looks or image of all others but him. The US Defence Secretary, when questioned by the Senate and the House of Representatives about the Iraqi prisoners of war scandal had the courage to admit that it happened under his watch, and he accepted all responsibility for it. Not that it matters because he will not do what follows with accepting one's own responsibility that of resigning from office. People power The UNP leader has so far not admitted that all the humiliation the UNP had to face in the recent election took place under his watch, admit his responsibility for the defeat of the party, and thereby do the decent thing required of the leader of any political party who has led it to defeat 12 times out of 13. The members of the party are also not taking the fallen elephant by its tusks as it were and telling the leader that he is responsible for what has happened, instead of only talking about the need for a face-lift for the party. It is possible they are silenced by J. R. Jayewardene's constitution framed for the UNP, which gave so much power to its leader. But there must come a time when people power can overwhelm such obstacles within a political party, instead of diverting attention to mere cosmetic changes. One can give a face-lift, carry out liposuction, put on a new wig, give a brighter tinge of green to hair colouring, and do all those cosmetic changes to the party, but that is not the answer. Those who talk of changing the image of the party should look themselves in the mirror about the recent defeat, and what they will see in the mirror is the image of leader in the foreground, with the concerned party members in the rear. Those who seek change in the UNP must realize that the problem with the UNP is certainly deeper than its external image, whether it is one that needs a face-lift or not. Not all the cosmetic changes in the world can help any organization that does not accept reality and fools itself into the belief that it can expect the people to take it at face value, with no change in core, content and leadership. If it is only a face-lift that the UNP needs, then the former Prime Minister's own team of cosmetic media experts, who saw him back at the seat of the Leader of the Opposition, can certainly be relied on to carry on the changes needed, spending several more millions of party funds. It's time to realize that a face-lift is no solution for the politically crestfallen. There's much more needed for it than cosmetics. Face up to the leader should be the slogan instead of a face-lift for the party. |
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