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| Sunday, 4 July 2004 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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Police lore Engine language! Police Drivers are an important and integral part of the Police Department, as they carry the lives of Officers and other ranks in their hands as it were! As a routine, they are more close to the Officer category and their families than to their colleagues of similar rank. In addition to the duty of driving government vehicles, they voluntarily perform domestic tasks of the Inspector/Gazetted Officer category, which colleagues refer to as Pakkali Service without malice. In my long career, I came across some unique characters in the Police Driver rank, which in the words of the late C.L., S.L. Silva is that "each subordinate is unique." Dog Wary When I was in the Eastern Province, there was this police driver who was against the canine clan. When he was driving a vehicle and if ever he saw a dog - woe be unto the dog - for he would chase behind and somehow try to run over it, to kill or maim it. In most instances, he was successful in his mission. But all good/bad things must come to an end. The day he was chasing behind a dog in the jeep in Akkaraipattu town, the dog had entered a wayside tea kiosk with show cases at the entrance, containing eatables. This driver drove into the boutique, damaging the show cases, and somehow got his quarry, for it was found pinned under the front wheel of the jeep. The jeep driver's colleagues had to put a hat collection to repair the show cases and the jeep. The accident was not officially reported. I made discreet inquiries into the behaviour of this police driver and learned that his brother had died of 'Rabies' and thereafter, he developed this animosity towards the canine clan. Operation Baddegama Then, there was this young police driver while I was serving in a Southern Province outstation, a smart Alec who was married to an amazonian woman with a negligible goatee. When I met him he had three young children. He appealed to me and asked me if I could take him and his wife to the DMO Baddegama, who was a friend of mine, for advice on contraception, as he found it difficult to make ends meet. I readily consented and took them. The DMO took the Amazonian woman to the hospital theatre and about half an hour later, she came out with a blush on her face, showing much embarrassment. The following day I confronted the police driver who told me that everything went off perfectly. "Sir Loof Ekak Demma." I hid my smile and wished him well. I was transferred out of the Southern Province and after another five years or so, I met him at the Fort Railway Station with his wife and to my amazement, seven children. All were in good health, which meant that his wife had given birth to four others after "Operation Baddegama". I surreptitiously called the P.C.D. to a side and asked him "Yako, what happened?" He whispered to me "Sir next month itself the Loof got washed away" (Eelanga Masema Loof eka Hedila Giya) His wife was smiling to herself with her face looking towards mother earth, probably smelling the subject of the conversation. Engine language Then there was this police driver who was with me at an outstation, who always refers to even daily matters in 'Engine Language.' He would say, if a man had a cold - Leak Ekak, if he sneezes - Misfire Ekak, if he has a urine problem - Petrol Block Ekak, if he Burps - Plug Mis Ekak, if one was angry, it was - Engine Eka Boil Wenawa, to a senior colleague, he would refer as Thallu Start etc. These terms were used by him for matters in everyday life. He was about 40 years old, dark, fairly fat and short. His parents at last found him a girl for he was a bachelor all those years. It was a simple ceremony and I was one of the Attesting Witnesses. He went on his honeymoon and two days later, I received a message to the effect that he was warded in a hospital. Accordingly, as I needed his services back early, I went to the hospital to see him and saw his friends and colleagues round the hospital bed, giggling and laughing. The patient himself was laughing. When I approached the bed, his friends made room for me. I found him lying on his back, with his penis bandaged heavily and pinned to his right arm was a saline drip. I got close to him and asked him as to what happened ("Mokada Une")? He said laughingly, "Sir Misfire Ekak". It was a herculian effort for me to suppress my spontaneous Guffaw. I imagined what may have happened and my guess was far from wrong. Finally, there was the incorrigible drunkard of a police driver who was nicknamed "Full Tank" as he maintained his stupor at the same level throughout the day and night, but never got into a fracas. He died of Cirrhosis of the Liver! |
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