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| Sunday, 28 November 2004 |
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Rope tricks with the hangman's noose Light Refractions By Lucien Rajakarunanayake The hangman wants security for himself - news item
Sooty Banda replied: "Why don't you hang yourself and save the coir rope industry?" The story could well be apocryphal, but it was typical of Sooty Banda's repartee. "What a plight we are in. We want to re-introduce capital punishment but can't find a local rope for the hanging, although one reads of enough cases where people have hanged themselves to certain death using local rope," said Veera Kohulanu, a big name in the coir industry, angered at them not even been considered to supply the rope for the gallows. This is another example of how the open market economy affects local industry, he said at a discussion on Crime and Capital Punishment organised by the National Chamber of Ghoul Industry. "It's the modern trend; nothing is good unless it is imported. And the thinking of these people is that even a person sentenced to death should be given the best treatment by hanging him or her with the best imported hangman's rope. The family of the victim can have the great satisfaction of knowing it was the best rope available that was used," said Jagath Ediriporaka. "There is more to this than just importing the hangman's rope," said Sugath Ellungaswatte. "Don't forget that tenders have to be called, which means there is all the possibility for tender manipulations, and the order even being placed with one who never tendered to supply the rope at all. Considering the cost of the rope, there is the possibility of considerable profit in supplying it. With the current demand for the gallows, it will not be confined to Welikada and Bogambara, but will soon be found in every town where there is a jail, if the hanging lobby has its way." "It is possible that the number of executions carried out will be included in calculating the Gross National Product each year," said Dandana Aarthika, a student of the economics of capital punishment. "I wonder whether the government will impose the 20 per cent duty surcharge on luxury items on the imported hangman's rope," he added. "Interesting question, if there is a surcharge will it be paid by the convict or the Prisons Department," asked Jagath Ediriporaka. "I think it is included in the category of luxury cars for MPs and imported duty free, considering the strong links between politics and crime." "Just imagine the pride of a business that can claim to be the sole agent for the imported Hangman's Rope in Sri Lanka. It will be mentioned in all advertisements and other imported luxury items too, and what a boost it will be", said Vada Thisdeka, who had already begun research on our traditional systems of capital punishment for a doctoral dissertation on the subject. "What about security for the hangman?" asked Jagath Ediriporaka. "We can't assure him of any protection by using the local police. It looks as if we will have to import security guards too." "Providing the hangman with an imported security detail will not do. He will have to be housed in custom built premises, with all the known security devices in the world, with the best armed security when he travels to the gallows for his daily hanging duties, or goes shopping or to a wedding with his family. Security will be needed for his family too, because there is always the possibility of a member of his family being kidnapped with the ransom demand for their release being that a particular convict should not be hanged," said Sugath Ellungaswatte. "This is an excellent opportunity for many of us," said Kirimel Neethiratne. "We can easily demand higher fees from clients charged with offences involving capital punishment." "How will you calculate your fees?" asked Dandana Aarthika. "Very simple," said Kirimel Neethiratne. "We will have a system of grading, where persons faced with the most risk of conviction being charged the highest. Our reason for increasing fees will be very simple, it is no more a matter of saving a person from life imprisonment, whether it will be commuted or not. It is now a case of saving a person from the gallows. The accused or those who hired him for the crime will readily pay." "But what about those who can't afford such fees, and are also actually innocent of the charges framed?" "That is not our problem. Those who don't have money can always seek legal aid and get lawyers who don't have our experience in matters criminal. This is a golden opportunity for us of the black coat fraternity. It is not just in the higher fees earned, but in showing our skill in getting people to escape the hangman's noose," said Kirimel Neethiratne. Those from the Police Department who had come for the discussion were sitting in a group and discussing the matter. When asked for their views, they all shouted "We are all for hanging. That is the only way to combat and bring down crime." When asked how they can explain this better, their spokesman Inspector Marukamba Vadakagaara said, "With the tactics that we use to extract information, we can be sure to get sufficient evidence and even confessions to have at least two convictions a day. We know the tricks of tracking down criminals. We also know the tricks of framing charges against innocent people. There is enough proof today that we know all the tricks of torture that can put that place called Abu Ghraib in Iraq to shame." "But what if an innocent person is convicted and hanged to death?" asked Jagath Ediriporaka. "It's just unfortunate. That is a problem for the lawyers. If the accused does not get a good kirimel lawyer we can't be blamed," said Marukamba Vadakagaara. "But with so many instances of mistaken arrests, torture in police custody and all that, won't there be instances of evidence being suppressed to ensure a conviction of an innocent person." "It is the Attorney General who files the indictment. He will decide on the basis of the evidence we provide. The latter part is ours. Don't forget that we are also interested in getting promotions and rewards for the number of persons convicted," said the police spokesman Marukamba. Meanwhile, it is reported that the Prisons Department is looking for a suitable land and a good contractor to build a high security house for the hangman. The bidding is said to be very competitive. |
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A friend asked Sooty Banda, that long-bearded master of humour in
journalism and social satire, "Why don't you shave off your beard and
save the razor blade industry?"
