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| Sunday, 27 March 2005 |
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Student life in an alien world, Fitting in by Jeevani Mantotta Before I went up to university my friends took me to see Shadowlands and Four Weddings and a Funeral - to prepare me for all those people called Giles and Tarquin and Clarissa that I would meet at Oxford. As a result, I spent the night before I went up worrying "Am I really clever enough? Will I make friends? Will I fit in" I think it was the fitting in that worried me most.
For some it's a chance to reinvent themselves. Many a school geek has turned up at university with a whole new persona and successfully turned themselves into the cool, confident individual that they always knew they could be. Of course, these miraculous transformations aren't always successful. It's a small world. Your deep dark secret will come out. No matter what your interests, you're bound to find someone else interested in it too. There are clubs and societies for just about anything (within reason). You can get together to enjoy anything from Shakespeare to Pratchett or Athletics to Poohsticks. It's also a great time to learn new things a language, a martial art, anything. For a lot of people these pastimes are almost as important as their degree and they use their extra-curricular experiences to catapult them into careers outside their subject. In the first week you have no idea what anyone is like. You don't even know what YOU are going to be like. So you talk to everyone, being extra friendly, just in case the person you're talking to turns out to be your new best friend. A few weeks later, you figure out where your interests and priorities lie (it's amazing how concentrated studying and socialising can help crystallise your feelings on this). You become more selective with your friendships and start avoiding some of the people you spent so long chatting to on day one. Oxford being the sort of place it is, it attracts a large number of eccentrics (ranging from the mad genius variety, to people who are merely a bit odd). After being puzzled by them for a while, I learnt to see past the genteel wackiness and recognise people that I actually have rather a lot in common with. Since you see each other all the time, every day, relationships tend to be very intense. Within a month your new friends will know you better than your school friends ever did. As you go through university you grow up. If you're lucky, your friendships will grow with you? and you'll keep in touch long after you've left to join the big bad world. In case you were wondering, I did meet a Clarissa and a few Giles's, but I've yet to meet anyone called Tarquin. |
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University is a great place for spreading your wings and becoming your
own person. For the first time ever, you have to fend for yourself. You
learn lessons about everyday things like paying the bills and basic health
very, very quickly (and usually the hard way). 
