|
|
|
| Sunday, 2 October 2005 |
 |
|
 |
Magazine |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
|
Short story: A Catharsis by P. M. Fernando
"Lower the volume. Father is tired. He has to work the whole day today," mother screamed again, "Lower the volume," again, "L O W E R the V O L U M E," and then, she kept silent. The volume of the son's music continued to thump the walls. "Forget about sleeping, how can anybody ever stay in this house? I can't even do any work! If ever I get pregnant I don't want to be here." "That's exactly why I don't want children. You see the trouble. That man is trying to sleep after a sleepless night of work and the wretched son has no concern for him at all. He brought up that wretched creature. He paid for the sound system and the CDs and he is not able to sleep now. I am not a masochist to sweat to buy suffering. It's much better without children." "We have had this debate for four years and that's enough! If our parents were like you, would you or I be here today?" Respect "This is the present generation. Unlike our generation, this generation does not listen to anybody. They have no respect for parents or anybody for that matter. They have the gangster mentality. Gangs of wretched brats can threaten to beat even the teachers." "Don't blame the kids. They are victims. School, tuition and Sunday schools with their endless inputs, competition and tensions take their childhood away. Children need more time to play than to study. And then the lies told by those who rule, stealing public property, corruption, violence, exploitation and deception are what they see and hear, even in schools." "Exactly, that's the very reason I do not want children. You bring up a child in this environment and you would suffer like our neighbour and die disappointed." "I don't want to argue anymore. We never run out of arguments. There's an emotional aspect to life. That's why I married you. I just want to love a child, even if it means much suffering. I have been dreaming since I was a kid to have my own child from the person I love. I will do the best I can to bring it up the way I think right. If we cannot produce a child, we can still adopt a child. But, if you do not want a child, I have thought it over and I have been waiting to tell you, I will divorce. Divorce The word "divorce" came like a bomb explosion and he fell into a deep silence. He remembered a long wake with a patient in a New York hospital. He was following a course in counselling and for his practicum he was assigned to the hospital as a patient counsellor. In the middle of that night, he was called to attend to a patient deeply troubled and wanting to talk to someone. He had undergone a brain surgery and would die in a week's time. "I cannot sleep even with strong doses of sedation. I don't have a child to inherit what I have earned. My wife is waiting for me to die. I have been hospitalised for more than one month and she came to see me only a few times. I was waiting to see her today. She didn't come. I called her over the cellphone. There was no response. She is dating someone. We have been married for five years and she has been resisting the idea of having a child. Secretly she has been taking birth control pills. I worked very hard to earn. I started with nothing and earned assets worth a hundred million. If I die, she can have a good future with another man, with my money. I have worked very hard for a treasure to be benefitted by some stranger who wouldn't care for me even in my hour of need. Without a child, my whole life is worthless. Today I gave much of my assets to a charitable organisation. Tell me if I did the right thing." Reflected As he reflected on the situation of that patient, he realised that his married life would be very rocky without a child. Now that she mentioned the word divorce, his life that had been so far peaceful, would be shattered before his very eyes. He thought. "It is possible, she might fall into the hands of some flirt and then, mess up." He decided to have a child as soon as possible even though the idea traumatised him. "OK! We will have a baby as soon as possible," he told her. "There's another problem brewing here. Your siblings are already fighting among themselves to own your property. Since you do not have a child, they are now dreaming of getting what you have for their children. When their children come here, they already behave as if it is their house and property. They go to every nook and corner and pull out everything. Switch on the TV and watch whatever they want. Use the telephone to call anyone. No permission is asked. The other day, I heard your sister-in-law going to your study and telling her little daughter that all the books in your study would be hers one day. Now that they have expectations of owning your properties, if we are going to have a child, they will hate that child. And the child will feel like an alien in its own house, when the cousins come here and behave as if it is their house." Shattered He felt shattered once again. He had been somewhat puzzled at what was happening between his siblings recently, and he too had been feeling as if he was in captivity in his own house whenever a sibling visited him. The siblings would go everywhere inside the house, to the kitchen and to the bedrooms. Whenever, he visited a sibling, they would see to it that he and his wife were kept in the sitting room. What his wife said put everything into perspective. He suddenly realised what was happening to him and to his wife because of not having a child. He thought for a while and then made up his mind to make a new beginning of his life. "I figured out everything he told his wife. " We will sell this house and property and rent a house on the other side of the city, where my siblings could not visit us regularly. After we have a child, we will buy our own place and build a house, where we will have more privacy. In that house, we will put the TV in a special room. We will design it in such a way so that our bedroom, TV room, study room and kitchen won't be open to visitors.' Yet, she told him, "There's one more problem." He became anxious. She said, "You want a child now, because you do not want a divorce. You have been resisting the idea of having child for four years and now suddenly you cannot change your mind. The day you see your child, you will be traumatised. No matter how you pretend to care for the child, the child as well as I, will feel your rejection in ways you will not know." He felt helpless and became depressed. "So, you are determined to go for a divorce, aren't you? he asked her. "It's because you hate children!" Hate "I don't hate children," he protested. "When I was senior student in a prestigious school in this country, during the students' unrest, there were rampant erratic and riotous students' protests and strikes. Whenever the mothers heard of school riots, they came running to take their children home to safety. When they came, their own children took stones and threw at them. I was helping a poor classmate of mine with his financial; needs and I knew how much his mother loved him. When he told me "My mother came to the gate and I hit her with a big stone. She ran for her life." I did not want to see his face again. His mother did not know it was her own son who had hit her with a stone. My own aging mother was at home all alone for several years and the urchins of our neighbours used to throw stones at the house to frighten her in the night. In school, some of my classmates were going to prostitutes even when they were just fifteen or sixteen years of age and were pretending to go for tuition or for some sport. My best friend in school had contracted STD and I accompanied him to the special clinic for such diseases. All this destroyed my faith in children and I couldn't stop wishing never to have children of my own." "I understand Honey! You do not hate children, I know that. I have watched how much you care for the children of your siblings. It is only that you had lost faith in the children of the present generation. Yet, the fact is, there are good parents and good children standing out against the bad influences. Can't we take the risk, and do our best to contribute to a better world?" "Yes, we can. But, will you ever mention that bad word again?" "Never, even if you don't want children! You are my first and the child is second. It was intended for a catharsis. I am sure your children phobia will die out." |
|
| News | Business | Features
| Editorial | Security
| Politics | Produced by Lake House |
"Father is sleeping, son, lower the jarring volume of your music. It is
deafening! Father worked the whole night and just came to take a nap and
go back to work again in two hours time," mother screamed. 
