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| Sunday, 23 October 2005 |
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A challenge
Sexual orientation is a component of adult sexuality characterised by attraction towards members of a particular gender. Just like heterosexuality, homosexuality is also an alternative way of life. by Umangi de Mel "What causes homosexuality? What causes heterosexuality?" asks Rosanna Flamer - Caldera, Founder and Executive Director of Equal ground, an organisation that represents the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and questioning community of Sri Lanka. "These people are born that way. It's not an overnight thing where you get up in the morning and think, hey it must be nice to be gay and turn gay. It just doesn't happen. Although people experiment, sexuality, at the end of the day it is very fluid." She says it's unfair to restrain it by putting labels on people to stigmatise or marginalise them, just because you don't approve of the way they're born. Rosanna says homosexuality has nothing to do with one's environment in which he/she grows up. Are they different people? "They're like everybody else. Why should one's sexuality matter anyway?" She says it's ridiculous to marginalise people, merely because their sexuality differs from that of the others. Research shows like heterosexuals, homosexuals also range in shape, appearance and size and behave alike in relationships with family and friends. Self esteem and many other issues are a matter of concern to them. Other than their sexuality, homosexuals function just like heterosexuals, when it comes to judgement, adaptiveness and stability. "Gay or straight, what matters is the person. We don't go around in society asking people, if they are gay or straight before sitting beside them. What difference does it make? What consenting adults do in their bedrooms, should be nobody's business." Rosanna points out that in Sri Lanka, homosexuality is considered a criminal offense, "How can you criminalise over 10% of the population in the country merely based on the fact that you dislike the way they're born? or because the British, many years ago decided that they didn't like what this minority was engaged in ? We're so anti-western trends and anti-white establishment, but we still cling on to British laws. Considering all the discrimination that goes on, would anybody in their right mind want to be a homosexual in this country?" she questions, emphasizing on the fact that it's not a choice. Heartache "If I ever had a child, I'd hope that she/he would be straight, solely because of the heartache he'd have to go through. So please don't think it's some fad that people engage in for sexual gratification." This minority is constantly shunned by society, thus they live in the closet. It may have a negative effects on these people, creating feelings of shame and guilt in them. "In Sri Lanka, some people are more equal than others. The constitution here guarantees equality to every citizen. Yet, homosexuality is a criminal offense," she says the so-called homophobics have probably never spoken or known a gay person, as the latter was always live in the closet. She feels that it could be the reason why homophobics feel free and brave enough to attack that person as he can't fight back. "But we are fighting back now," she claims adding that nobody can tell her, she should be ashamed of herself. "I look at my mom who's so proud of me. Why should I care what other people say? You can't say I'm a worthless person, just because my sexuality differs from yours. In fact, that's what people have been saying in this country for a very long time," Rosanna says that it's not about changing laws but a matter of understanding. She brings out the ethnic conflict in Sri Lanka and says it's a result of some people being more equal that the rest. Rosanna says people must open up and treat everyone equally irrespective of their sexuality, gender orientation, race, religion and abandon the class/caste system, as it segregates people. Speaking about helping this important minority to overcome social prejudice, Rosanna says changing laws won't change attitudes. She feels that people should be very positive about homosexuality. "There's a misconception that all gay people try to convert others. It's impossible as you are born with these traits. Also, another major myth is that all homosexuals are paedophiles. Actually that's one way of keeping us down. It's like saying all the Tamils or Muslims were terrorists. Paedophilia is committed more by the heterosexuals. If there's an issue of paedophilia in society, then it's up to the government to make sure their police force and the judiciary is well equipped to take care of that." Religious groups Talking about the views of religious groups, she says homosexuality may be against their theory, yet points out the fact that in any religion, the universal message was love and not hate, "It's in God's hands not in the hands of people." 'Equal Ground' claims to be making an attempt to empower the gay community and help them think differently. "We're going to rural villages as well as overseas. Also we're planning social events for gay people. A a gay and a lesbian chorus group would soon be formed to entertain, a dance troupe was also on the cards for gay men and to get involved in social and cultural events. We're not trying to be violent and create a war just because we're discriminated," she says. According to Dr. Ranil Abeysinghe, Consultant Psychiatrist, University of Peradeniya. Homosexuality was a sexual preference, where a person feels sexually attracted to another person of the same sex. "It's no longer considered an illness nor is it a sexual perversion. It's completely natural and is nothing to be ashamed of," he says. Although homosexuality has been considered a mental aberration and homosexuals were put in a closet in 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the list of mental disorders. "Doctors have come to understand that it can't be changed. But most of the people still ind it difficult to understand this difference, which is actually a common trend. It's human tendency ,if you find another person having a difference, then people consider that person abnormal. Just like the European and American white men considered Blacks inhuman in the early days. They brought various theories to prove that Blacks weren't humans. But science doesn't accept it." Our shrink says that research shows 4-5% of the population was exclusively - homosexual. It also showed that 7-8% could be either homosexual or bi-sexual. Tolerance According to him, homosexuality was not a problem culturally or socially. In Sri Lanka, unlike in certain countries like Jamaica where they beat the gays to death, there is tolerance although there was still a social stigma attached to it Dr. Abeysinghe points out that it's just like having people with other differences, "Some are fair, some are black and some can have different sexual orientation. We must educate the majority that being a homosexual was not a sickness. We've got to learn to accept the difference." He says the homosexual minority should not be ashamed of themselves and adds that they've got to help their own kind. According to him there were many youth who were distressed by their sexual orientation and were trying desperately to be heterosexual. Some have even attempted marriage to please their parents, "It's not fair by them and innocent spouses are then left in the lurch. You've got to help these people accept their sexuality." He talks about the misconception about homosexuality and paedophilia and says that most paedophiles weren't gays. Differences make life interesting, after all we're all human beings irrespective of race, religions or sexuality. |
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Tall, short, black, white, poverty, abundance,
Sinhalese Tamil, Muslim and men, women... we live in a world of
differences. The universe just wouldn't be so interesting if it was
perfect and there was no room for improvement or change... God takes and
gives, we have no right to question but accept... 
