|
|
|
| Sunday, 11 December 2005 |
 |
|
 |
Magazine |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
|
Bitchiness in women by Rikaza Hassan There are also certain numbers of females who are so fake and so very despicable that they simply bring out the bitch in all of us. These women make the kindness and patience that comprises an average female to be replaced by repulsive hatred. Agree with me or not, there are a women out there who are immensely talented in the art of provoking their own kind while having the male kind hanging at their fingertips. While we females are able to see their falseness very clearly, the members of the opposite sex clearly possess no such clarity. As we delve deeper into these hated women, we find they possess common irritating attributes such as plenty of success, no real talent, beauty (not the natural god given kind) and frivolity. While we find women who are collectively hated by other women everywhere, there is nothing more vexing than those female celebrities, ogled by millions of male homo sapiens, that we can do absolutely nothing about. The frustration itself takes off a couple of years out of our lives. First up is Katie Holmes. With her height, anorexic figure and seriously bad skin (do you have humongous moles on your back?), she is according to Shenali, 21 "very, very pissing off. All she has a pretty face, has not actually proven herself fully and at 26 she is not just engaged to Tom Cruise but also pregnant with his child. It's absolutely unbelievable," she sighs in frustration. "Nicole Kidman was different. They looked good together, but Katie Holmes is a whole different thing altogether." "Have you ever tried watching an Angelina Jolie movie with a guy on a date?" asks an angry Nilukshi. "He could have professed his love for you just a minute a go, but once that woman takes over the screen, he goes speechless with his jaw hanging down his neck and saliva nearly dripping down his chin. I do not get it. Other than her lips there is absolutely nothing remarkable about her and she is considered one of the hottest women ever. And now she's got Brad Pitt in her clutches after breaking up Jennifer Aniston's marriage. Absolutely infuriating." Harini, 18, a fan of Hindi fare has this to say: "I hate Aishwarya Rai. The woman has taken over the advertising industry from Lux to L'Oreal. She has gone through a string of lead actors from Salman Khan to Vivek Oberoi. She is thrown in to our faces all the time and unfortunately the guys are unable to see her provocativeness." Cosmetic surgery is another big no. Breast enhancement is even worse. Pamela Anderson's enormous silicon implants made us feel like waifs. Lindsay Lohan's boobs beginning from her neck is sickening. Victoria Beckham's trophy husband and mammary implants make us punch air, in the least. "I simply cannot stick to Liz Hurley," says 23 year old Leah. "Elizabeth Hurley is known to have her lips filled, her boobs made bigger and possess cellulite in her upper thigh region, in the very least. She advocates a diet of just one meal a day to retain her stick-like figure. And yet she is the face of Elizabeth Arden, is offered movie roles for her willingness to bare. Her very obviously fake aristocratic accent and posh act makes you want to throw her a punch and hopefully break a couple of those precious bones." Another star who favours the micro stitches of cosmetic surgery close to her aureoles and is known to provoke is none other than recent mum Britney Spears. "She is a real life version of a dumb blonde. She cannot sing, act nor has the talent for anything else in the showbusiness or otherwise than her make-up enhanced looks and fake cleavage which she simply loves exhibiting. She is a disgrace to all womankind," reasons Sonali. And then there are the divas who profess to all and sundry that they're humble and down-to-earth while not leaving home without a massive entourage. Mariah Carey with her melon-like fake mammaries is known to demand her rooms be redone in pink including toilet paper when she is on tour. The diva queen of them all is no other than Jennifer Lopez. "She proclaims to the world of her humble origins yet is known that she attended private school. She loves the paparazzi, using them to have her face on even the sleaziest of tabloids, while blaming them for ruining her marriages. Just look at what she did to Ben Affleck. With her millions of assets and chunky bank balance, fake furs, designer dresses and classy credit card, she is probably one of the biggest fakes ever," says Dilini in exasperation. To those who will come up with it being due to female insecurity, that it is simply the green-eyed monster showing it's face, "there are a lot of female celebrities that we love." From Cate Blanchett to Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Sandra Bullock, all beautiful women with plenty of intelligence, humility and above all integrity. |
|
| News | Business | Features
| Editorial | Security
| Politics | Produced by Lake House |
