Plitics Unpcked

Booby trap

Why do journalist women have larger breasts than other women, somebody asked a scribbler. Because they always carry an identity card on their chest written 'PRESS', the scribe replied.

This is a sexist story, true, but we carry it without rancour - because the conversation really took place, and because the smart woman at the receiving end concluded "you will never know my size no matter what - well, they are not big as you think.''

We think that is liberating enough - and also pity enough to make any male chauvinist journalist shrink to his original size...

Expert analysis

Some so-called analyst types waltz around the cocktail circuit saying the President made a pact with some pen-wielding editors to talk to Prabhakaran, and through that accord promised to reign-in Karuna. This cock (....tail) talk is all based on a couple of sketchy newspaper reports. These pseudo commentators also say the President promised to reign in Karuna for two weeks, which shows he has control over what this Tiger renegade does. This take too, is being based on this same couple of sketchy newspaper reports.

The trouble is, the newspaper reports were both wrong - or to put it politely, they failed to pass the test of veracity. The President was saying that he learns of certain things he has done for the first time in the morning, and this via certain newspapers. But that does not deter our quotes-for-dollars analysts who go around mouthing profundities such as ''he promised to reign in Karuna'' when all he did was to invite some newspaper moguls for a jaw at Temple Trees.

Dumping ground

You'd be surprised at the amount of Colombo business elite eager to disown their leader - or their putative leader, the man who is distributing sirens on certain mornings when he is not moping. Some go to the extent of saying that the business elite who are really behind him are the parvenu - the car deal makers who have come from the outstations to make shady deals in aid of buying their flashy cars. The real Colombo elite own property they say - which is not worth much in terms of a relative assessment of liquidity, unless one is willing to dispose of all that real estate.....

They also say: All other rich behind Ranil are mere interlopers...... Colombo is just their vast hostel! Small wonder Ranil lost in the outstations.

Kiri te style

A chanteuse recently sang the national anthem of the host country and the national anthem of this country at a well-attended party. The hosts meant very well of course, but somebody hearing our national anthem said "its not meant to be sung the way Kiri-te-kanawa sings at the Sydney Opera House..'' Well she did not break any champagne glasses with the high-pitch, but anyway....all is well that ends well....

Story time

A certain by now quite a news-making scribe's journalistic prowess, by that person's own estimation is based on how many white persons can be accosted and spoken to by the hour.

These resident and non-resident aliens, according the rationale, tell a lot of tales. The whiter the skin, tighter the story?

A friend in need

Few have not been traumatised by the senseless killing of Major General Parami Kulatunga. What is adding insult to injury is the fact that his immediate family members had to spend nine hours at the mortuary before the Major General's body was released.

When some concerned parties were asked to provide some relief to the bereaved, we hear they were told of "learned counsel being present at times like this at the mortuary to facilitate matters'', but alas the grieving brother Samantha and his family members had no one of that ilk - silked ones or non silked ones - to help them in their hour of need..........

Bala's theatrics

The ideologue is under siege now that the world at large knows about him and his kind, and rightfully denounces them for their unabashed barbarity. But now he turns pseudo-statesman and ends up a cropper asking the Indian people and the Indian nation to forgive them for they knew not what they did, when they assassinated the grandson of Nehru. What next do they expect of India our friendly neighbour to do, for or on their behalf, hand them the toilet paper when they sit on their thrones in the morning? That quote incidentally, came our way from a well known king maker, who should know about thrones..