Is it not the done thing in Sri Lanka to have... parties without booze ?

by Rikaza Hassan

Is it your kind of party where baila music is being played by the neighbourhood band on the tiny platform erected just for them; where the ladies in their fancy sarees and gold jewellery congregate in separate groups discussing other women and their children, a few women with a mug of beer, some trying to get their kids to eat before it's past their bed time; where the men folk sit in a bubble of alcohol as old arrack to very special old arrack pour down their throats with or without the help of coke(coca cola) or soda?

...Or is it your kind of party where guests clink glasses of sparkling water or freshly squeezed orange juice amidst the sounds of Bach softly wafting from the discretely placed speakers in the parlour; where dinner is served in its five courses on time and conversation is serious but mostly meaningful; where no piece of cutlery is in danger of being violently smashed on a wall and everyone drives home safely unless they meet someone from the former party on the roadway.

"The problems with Sri Lankans partying, always boils down to the alcohol," says Shivanthi. "It doesn't matter what the function is: a wedding, an engagement, a birthday of a five-year old, people always expect liquor to be on the menu.

There is no party without the alcohol. Not only are they seriously offended when they realise it's just good food, decent conversation, but they also either sneak out and have a few, or sneak in a couple of bottles." Mahen, her husband adds, "my sister once threw a party for her husband's birthday and served only wine and beer. The look on most males' faces was pretty dirty, but then, they cleaned out her entire stock and she was forced to buy more to keep her guests happy."

In a country that is nowhere close to the Irish and their history when it comes to alcohol, can hardly be called connoisseurs, why are Lankans such dedicated lovers of the drink? "We live a pretty hard life and alcohol is the only way we know to let loose and relax," says a father of two. "Our wives may or may not let us have a small drink at home and it is only at social events that we get a free hand. It's the only way everyone (male) I know knows to party. Of course, we overdo it; it's like a man in a prison given six hours outside."

Nevertheless, the tradition of a booze fest at parties is fast changing. According to event manager Nilushi* times have changed and so have the people. "It is no longer mandatory to serve hard liquor at a social event. The current tendency is to have wine and beer, and social events without alcohol are no longer considered improper.

It is totally upto the host/hostess. People go to a pub these days if they need a drink, they don't wait for a social event to come along." On a personal level, Nilushi* believes that the serving of alcohol would depend on the guests. "I served only wine at my wedding, people complained and drank as much as possible, but I also avoided any misbehaviour ruining the most important day of my life.

As for a simple party at home, I'd serve alcohol only if the crowd is decent and well-known to me. If it's not, I will not even have wine."

However, not everyone agrees that times have indeed changed. "Booze is the most important ingredient in a party. You can have parties without chicks, you can have parties with horrible music, but you cannot have parties without booze," says Chandima, 19. "As for work-related stuff, yes, sober parties are tolerable - it just means that an after-party will have to be held which will cost.

But otherwise, people will probably only make a cursory appearance before they leave to get themselves wasted. I mean if you're really cheap, you can have a 'bring your own booze' party. A party without alcohol is just plain sad. It is such an un-Sri Lankan way of doing things."

So, just how important is booze to that party spirit? Are parties without it mere orthodox church-going-like affairs? Or are parties with it a celebration of our deep-seated animal-like selves?

*names have been changed on request