Shades of pink
It was a bright Friday after noon in the month of August. Students
dressed in all sorts of vibrant colours were passing me, clutching their
backpacks and making their way towards the hall. I had been standing
there for almost a half an hour, feeling nervous and worried to find
myself exposed to people I never knew.
I glanced impatiently at my wristwatch and continued to search for
the familiar face of my best friend, Nisha, among the sea of unknown
faces. I had known her long enough to know that she never had the habit
of coming early, even if her life depended on it. But since I had
reminded her for umpteenth time yesterday, about the first day of our
journalism class, I was feeling more optimistic.

Despite our vast differences, we had been the best of friends for the
past five years in Birmingham. She had always been a flamboyant
character, ready to face life as it comes, while I always preferred to
remain in the shadows.
She would say anything to anyone at anytime without the slightest
thought of its after effects, whereas I chose my words carefully to
match the mood of the situation. The list itself was as long as her list
of boyfriends. I was still thinking of us, unaware of the smile that
stretched across my lips when someone blocked my view.
"Excuse me," said a strong masculine voice, as I looked into the
handsome face of its owner. "Can you tell me what time it is?" he asked,
his face breaking into a wide grin. His dark brown hair was wavy and
features chiselled. Most of all his coffee brown eyes were breathtaking.
He squinted at the afternoon sun and continued to shade his eyes with
his right hand while looking at me. He was clad in a navy blue sweater
and matching pair of trousers. He was a good six inches taller than I
was and had a tanned complexion that gleamed in a deep shade of bronze.
Quizzical
He was still standing in front of me when I saw his eyebrows knit
together to form a quizzical look. Then only realized that I hadn't told
him the time yet. I glanced at my wristwatch but for the first time in
my life, I was unable to read the time. It was as if I was suddenly
struck by amnesia. My heart was thudding hard against my chest as I
struggled to concentrate on the hands of my wristwatch.
"Uh, it's just after one" I stammered, somewhat lamely, feeling
butterflies inside my stomach. I slowly let out my breath as I regained
my composure.
"Thanks" he said as he made his way towards the end of the terrace,
where he stood waiting for someone. She wore horn-rimmed glasses and
looked every inch the reliable pal that boys found comfy.
She was quite a contrast compared to the gorgeous guy in his
fashionable attire. I was still thinking of him when I felt someone
pinching my arm. "Perhaps you'd better come down to earth, Ama, and
thank me for not being late today". Nisha was standing beside me,
dressed in a bright shade of pink as usual, her hands on her hips and
looking at me with gracefully arched eyebrows.
"Almost" I grunted as we rushed towards the hall.Half an hour later
we were sitting side by side listening to Professor Jenkins describing
the "Attributes of a successful journalist".
"A successful journalist should possess the ability to unearth truth
from where it lies hidden and should be objective in his approach to
certain issues. He or she should be capable of identifying the true
personality of a person beneath the false exterior".
Disbelief
I stole a glance at my best friend sitting next to me. She was
fidgeting in her seat and drumming her fingers lightly on her desk as
she surveyed the crowded room, probably looking for a dark handsome
stranger. I shook my head in disbelief. "Some things would never change"
I groaned inwardly.
As I started jotting down notes from the lecture I felt Nisha nudging
me. She gave me a folded piece of paper.While I opened it, I looked at
her curiously but she was keeping a steady gaze at the professor herself
as if nothing happened.
Written in bold pink letters was the sentence, "That guy in the
second row is looking at you!". The whole paper was covered with tiny
hearts here and there. I wasn't affected by the note at first. It was
typical of her to tell me that boys are interested in me.
We had been through this for as long as I could remember. I has told
her for the millionth time that boys did not find me attractive. Even I
myself had given up bothering about it long ago. I would have rather
convinced a five year old. Well, she never stopped trying.
Resist
All the same, I could not resist the temptation to see whether she
had said the truth this time. I anxiously ran my eyes through the mob of
students. My eyes finally met those coffee brown ones. His eyes bore
into mine as his gaze pierced through the atmosphere, searching for
something I couldn't quite identify. I quickly pulled away from his
unbearable gaze. It had created shockwaves inside me. I felt my checks
burning hot and I was afraid Nisha would hear my heart beat in a most
thunderous manner.
As for the next few days, I found myself sailing through a
rainbow-tinted world. Even the weary voice of Professor Jenkins sounded
like thousand bells ringing in unison. I could not recall feeling like
this ever before. After all, no one had ever been interested in me.
Every time I entered the hall, I found his eyes following me as I
strolled through the rows of students. He seemed to observe my every
move, the way I walked, the way I smiled and even the way I chattered
with my friends.
At first, I felt extremely nervous to be under his eye but gradually
my nervousness melted away. It was soon replaced by an emotion, which
was foreign to me. For the first time in years, I felt conscious about
how I looked. Every now and again, I heard myself chanting the same of
words inwardly. "Someone is watching me!"
"Since when did you prefer pink to black?", demanded Nisha as I
flopped into the chair, next to her, wearing a floral printed skirt and
a matching pink top.
"Since now!" I replied smiling wryly at her. She cocked an eyebrow at
me while completing her homework in a hurry. As the minutes ticked by, I
caught sight of him looking my way. By now, I was used to it and
appeared to be more relaxed in his presence but all the while my
heartbeat raised to an alarming rate, leaving me breathless at the sight
of him.
Enigmatic expression
One Friday afternoon, I entered the hall with Nisha and walked
towards the middle of the room. I shot a glance at the second row,
expecting to see him gazing up at me with his enigmatic expression. All
of a sudden, I froze in my tracks.
He was not there in his usual place. I hurriedly surveyed the room
but failed to catch sight of him. Nisha had walked a few metres ahead of
me absently, thinking that I was following her. She turned around and
saw me standing numb in the middle of the hall.
She beckoned me to come. I hurriedly made my way towards her.I was
painfully conscious of the time passing by as the hall filled up with
students. I spotted the mousy girl coming through the doorway.
My heart began to pound as I craned my neck, hoping to see him coming
behind her. But it was the professor herself who came up behind her,
adjusting the spectacles neatly on the tip of her nose.
My heart dropped at the sight of her. Suddenly I was aware of the
four long hours, stretched ahead of me. Nisha leaned an elbow on her
desk, resting her palm against her cheek and observed me intently
through slightly narrowed eyes.
"I can almost see a dark cloud hovering over your head" she remarked,
shaking her head.
After two gloomy hours later, I caught sight of a folded piece of
paper sandwiched between my textbook and purse. Nisha was urging me to
read her note. I lethargically opened it. It read,
"You are in LOVE, my pal!"
Once again, the whole sheet was covered with tiny pink hearts. I saw
Nisha giving me a thumbs-up. I rolled my eyes at her and continued to
share at the mess, professor Jenkins had made with her illegible
handwriting on the board, which looked exactly the way I felt.
For me, the word "love" had always been linked with the word
"confusion". I knew for sure that no one could ever offer me the kind of
love, I wanted. After all, I did not believe true love existed. It was
only known to be found in romance novels or lovey-dovey movies but in
reality people seemed to start relationships for all the wrong reasons.
I had always managed to step neatly out of any confusing situations
but this time it was different. I did not know whether it was merely a
matter of infatuation but whether I saw him, I found myself captivated
in a manner, which surprised me.
That night I lay awake on my bed thinking about him. I closed my eyes
and pictured myself sitting across him in a heather covered moor filled
with wild flowers. His handsome face glowed in the afternoon sun as he
titled my chin up with one hand and gazed deeply in to my eyes. He said
nothing but kept his enigmatic gaze fixed on me.
"I love you" I heard myself whisper after a long moment as I Finally
fell asleep.
Studying
Three weeks later, I sat pouring over my textbook studying for the
exam with Nisha. We had chosen a place under the shade of a huge tree in
the grounds. So had many students of our class. They sat hunched over
their books covering almost every square inch of the grounds.
"Whose turn to buy ice-cream?" asked Nisha. She was sitting across
me, her legs crossed.
"Not mine" I responded sweetly, without taking my eyes off the book.
"All right" she groaned as she stood up, brushing her white trouser
with her hands. "I'll be back in a minute".
I lifted my head and saw her jogging leisurely towards the cafeteria.
Suddenly I caught sight of someone walking towards where I sat. Our eyes
met and I hastily looked down at my book. Dozen weird thoughts ran
through my mind as I kept reading the same line over and over again,
about twenty times. I could feel blood pounding in my veins. My heart
began to race harder with every step he took.
"Is he finally going to ask me out" I wondered, rubbing my sweaty
hands on my skirt. The class was due to end the next day after the exam.
A chill ran through my spine at the very thought of it.
Standing
I kept staring at my textbook as if it was the most fascinating thing
on earth. Then I was suddenly aware of him, standing right in front of
me.
I slowly lifted my head when I heard him say, "Can I sit down?" I
nodded my head in approval, unable to find my tongue. My stomach twisted
into knots as he flopped down in front of me. For a long moment, he kept
staring into space, his forehead slightly creased. "I don't know where
to begin," he finally said with a sigh, "By the way my name's Jay" he
said a nervous grin spreading across his handsome features. For a
moment, I wished I could be more lie Nisha. She would have handled this,
hands down.
"My father is an Indian and my mother's from Scotland. I had only one
elder sister, Gia. She was the only best friend I ever had" Jay said as
he raked a hand through his hair. He clasped both hands and his
expression turned grave.
"Why is he telling me all this" I wondered.
"You must be wondering why I'm telling you all this" he said voicing
my thoughts exactly. I smiled wanly at him. "You'll see" he assured.
"Like I said, I was very close to my sister. We were more like buddies".
He took a deep breath and continued, "My life suddenly stopped, when she
died of leukaemia two years ago".
His coffee brown eyes gleamed with unshed tears as his mind raced
back to the past. "I miss her so much".
"When I first saw you, I felt like looking at old Gia herself. You
had the same features, the same complexion and even the same sweet
smile. You filled my days for the past two months. You don't know, how
much it means to me. For that, I just wanted to thank you in person,
before tomorrow. Who knows, I might never get a chance", I heard him say
through the haze of distress.
Chathurani Ranathunge, Mahamaya Girls'
College, Kandy
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