"Why was she foolish enough to marry you?": In this new series, we ask couples how they met - and then the rest...:

Get me to the Registrar's on time? Forget it

by Lakmal Welabada

Imagine, how would you feel, if the ladies among you had to stay in your silky wedding saree and veil at the Marriage Registrar's Office from 7.30 morning to 3 o'clock in the evening, amidst the snide asides by your family and relatives who are upset due to the delay of your beau for the marriage registration?

Aaah...! Would it be the end of your love for him, right there? Or would you consider it to be a bad omen as you have already missed the auspicious time?

But for Piyaseeli Thebuwana, an 18-year-old bride then, it was just another big challenge to be overcome with patience and courage.

Clad in an elegant red and white cotton Kandyan saree and a red jacket, Hettiwattage Piyaseeli Thebuwana(68), retired Deputy Commissioner of Examinations, and Thebuwanage Don Cyrilsena(81) alias Cyrill, former officer of the Public Workers' Department (PWD), welcomed us at their residence at Gangodawila, Nugegoda. The couple will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary on November 28 this year.

Tea and cakes for me first, and then the tale of the wedding a half century ago began to unfold - a tale of two cities, Gintota and Nugegoda (Colombo).

Cyril, a PWD officer went to Gintota to help put up the new Gintota bridge across the roaring Gintota, and his heart melted for the enchanting beauty who walked to school along the railway track beside his workplace. After exchanging a few blushing smiles the smart young man sent the proposal to Piyaseeli's mother along with the watchman of the workplace, 'Raththaran Mahattaya'. "He is the most humble man I have ever met," he says, and Ratharan Mahattmaya was the only person to vouch for the suitor's suitability to his intended mother-in-law.

Cyril was born on December 11 in 1925 to Thebuwana Lewis and A. G. Podi Nona at Gangodawila, Nugegoda. Both his parents died when he was very young and he had only a faint memory of them. After studying upto Junior School Certificate at St. John's College, Nugegoda, he joined the Railway Department and later secured an appointment at the PWD. His two married elder sisters preferred a bride with a whopping dowry for him.

This attitude delayed the marriage of Cyril and Piyaseeli.

The young prince was not willing to lose his beauty though, not even for the throne. So he had to take a decision of his choice. Piyaseeli was 18 years and Cyril was 31 when they entered into wedlock in 1956.

They bought their jewellery from Kiththange, Tamil-Hetti jewellers at Kaluwella. The Chiffon wedding saree was worked in net, and Piyaseeli decorated her blouse accordingly. A princely Rs. 1,000 went for all that. Her neighbouring aunt helped Piyaseeli to fix the veil on, but warned her not to look at the mirror through the veil as it would be a bad omen. But when the aunt went out of the room, Piyaseeli looked at herself in the mirror and re-adjusted the veil to fit better. She had the courage to be smug about the 'bad omen!'

"On my wedding morning, I had a light breakfast, and a bottle of Orange Barley - my only sustenance till noon. We were at the Galle Registrar's Office from 7.30 in the morning.

When Cyrill was getting late everybody got excited. My Maama (mother's brother) approached me and my mother several times and showed his utter disgust. He also shouted out his doubts about Cyrill.' "How can you believe these Colombo guys? Don't know whether he lied to us? If he tried such a dirty trick I will teach him a lesson for his life,' he threatened.

'Aiyo! Ape Kella...Vililejjavai hemotama,' (O! our poor girl, it's a shame for all of us)..., everybody mumbled. I was nervous, but had faith in myself and Theruwan ('the Triple Gem') that nothing will go wrong. But all of us were so embarrassed as there were about 15 or so young couples who were there to get their marriages registered that morning. But we were the only ones stuck there waiting.," Says Piyaseeli while her husband, Cyrilsena listened with a big mischievous grin on a Cheshire cat face.

"When the Morris Minor of Cyril and his friends entered the premises, one of our relatives almost flew upstairs to the Registrar's Office, and broke the news of their arrival." Everybody felt rejuvenated. The marriage was registered without a murmur.

"I sent a telegram in the morning that day informing them we would be two hours late. But they had left their home for the Registrar's before the telegram reached. So what could I do?" chuckles Cyril.

"See the excuse he gives! He had slept till the sun rose and then leisurely gone for a hair cut and a shave while, my people and I were sweating it off and kicking our heels at the Registrars" sneered Piyaseeli." "The Galle Registrar's Office was close to the beach. So I do not think they sweated that much, as the breeze was cool in that area. Also they were comfortable upstairs," shot back hubby with a hearty laugh.

The beginning

I expected Piyaseeli to get angry fifty years too late. But, instead she served another cutlet for him, onto his plate.

The couple left for their honeymoon in a simply decorated Volkswagen car to the house at Lunawa, Moratuwa. Cyril had rented this house a few weeks before the marriage. His colleagues, their wives and children welcomed Cyril and his new bride with music, crackers and delicious food.

They had their wedding photo taken at Studio Fred Wick's at Kaluwella, Galle. The studio exhibited a huge enlarged photo of the starry eyed couple in their showcase, for fifteen years. It was something most memorable, among the memories.

"I always wanted to marry a person who is much older than I. Cyrill is 14 years elder to me. Also, during our time, government servant-grooms were in demand among brides and their elders. Even my elders strictly believe that.

When a boy comes asking for the hand of a girl, the first question her elders would ask was whether he had a job. So if he was lucky enough to have a government job, no questions were asked. But, then comes the horoscope! So if these two prerequisites were ok, then the other issues were considered secondary matters," she reminisces.

Hettiwattage Piyaseeli was born on May 15 in 1939 to businessman H. Dharmadasa of Medawatta, Matara and Rosa Nona of Baddegama. Piyaseeli has two elder brothers. H. Gunadasa followed his father's footstep and became a businessman.

The other brother is Dr. Somadasa Hettiwatta, a Math lecturer. "We stayed at Gintota. My father died when I was 3 years and our family was looked after by my maternal relatives," she says. "Although Baddegama was located in the south, the people of that area resembled the Kandyans.

Their women wore Kandyan saree and practised certain Kandyan customs. So we followed them. We lived in Gintota where the whole village knew each other and was just like one family. We studied at the Gintota Buddhist mixed School (...today, Gintota Maha Vidyalaya) which was established by Colonel Henry Steel Olcott, a pioneer educator for Buddhists. I studied up to the Senior School Certificate.

I wanted to continue my education, but for that I had to make a one hour journey by train to another school. I was planning for that, but marriage intervened. Also unlike today, a grown up girl was not sent out even during the day time without a guardian," she says.

Nursing and teaching were considered the most appropriate positions for women during that time. Piyaseeli joined the Teachers' Training College, Maharagama, and became a career wife and a mother. First tragdey

"Fate was not always in favour of us," she adds. The first ever tragedy the duo faced in life was the death of their eldest son who met with an accident at the 8th mile post at Wijerama in 1966. A sleepy lawyer's car knocked the nine-year-old down. For the first time Piyaseeli felt she lost her world. But she had to face reality with courage as she had to think of the future of her other three children.

"If our eldest was alive he would have been 49-years," they sigh. The repeat of the incident at the court testimony made Cyrill feel nauseated, and he stopped attending the case. And it was the end of that episode in their life.

The next goal of Piyaseeli and Cyrill was to have their own nest. They fulfilled their dream in 1967 after obtaining a government housing loan and shifted to their own home at Gangodawila. Piyaseeli is an honest, valiant and courageous woman who showed 'go forward' qualities in her character.

She got her BA (external) from the Vidyodaya Campus (University of Sri Jayawardanepura) and went up in the career ladder and became a Circuit Education Officer of Bandarawela, after being the Assistant Director of Education in the Ministry of Education for many years. She retired as the Deputy Commissioner of Education in 1999.

Piyaseeli won over her two sisters-in-law soon after their marriage and the three became best of friends. They never had any in-law problem , despite that early expectation of dowry. With ups and downs they paddled the canoe smoothly. "Cyrill is very stubborn in decision making.

It's very difficult to change his mind once he makes up his mind on something. So I had to nag him a lot many times, but somehow managed to draw him onto the correct track," laughs Piyaseeli. "She was a very loving, supportive and pushy woman who shouldered almost every burden in my life," says Cyrill.

Being able to take the correct decision at the correct time is the success of Piyaseeli's life. "Patience, dedication and honesty can bring wonders to your life," she points out with a humbly sweet smile.

Today, their three children are married and the Thebuwana couple are proud grandparents of two grandsons and a granddaughter. Her younger son married a Japanese girl and is living in Japan. Piyaseeli and Cyrill bless them all equally.

Chewing a mouth full of beetle while reading newspapers and watching TV are his pastimes. Politics is his favourite read. Needlework has been her hobby, on the other hand. Piyaseeli was the President of the Sangamittaramaya Buddhist society at Thalawathugoda for many years.

"I've never failed to observe sil on every full moon Poya Day since my retirement. Cyrill and I went thrice on Dambadiva pilgrimage. Every month we offer dry rations to the Buddhist temple. And so we are leading a serene and simple life," concludes the Thebuwanas.