'United we stand, divided we fall'

Darling we aren't too old, though we pass the Jubilee Gold
 

by Lakmal Welabada
 

Truth is a divine word
Duty is a divine law
                     - Douglas C. Mackintosh

Rovina Rajakarunaratne was in a pensive mood. She remembered what her mother used to tell about her marriage.

"Duwa, I will let you marry whom ever you like," she once said. But today, ten years after her mother's death Rovina had to agree to the proposal her grandmother had brought. She had not seen the guy yet. Whether he was handsome or not, short or tall; fat or thin, Rovina had to say 'yes'....

She didn't see her wardrobe that her grandma and aunt were preparing for her honeymoon. Even the eloquent wedding saree was shown to her just the day before the wedding. But the wedding jacket which was stitched for her by getting her measurements two weeks back was perfectly ok. Rovina looked in the mirror. The headress, the short veil and the Kandyan saree she wore made her look beautiful.

And Kuruppuge Wilson Andrew Thennakoon was waiting at St. Mary's Church, Ampitiya for his prospective bride. Andrew and Rovina were both silent and nervous though they tried to look normal. Both were thinking about the same thing- they were going to get married to someone who was almost unknown. It was arranged by her grandmother and his mother.

The very first day when he came to her place with his mother, he barely raised his head. He was too shy. So was she. And the second day he came alone, but had no chance even to talk a few words with her. Her grandmother was there (sitting in a corner) pretending to read a newspaper. So Andrew just exchanged a cordial smile with her. Rovina's heart sank. She knew how her classmates talked with their boy friends even in that extreme orthodox community in Ampitiya.

But, for her it was just a dream. Even to go out of the house she had to accompany her grandma. From the day of her mother's death Rovina was in her grandma's custody. On the other hand she consoled herself by thinking what a burden grandma had been shouldering since the day of her mother's death.

Looking after a young lady like her and her other three siblings - her sister and two brothers was a big responsibility. However Andrew started writing to her. At least a few letters were being exchanged. But! Every letter that was exchanged had to come through Aachchi Amma's supervision.

Rovina received none of them straight from Andrew.

None were posted without being seen by Aachchi. So they had no way of exchanging a single thought of love. It was all about 'how are you keeping', 'I am fine' and how is the weather and a little bit about the family members....

Rovina lost her father (David Rajakarunaratne who worked at the Railway Town Planning) when she was about 8 years old, and her mother died when she was 15 years old. Rovina first came from Ampitiya to Negombo to enter Maristella Convent. "Mother Mary Emelda who was at the convent was my father's own sister.

She was very kind and loving. But, she didn't want to keep us (both my sister and I) at her school. And we were transferred to St. Sebestian Convent, Kandana. Sister Mary Emelda became the Mother Superior later at St. Bridget's Convent," reminisces Rovina.

"After my father's death, it was my Mahappa (father's elder brother) and maternal relations who looked after us. My mother suffered from asmatic problems so my grandmother brought her from Ampitiya to Colombo and stayed at Kolonnawa. I also came down to stay with them.

We stayed there for six months. I couldn't attend school, but didn't regret this as I was able to look after my mother. When she passed away, my grandmother took all of us and went back to Ampitiya. My sister and two brothers who were also studying in Colombo were sent to Seminaries College, Ampitiya," she recalls.

On August 31 in 1956, Rovina turned a new leaf in her life. She did not have a clear picture of what her life was going to be with him, the unknown groom. And neither did Andrew, the mother's boy who also had little to think about as all the arrangements were done for him by his mother who was a doctor.

Andrew's father was dead by then, and Andrew was the only child who was brought up with care and attention.

R. Thennakoon and Dr. Lucy Thennakoon of Katugastota, Kandy were Andrew's parents. He studied up to Senior School Certificate at St.Anthony's College, Ampitiya. The bashful youth's passion was sports.

And during that era, joining the Royal Forces (RF) was a craze among the young chaps. When he heard that his friends were applying to RF, young Andrew too got the idea of joining the Royal Army. Since he knew it would not be in favour with his mother, Andrew sent an application without her knowledge. But, when he got the letter for the interview he had to tell her.

"What has to be done now is to face the interview well," blessed his mother with a smile. It was the first occasion that her obedient son had done something behind her back as far as she could remember.

After going through a one year training period at the Diyatalawa Army Base, Andrew passed out as a Signal Officer. Since he had only a faint memory of his past we couldn't gather much information of his career. He was serving at Trincomalee by the time his mom arranged his marriage.

After spending a two day honeymoon in a Kandy hotel, Andrew went back to Trinco leaving his new bride at her aunt's place at Ampitiya.

After a few months, Andrew managed to get a transfer to the Katunayake Air Force Base. Rovina and Andrew started their new life in a rented house at Ja-Ela. For the first time in her life, Rovina felt she was breathing freely and living happily with the stranger she had married.

Rovina and Andrew had five children, but only two were blessed to live in this world. Their two daughters, Fredrica and Romani were brought up like flowers. Rovina played a big role in the family circle.

They built their own house at Katubedda, Moratuwa in 1973. "My mother-in-law was very fond of me, so I never had any "in-law-problems". Andrew was too kind and gentle, so it was me who was strict even with my two daughters.

But I was not so bad like grandmother," she laughs. "Oh! she was behind me for a long time, when I was in love with Romani," butts in their son-in-law, Ajith Wasantha Wickremarachchi, Match Referee and Cricket Coach. "You have to be sure whom your daughters are engaged to. It's our responsibility.

Their happiness is our happiness too, isn't it?" asks Rovina with a broad smile. "We are very proud of both our sons-in-law, Ajith and Ravi Abeywickrema," she says.

Gayapthi, the youngest granddaughter of the two serves us a drink. "Unlike those days, now we are under the government of our grandchildren.

Even today it was Gayapthi who chose this saree for me to wear and helped me to dress up," says Rovina in a cheerful tone. With the gleeful company of their 22-year-old grandson Priyanath, 16-year-old Chathurshi and 10-year-old Gayapthi youth seems to have returned to the lives of Andrew and Rovina.

They celebrated their Golden Jubilee Wedding Anniversary this year at a special service at Queen of Angel's Church in August. "We misplaced our wedding photograph during the war as we had to shift from Colombo to Kandy in a hurry.

Those are the only pictures of our youth left at present," says Rovina showing two photographs of themselves bubbling with youth placed on a glass cabinet in the living room. Live within your means and be united in everything you do, are the two secrets they would like to pass to all the married and unmarried readers of the Sunday Observer.

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