Darling we aren't too old, though we pass the Jubilee Gold

Every day is the beginning of a new year: For the happy, united family

by Lakmal Welabada

'New Year's Day comes and goes. But for a happy united family every day is a new day filled with joy and peace.'

The 'Jolly trio' of the Dalpadadu family was still in the 'Annasi' (pineapple) grove just behind their house at Dalugama. Eating 'Annasi' one after the other while looking at the various types of birds who flew down to the grove. Humming along with their beautiful chirping was the most enjoyable pastime of these three sisters Rita, Daisy and Mercy.

Once Rita Akka entered wedlock, it was Daisy's turn. "Please I want to continue my studies and do a job," resolved Daisy. "Then what to do? Let us give Mercy in marriage," decided their mother and elder brother. Daisy was relieved. In fact she willingly became one of the bridesmaids of the younger sister.

"Akka has become Nangi's bridesmaid," the 'Kasu kusu' among the relatives at the wedding was not at all a bother to young Daisy as her ambition was not to get married and cage herself like her two elder step sisters who married at the age of 16.

Kostapatabandige Daisy Maria Dalpadadu was born at Grand Street, Negombo on March 1 in 1931 to Kostapatabandige Emmanuel Benjamin Dalpadadu, a hotelier and Ilekuttige Elizabeth Fernando. Daisy had two step sisters from her father's first marriage, and one brother and four sisters.

When the girls of the family attended school going age, their father shifted from Negombo to Kandana so that his daughters could easily be admitted to St. Sebestian Convent, Kandana. Daisy went up to Senior School Certificate and decided to apply for a teaching post in a Roman Catholic assistant school.

Before 1959, the Catholic and Christian schools were governed by the church. Under the new rule imposed in 1960 all such schools were taken over by the government. Daisy's first appointment as an English teacher was in the Roman Catholic School, Dalugama.

With her appointment the family again shifted to Dalugama as none of them wanted to be apart from the only working sister of the family. By then their father was dead and the only brother was shouldering the responsibilities. But three fourths of the little salary Daisy drew (Rs, 136) from her teaching post, she handed over to her mother.

It was a big achievement for the young woman as she was the first ever girl-rebel that went out for a job in her family.

Hettiyakandage Vincent Justin Nonis was just 13 years old when he entered St.Aloysius College Seminary, Colombo. His parents who had noticed the difference between Vincent and their other five children gave him permission with smiling faces. "Let him go there and study a while. I'm sure he would feel home sick and come back," Vincent's father murmured to his wife when he saw tears in her eyes at her favourite son's departure. His father predicted correct.

Vincent was born on April 14, the auspicious day of the Sinhala and Tamil New Year at an auspicious time. Hence, he was considered as an especially lucky baby boy by his parents, Hettiyakandage Thomas Lorento Nonis, a furniture businessman and Thelge Maria Fancina Pieris at Kadalana, Moratumulla, Moratuwa. Vincent was the third of the six siblings in the family.

The religious and the disciplined background at the seminary gave Vincent a lot of relaxation and blissful pleasure. He knew he was spending the most valuable few days in his life devoted to God, while continuing his studies. Vincent was a music lover. He was musically bent when he was a kid. He learnt to play the mouth organ on his own. The seminary was the best place for him in this sense. The priest taught the boys to play the organ.

But the teenager and the petted son in him started to awaken from time to time. When he came back home during the school holidays he felt he was missing something enjoyable by staying away from his siblings.

He began to miss his family. Proving his father's prediction, after two years, Vincent came back and re-joined his old school St. Sebestian College, Moratuwa. However he used to miss his seminary as well. At such times, he either played one of his music instruments or went to the St. Anthony's Church and prayed for happiness and inner peace for him, his family and then for the whole world.

After sitting for the Senior School Certificate Vincent got through the government clerical examination. His first appointment was at the Education Department. After some time at the Education Department, Vincent got a transfer to the Housing Department. Unlike nowadays there weren't many girls in the government sector clerical staff.

However all the girls in his staff were already engaged by that time. "At the back of my mind, I always had the idea to marry an English teacher as I knew one day I would have children. And if I had an English speaking wife, I thought that my children would also easily pick up the language and she would have more time to devote for them. Teachers have short daily schedules and three long vacations," he says.

His wish came true. The proposal which came from Dalugama gave him hope. "She is an English teacher, one Miss. Daisy Dalpadadu," said Vincent's sister when they were proceeding to Daisy's place. The mustard coloured saree worn by Daisy made her look prettier. "She looks docile and intelligent," he thought. When Daisy's brother asked for his consent Vincent came out with a fine logical answer.

"Well, yes, I am attracted to her physically, but I want to get to know her for sometime to see whether she suits me." When Vincent said this Daisy's brother gave a warm smile and nodded with approval. Since then Daisy waited eagerly to listen to the sound of Vincent's auto cycle which never failed to stop at her doorstep ....

After six months the couple were seen at St. Lucia's Cathedral, Kotahena on December 26 in 1956. The plain white veil fell down on her face covered her beautiful eyes. And Daisy would never forget the calm and silent beam that was on Vincent's face. He was so handsome. The bashful maiden quickly turned her eyes down, and then towards Jesus on the Cross trying to concentrate on her prayers to God.

"A happy marriage. Give me the strength and wisdom," she prayed. "I have been thy servant, please let me have a happy marriage," he prayed. R. L. Arnolda, Commissioner of the National Housing Department and A. B. R. P. Gunathilaka and Export Superintendent of the Colombo Port were the attesting witnesses of their marriage.

After the church service Vincent first went to Dalugama to thank Daisy's mother for giving him a good wife. "It was always in my mind that I would pay a special tribute to the mother of my bride," he says.

After that the couple came to his home at the Moratuwa, had lunch and went to the Kalutara Rest House. After a very informal home coming at Moratuwa residence the couple resided at Dalugama. Their first baby was born. By that time Daisy's brother was married and staying at Ja-Ela with their mother.

Daisy and Vincent too moved to Ja-Ela hoping to get some help. Once she finished her maternity leave Daisy reported back to work leaving her baby girl, Jean with a servant maid. However, Daisy was not at all happy about the conduct of the servant. So she took a decision.

Vincent was bewildered to see his wife at an odd time in his office. "Why? What's wrong? Is anybody sick? Or is anything wrong with Jean?," "No! Everything is fine. Vincent, please don't blame me I resigned from the job. I cannot bear this anymore. Jean needs me. My child is more important than anything, Vincent," she said. Vincent sighed in relief. "Ok! ok! quite fine. The child comes first. You did the right thing," backed Vincent.

However Vincent knew that her resignation would affect their economy, but was too happy when he thought that his darling baby is safe in her mother's care. Who else would look after a child than her own mother? But a miracle also took place. From the day that Daisy stopped working Vincent was getting over-time in his office.

Moratuwa Maha Gedara was vacant. Daisy decided to move with her mother-in-law who had been so good to her. "She was a jewel of a woman," she reminisced. Another fortune was awaiting them. After three months of her resignation, Daisy met the Priest of St. Anthony's School.

After this one meeting she got a letter from him offering her a job at the school. The school was just a few minutes walk from their residence. So she went back to work and served for 32 years. During her absence her mother-in-law was there to look after all her six children; three boys and three girls.

"Vincent was a firm father and a disciplinarian. I looked after the education side of the children," she says. "We are very happy about them. We are blessed with very good children. They had a fine education.

Our eldest daughter, Jean Perera is a Consultant doctor in Forensic Medicine at the Colombo Medical College. Two others are residing in Canada and Florida, USA. All are married and their spouses are also very nice," he says. Today the happy couple are blessed with 14 grandchildren. The eldest grandson is 22 years, and the youngest granddaughter is 5 years.

"All our children are musicians as well. Those days we used to take part in the musical competitions as a family. When they were small we used to have a musical session every Friday evening.

This lasted until the Television intruded and conquered the whole set up," laments Vincent. "But our children look after us well.

We are very thankful to them for all the good and mad things they do for us arranging a special Church Thanks Giving Service at the St.Anthony's Church, Kadalana and throwing a gala bash for the Golden Jubilee Wedding Anniversary.

Since it falls on December 26, on Tsunami day we had to change the date for the service as it is not a party day anymore to anyone in Sri Lanka," he smiles. "Living together for 50 years is not an easy thing. Truthfulness and fairplay have always been our principles and we lived with them.

We always discuss everything before coming to a conclusion. Also, we are quite flexible in class, creed and beliefs though we are ardent Catholics. Two of our children are married to Buddhists and are living happily," they say.

Gardening, watching TV, giving English tuition to the "lower in come group" children, attending a little bit of Church charity work and visiting their children and grand children are the daily events of their lives there days. Let me conclude with a saying of F. M. Knowles. "There is no place like home, and many a man is glad of it."

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