Darling we aren't too old, though we pass the Jubilee Gold

Making it happen

through good cooking :

by Lakmal Welabada

"May all those who are married stay together to celebrate their golden jubilee. All you need are love, dedication and respect," says Hendricks, a Union Leader who celebrated his Golden Jubilee wedding anniversary with his wife last year.

Horatious Rothschild Stanislaus Hendricks, once the President of the trade union of the Port Commission and then the Port Authority for several times smiles broadly when he recalls the grand celebration thrown for him and his wife by their six children and seven grandchildren at the Fatima Church, Battaramulla last December 27, followed by an anniversary party celebration at Dune Hotel, Athurugiriya with the participation of nearly 60 to 80 guests.

"At the Thanks Giving, the priest rendered many examples from normal life," went on Hendricks, "He pointed out that some couples get their wedding picture from the most esteemed studio in the town. During the first six months the wedding picture could be seen hanging in the living room. Then it appears in the dinning area.

After sometime it moves to the pantry, and then it has to be pulled out from the storeroom. Same thing happens to the wedding albums too. You can guess what would have happened to the relationship between the couple. Just devastated! broke! ruined!"

Sergeant Major Richard Charles Hendricks of the Ceylon Lighting Infantry who later worked for the Colombo Port Commission and Florida May de Silva were his parents.

Hendricks came to this world at Dematagoda, Colombo on August 12 in 1929, as the eldest of seven children who were brought up with discipline and harmony. Generosity and unity were the two key customs practised in their ardent Roman Catholic background.

"I was very good at sports. Soccer was my favourite sport, so unlike today we, the boys had limited time, opportunity and interest in girls," he smiles. Hendricks learnt his alphabet at St. Joseph's College, Colombo and then moved to St. Aloysius College along with his father's transfer to Galle.

Then back in Colombo he concluded his happy school days at St. John's College, Colombo 9. After his Senior School Certificate (SSC) he joined the Colombo Port Commission in 1950. "During that time we were given preference as my father was an employee there.

After sitting for a writing exam I was selected to the clerical staff. It was a good job with high esteem. Many parents liked to give their girls in marriage to the boys in the government service. So we were in high demand," he laughs.

Hendrick's first salary was Rs. 80 which he used to hand over to his mother straight from his pocket, even without counting the notes. It was his duty to assist his parents as the eldest son, because two or three of his younger siblings were still schooling.

Hendricks was an active participant and organiser in almost all the functions that took place at the Port Commission. The annual dance held in 1953, became the most memorable day in his life. "There was a girl who was in a red gown and high heels who caught his eyes.

Her elder brother who was also an employee at the Port Commission had fetched his whole family to the ball. Hendricks stood beside him. And the big brother who noticed the young man next to him immediately introduced him to his family members.

When Hendricks shook hands with 'her' he felt some sort of an electric current passing through him. The bashful maid who had been noticing the young rogue's movements looked down with red cheeks.

Suddenly she felt like covering herself behind somebody. So she moved behind her sister-in-law. Sensing this Hendricks then asked permission to take her to the dance. "Ok, Lorna, go go," fussed the sister-in-law. "Lorna! Oh! lovely name," he thought while taking her hand to the dancing floor.

Lorna avoided his eyes as much as possible. But her heart was beating fast. She could hear the 'Dub Dub' of her heart. She didn't know that her family members were looking at them from afar. Luckily her parents were present at the occasion.

Edna Dorinda Chrystabel Pereira whose pet name was Lorna was born on April 27 in 1934 to Andrew William Pereira, Labour Supervisor at the Port and Cecilia Anastasia David.

Lorna was the youngest of the six siblings. She studied up to the Junior School Certificate (JSC) at Good Shepherd Convent, Kotahena. Lorna never wanted to go for a job. Instead she loved to help her 'Mummy' at home.

Hence Lorna became the best cook and dressmaker in the whole family. Still her siblings love to have get-togethers at her place as her rice and curry seem the best out of all the others'. "Even the hoteliers cannot serve such a delicious dish," they would flatter her. Lorna smiles humbly. The bashful maid seems still living in her, even at the age of 62.

'Fill his heart with love and fill his tummy with good food. That is the best path to your man's heart.' Lorna always believed in this secret. Hendricks the 'Lucky man' chose the correct woman.

"Shall I visit your home?" was the only words he could utter at the end of the dance. She nodded still looking down. Hendricks wondered whether the dancing floor was more attractive than his face because she always looked down. After a few days when he was going to her place at Mutwal he laughed with his friend recalling this.

Lorna too was feeling uneasy since the day she met Hendricks. Every time when her people greeted a visitor who entered from the gate her heart stopped beating. "Is that him?" she would look through the curtains. Many times she ran to the bedroom and peeped into the mirror to re-check her appearance to welcome 'him'.

The nights were too long for her. When she complained of the sleepless nights, her Mummy searched out a long prayer from the prayer book for her to read before going to bed. But only Lorna knew why 'sleep' didn't reach her. Neither a prayer nor an angel could cure it. The only medicine for her was in seeing him again.

Finally Hendricks visited her. Her humble and soothing ways, her pretty eyes and of course her delicious dishes held him tight. There was no way out for him!

The two Bhurgur families had nothing against each other. Hendriks, the humble eldest son's choice was the choice of his parents as well.

After three years of courting Hendricks and Lorna took the sacred vows at the altar of St. Lucia's Cathedral, Kotahena on December 27 in 1956. Lovely Lorna who was in a long white bridal maxi walked to the God's house with her father.

Hendricks gazed at the beauty walking towards him.

Her white veil swept across the floor behind her. Sweet little maids and flower girls who resembled little angels were walking beside her. After a few months the realities of the life started emerge.

During the first few weeks the couple stayed at his place and then moved to a rented house at Kelaniya close to Lorna's parents' place. Soon they were blessed with children. One, two, three.... and up to six with twins.

"We faced many difficulties when looking after the children (especially the twins) as we never had servants. Nobody was there to help us. But we managed all alone, without a fuss.

And I never sat on a chair reading a newspaper, smoking a cigar and listening to the radio (TV was not available at that time) while my wife served me a cup of tea. I too got together with her and looked after the house chorus.

I even helped her with the children's work. That was how we managed everything. I was never with a swollen head thinking I was the bread winner and my wife who was not working should be a slave at home shouldering the whole burden in the kitchen and looking after the children.

No, No, that is a wrong attitude which leads towards sorrow, and a frustrated married life. We, the men should always think that the wife is also a human being," points out Hendricks. Of course, wives are not only 'cooking utensils' and 'sex tools'.

The man who respects the dignity of his woman (wife) should be worshipped and elated to divinity! Hendricks retired at the age of 60 after serving for 39 years at the Port.

He was a Class-1, Grade-1 Clerk by the time of his retirement. During the time of his service he held the post of President in the Port Trade Union for many years. "We fought for salary increments, extensions and many other welfare facilities of the workers. I am very happy when I recall our past. We could always negotiate with the authorities to pass our 'necessity bills'," he recalls.

"He is a very good husband who looks after me and my children. What else is there to say?" laughs Lorna. "Lorna never gets angry. I do not know how she controls herself," butts in Hendricks.

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