The bogus transfers

Passionate Pen

Compiled by Sajitha Prematunge

by Joe Jayasuriya

This is an account of some hilarious incidents that took place in a urban council office over fifty years ago. All names have been changed.

I was appointed as a clerk to this office on the result of a competitive exam and an interview conducted by the Local Government Service Commission.

The Local Government Service, it must be mentioned, consisted of all Municipal, Urban, Town Councils and village councils in the island. Exams for recruitment to these local bodies were gazetted and conducted by the Commission which consisted of 10 or 12 members, headed by a chairman. Appointments, transfers, promotions and disciplinary enquiries came within the purview of this Commission. The Local Government Service was a transferable one.

I assumed duties in this office in October 1955. My duties were to attend to building applications and trade licences. The U.C. staff was an all-male one, and at 21 I was the "baby" of the office. All official correspondence at that time was in English.

The office was housed in an old residence along Galle Road. Since it was a Grade III U.C., the entire staff consisted of about 10 or 12 officers and 3 peons. It was a very homely place.

The Chairman of the Council then was an elderly gentleman a gem merchant by profession - who came to office about once a week or so. He would spend an hour or two attending to papers and files. He had no direct dealings with the staff, but would contact the Secretary, if necessary.

The Secretary was one Mr. Rodrigo. He commuted daily by train to office. He was more of a friend than a boss to us. Mr. Rodrigo must have been in his early forties then. He was fair, handsome and full of charm.

Then there was the cashier who sat at an open window facing the Galle Road. The cash transactions with the public were conducted through this window. Mr. Peiris was a stout, elderly man with an oily skin and a formal manner of speech. As everybody in office called him "Hamu" (including the Secretary), I thought he was a genuine Hamu and kept my distance.

On some evenings after work, the peons would gather round the Hamu and butter him up, calling him "Hamu Mahattaya" with the hope of obtaining loans amounting to Rs. 5 or Rs. 10. After about an hour he would oblige, but if the peons failed to repay those loans, on the promised dates, he would berate them mercilessly.

The officer whom I liked best was our Works Inspector, Mr. Michael Fernando. He was a giant of a man with a booming voice and an uproarious sense of humour. He did his inspections in the mornings and came to office in the afternoons.

Till the office closes he would crack jokes, relate funny anecdotes and tease everybody. Before long I had nicknamed him "Kunatuwa" (storm), as he always entered the office like an approaching storm, full of sound and fury!

Life was going on in this peaceful manner when Michael had a brain wave! One morning he summoned me to the Field Officers' room and outlined his plan: "We have decided to play a prank on Hamu.

We will prepare a bogus transfer letter to Hamu as if it came from the LGSC, transferring him to the Haputale U.C. from next month. This letter will be secretly handed over to the Secretary (who is in the game) and he will show it to Hamu, but not hand it over. Hamu is sure to get upset as he is from Galle and has vested interests there.

The chances are that he will beg of the Secretary to use some influence and get it cancelled. The Secretary will demand a treat from Hamu to all the officers if the cancellation takes place! The Hamu is sure to comply."

Only a handful was let in on this secret.

One morning about three days later, the Secretary pushed aside the swing-doors of his room and approached Hamu. There was a letter in his hand.

"I say Hamu you are transferred to the Haputale U.C. from the first of next month," he announced. "Here is the transfer letter," he added, handing it over to him.

"Wha..... What sir? I am transferred", Hamu stammered rising to his feet.

"Yes, read it and see".

Hamu plumped down in his seat and began to read the 'offending' letter. The Secretary was still standing behind him.

After some time he recovered his composure and spoke to the Secretary. "Can you please speak to some high-up in the department and get this cancelled, Sir? This will upset all my plans..."

The Secretary pretended to think awhile and then he said. "O.K. I'll get it cancelled, Hamu. But you must give all of us a treat"

"Agreed, Sir," Hamu replied in formal tones.

"Can I keep the transfer letter, Sir?" asked Hamu.

"No, Hamu, now they don't issue the letter to the officer concerned. Only the head of the local authority is informed," he replied and promptly took back the letter.

The usual procedure followed by the LGSC was to send the original transfer letter to the officer concerned through the head of the local authority and a copy of the transfer letter to the head himself for his information.)

It never occured to Hamu to speak to the Chairman about the transfer. He pinned all his hopes on the Secretary.

About three days later the cancellation letter was produced by the Secretary, soon after the mail came in. He showed it to Hamu saying, "Your transfer has been cancelled, Hamu. Now you must keep your promise"

"By all means, Sir!" said Hamu.

The gullible man promptly sent a peon to the hotel nearby and got down a variety of sweetmeats and tea for all of us!

The total amount spend by Hamu on the treat and other details were noted down by Michael and filed. This file was kept under lock and key.

About one week later the second letter was produced by the Secretary soon after the mail was brought in. This time the "transfer" was to distant Badulla! Hamu nearly wept!

"Why is the LGSC harassing me like this, Sir?" Hamu exclaimed. Even the audits have praised my work."

"Probably it is because they need an excellent cashier like you. That's why they are trying to get you down," the Secretary lied glibly.

Hamu suspected nothing.

The usual entreaties followed, the Secretary agreed to get it cancelled and insisted on a treat for the second time.

The treat was given after the letter of cancellation came, and all particulars of expenses incurred by Hamu were secretly noted down by Michael in the "Hamu's transfers" file. The bogus documents also went into this file.

Now, the success of the pranks depended on two factors. The Chairman had to be kept in the dark regarding the transfers. Secondly, the transfer letters had to be kept out of Hamu's reach.

But subsequently somebody in that office got at the "Hamu's transfers" file (in Michael's absence) and showed it to the Chairman!

The Chairman immediately summoned Michael to his office. The person who showed him the file must have told him that Michael was at the bottom of it. "W.I. why have you transferred Mr. Peiris again and again?" he queried.

"We wanted to have some tea at his expense, Sir," Michael explained.

The chairman who was a sportive man, smiled and said, "O.K. but don't transfer him again, for God's sake !