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DateLine Sunday, 9 December 2007

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Make yourself needed

Vitamins for your Soul by Panchamee Hewavissenti

Punch your thoughts in to [email protected]

Has anyone ever told you " I need you" ? I would love to hear your answer if I were beside you. I really want to hear the word "yes" from you. Because then, you're needed by someone. For now at least only one or two people may need you. But later, the whole community will need you. Society will then say, " we need you".... Do you want others to need you?

To be needed, you don't necessarily have to be a social worker. You don't have to start working in an NGO and to be a full time paid social worker. You don't have to go that far. It's simple than you think, because in this world people claim " nothing is impossible". If that is so, why can't you make your presence felt to society. You have to first believe in yourself.

You can begin by simply extending a minute favour to someone. Do it step by step. Start from one person closest to you in life. I'm not going to ask you who he or she is, without asking you, (don't be amazed), I know which person it is. Don't ask me how I got to know that.

Shall I tell you who it is Who's your best friend, who you're believing in and who you love more than any one else in the world?

It's you...

Yes, it's you. No one else. You may argue with me, " No, it's my loved one, my parents, my siblings, my husband, my wife, so and so forth. But if you look at your inner self, it will tell you, whom you care for, whom you believe in, whom you love more than any one in the world. Doubtless it's you.

Because you always strive for success to fulfil your needs. As I said earlier, you can first serve the one closest to you, that's you. That means you have to take good care of yourself first, including your health, your abilities, your creativity, your career and everything else. Do something to improve your self. If you don't have educational qualification, gear up to be qualified.

The importance of serving yourself means that. If you don't treat yourself properly, you don't treat others. If you don't take good care of yourself, you can never care for another person. If you're not educated, you cannot educate others. That's why I said you have to serve yourself first. It's the most beautiful compensation process of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

Who's next?

Aha, then comes your most loved so and so in your life. In fact, even if you say that so and so always takes priority in your life, it's not so. That person only takes second place in your life. For you, and in your life, you're the first and the best.

Sri Ramakrishna says, " The man who works for others without any selfish motive, really does good to himself". And Micheal De Montaigne said " He who lives not to others, lives little to himself". But my point of view is this " The man who works for himself really does good to others".

Someone might say it's selfish. But it's not. Because in order to serve others you should be able to survive. You should have the power, ability, opportunity. First you should strive to acquire those qualities. You can do that by only serving yourself.

When you have so called strength, power, ability and opportunity , then you're ready to serve others and strong enough to stand on your feet to stand by others.

Another scholar said "If you're good to yourself, you're good to others. If you're good to others you're good to yourself.

Confucius, a great thinker and philosopher of China, said" We can't do our duty to living men as yet, how can we hope to serve the spirits of the dead".

What Confucius meant was that, before serving the unseen, man should serve the visible. Which is equivalent to serve ourselves first, before serving others. That is to say, once you've treated yourself, then you can treat others as Lord Buddha strived to attain enlightenment himself first and then he taught others.

Your service

"Human service is the highest form of self- interest for the person who serves" - Elbert Hubbard. Serving and helping others will definitely give comfort to your mind.

You do like to see the satisfaction in them which comes out in form of a smile between their lips they get from your help, don't you? Don't you like to see the difference in you, your manners, your inner peace by helping others. Someone once said that the act of charity is like perfume. It benefits the user, the seller, and the buyer.

There're numerous psychological benefits you receive from serving others. In Prophet Muhammad's words " O, you, who're threatened by misery, fear and grief, occupy yourself in the betterment of others. Help others in different ways- through charity, hospitality, sympathy and support. And in doing so, you'll find all of the happiness that you desire".

There are numerous ways to serve others. You can give a cheerful smile which can heal a person physically. You can guide a person from wrong path to the correct path, by teaching him good manners, disciplines, rules and regulations of life and so on.

That's why you need the knowledge of every field. You can also offer material assistance to those who are in a need of such things. Your verbal assistance may be very important at times when someone needs a guidance or encouragement.

They can be in need of your precious time and energy as well. Your valuable assistance may be highly appreciated when a person is in need. To be a real friend, as the saying goes "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

"The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy"- Martin Luther King

Leave a footprint

Leave a footprint in the sands of time. Let people talk about your service even after your death. Make it a purpose in life to do some service to others for their well-being. "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal - Albert Picker.

Mahatma Gandhi said "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others". Verily, then people will find you and your importance. You'll be often asked for and needed. But don't expect gratitude.

Serving others is one of your responsibilities. Being grateful for any help you offer is the responsibility of the recipient. Perhaps the person to whom you rendered help may not be grateful to you. As Achaan Chah said "Do everything with a mind that lets go.

Don't expect praise or reward". If you expect gratitude for your help, you may be discouraged to continue your admirable work of helping others. "Serving others not expecting a favour in return is really a noble quality of a man."

Albert Einstine, the great scientist, when he was not busy with his scientific research, always tried to help others, but he rarely was thanked for favours he did. He said in his words "The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.

If we want to feel real joy, lets not think about gratitude or ingratitude and give for only the inner joy of giving".

You can't be selfish

You have to eliminate the negative factor of being selfish in order to serve others. If you're selfish, your mind doesn't let you be generous. To be fair is the first and final commandment for those who would be useful and helpful to others.

Charles Eliot supported that view by saying. "If you think of yourself only, you cannot develop because you're choking the source of developments, which is spiritual expansion through thought for others".

So, start now to do at least a little favour to another person creating goodwill and lifting his spirits. It's also mentioned in the Quran "Whoever saved a life, it will be as if he saved the life of all mankind."

"Sow good services, sweet remembrances will grow from then."

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