Don't your parents like your fiance?
By The Knot
So
you've met The One - you laugh at the same jokes, you love the same
books, and you don't wrangle over the remote. But what if your parents
don't feel the same warm and tingly affection for your sweetheart? Our
advice? Don't get defensive - try these six ideas to bring the most
important people in your life together before the big day.
1. Get the facts
Ask your family members why they disapprove. Open discussion can
defuse a volatile situation, and their reasoning may surprise you.
Perhaps they misunderstood something your future husband said, or
perhaps they've misinterpreted your soon-to-be wife's shyness. Let them
know how much you love your mate and they may try harder to accept him
or her into the extended family.
2. Alter your angle
Remember that your family wants the best for you and be open to the
fact that people in love (and lust!) sometimes choose to ignore their
partner's faults. Have an open mind and be certain your feelings ring
true.
3. Shower them with love
Show your family that you care about them. They may worry that you're
leaving them behind and may feel jealous of your spouse. After all, your
married status may mean you won't make every Christmas gathering.
They'll see less of you and you'll have new priorities. Make sure your
parents and siblings still feel cherished and irreplaceable in your
life, and they may learn to love your spouse.
4. Roll with the punches
Don't take everything your relatives say at face value. Don't harp on
insults made in the heat of the moment. Wait until family members chill
out before asking about stressful moments. They may realize their words
were hurtful and think before they speak next time.
5. Act fast
Don't wait too long to address the issue. If it takes years to broach
the topic with your parents, it may be too late. Once a behaviour
pattern or opinion has been established, it can be difficult to change.
Speak up when issues arise or your resentment (and your spouse's) may
build to such levels that the familial relationship will never be
mended.
6. Stand by your man (Or woman)
Whatever happens, stay committed to your spouse. Ultimately it's the
two of you who will spend your lives together. Present a united (yet
friendly) front, and you'll find the road a lot less bumpy. Good luck!
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