A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."

A man once bought a donkey from a farmer for Rs. 5000. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
The man replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I have already spent it."
The man said, "OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey."
The farmer asked, "What do you plan to do with a dead donkey?" to which he
replied,"I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead
donkey!"
The man said, "Sure I can. Watch me...I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met the man again and asked, "What happened with that
dead donkey?"
The man who bought the dead donkey said, "I raffled him off; sold 500 tickets at
Rs. 500 a piece and made a profit of Rs. 244,500."
The farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain?"
The man said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his Rs. 500 back."

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly." So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

 A fund-raising programme was under way to put up a building for the local school. A meeting was held in this regard and the principal, addressing the gathering, said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building programme. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

A traffic policeman pulled over a drunk driver. The driver mumbled, "Officer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my licence, but can't you remember that you took it away yesterday?"