Oh...it's to chill out your temper
Every parent know that their children are the most precious gifts in
their lives. They treasure them until they are able to stand on their
own. But there are times where mums and dads can not control their
temper due to the non-stop crying of their tiny tot who is yet too small
to 'listen' to his or her parents.
Follwoing are some tips to 'wade off' your anger and to become a cool
mum or a dad. Just try the following:
Take a Time-Out
it works for your kid: By placing your child in a brief time-out (one
minute per year of his age) in a separate room, you'll eliminate a major
reason for why he's flipping out in the first place: to get a rise out
of you. "The vast majority of the time, a child has a temper tantrum to
get attention and control," says Carl Arinoldo, PhD, a child
psychologist and coauthor of Essentials of Smart Parenting. "An actor
doesn't get on stage and play to an empty house." Plus, time by himself
halts the downward emotional spiral, allowing him to regroup more
quickly. Why it works for you: Hiding out behind a closed door for a few
minutes gives you space to chill out. You can even say it's the
punishment for losing your temper. "I tell my kids, 'I'm sorry I yelled
at you. I'm going to my room to take a time-out until I can calm down,'"
explains Katie Baird, a mother of three from Flower Mound, Texas.
"Sometimes they pound the door and try to get in, but more often than
not they think it's really funny that Mommy has to go to time-out."
Whether you're reading, meditating, or surfing the Web, five minutes
alone helps you regain perspective and control.
Have a Tickle-Fest Why it works for your kid
Giggling not only lightens the mood, it provides a physical release
for all that tension - one that doesn't involve kicking and hitting.
When Robin Alexander-Keenan's 3-year-old daughter Megan was starting to
lose it on an 11-hour transatlantic flight, her mom lifted Megan's arms
above her head and then counted her ribs. "By the time we made it to
five she was hysterical and so was I," says Alexander- Keenan, of
Haswell, England. "Now when I get really cross she does the same with
me." Why it works for you: Laughter isn't called the best medicine for
nothing; it's long been known for its ability to reduce stress. In fact,
one recent study showed that even thinking about laughing releases
beta-endorphins, a natural analgesic, into your bloodstream. If playing
Tickle Monster with your little one doesn't crack you up, break out the
knock- knock jokes, or dive into a book by humorist David Sedaris while
your toddler's down for her nap.
Why it works for your kid: Even little kids can be taught to
recognize how their body feels when they're getting worked up - hot,
itchy, stiff, jerky - and can learn to counteract those feelings by
taking a few deep breaths. In a calm moment, show your child how to
pretend he's blowing out the candle on a birthday cupcake; then, the
next time you see him start to get upset, you can use a simple code word
like "candle" to remind him to take a breathing break. Why it works for
you: Dealing with your child's tantrum throws your nervous system into
crisis mode, but slow, deep breathing shuts off those emergency signals.
"If instead of yelling you stop and take a breath, you begin to calm
your body's arousal system," says Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of
Raising Your Spirited Child. "Then you can tell yourself, 'He's not out
to get me. He's upset, but I don't have to be too.'"
Why it works for your kid: For a 1-year-old, an inability to string
the right words together exacerbates his frustration, which is why he'll
resort to biting his big sister instead. But if you offer him words to
describe his feelings, along with a bit of empathy, he'll feel better.
"When I say, 'I know you are upset that it's time to leave' or 'I know
you wanted that toy and you're very angry that Mommy didn't buy it,' I
always see relief wash over my children's faces," says Sachia Logan, a
mother of three from Independence, Missouri. "It's like they're saying,
'Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking!'" Why it works for you: Simply
saying out loud, "I'm really angry right now," validates your feelings
and clarifies that you need to stop engaging with your kids for the
moment. Plus, if you say it only on occasion, it can stop your child in
his tracks. "It can be valuable to let our kids know how we feel, and
how their behaviours are affecting us," Hal Runkel says.
Tap into Your Creative Side
Why it works for your kid: When your child is getting upset, hand her
some crayons and paper so she can draw a picture of how she feels. Even
making just a few angry black scribbles is a healthy way for her to
express her emotions, and it lets her know that you're paying attention
to how she feels. Why it works for you: Getting creative by drawing,
writing, or playing an instrument is the perfect way to vent, and it can
channel the day's frustrations into a more fruitful outlet. Knowing that
she'll spend the evening blogging about her kids' annoying behaviour
tones down Stephanie Elliott's irritation about it for the moment.
"Sometimes I even say it out loud: 'That's a blogger!' And it's almost
like I have to get to the computer immediately to get it out of my
system," says the mother of three from Woodridge, Illinois. Blog bonus:
Readers offer helpful comments and dispense sympathy when you're
Offer a reward
Why it works for your kid: When children are learning to control
their behaviour, an extra incentive doesn't hurt. Throw a marble in a
jar when they manage to head off a tantrum at the pass, with the promise
that 10 marbles earn them a trip to the bowling alley or a movie night
at home. It might make them think twice before they blow their top. Why
it works for you: Everyone loves to be rewarded for good behaviour, so
if you have your own marble jar, it'll give you a tangible way to track
and recognize improved patience. "If you know you've got a problem
blowing up around your kids, and you've started doing deep breathing or
drinking a glass of water to calm down, why not take yourself to the spa
as a reward?" says Linda Pearson, a family nurse practitioner in
Lakewood, Colorado, and author of The Discipline Miracle.
Count to 10
Why it works for your kid: Counting warns your child that his
behaviour is unacceptable without requiring you to launch into a
lecture. Plus, it gives him a set amount of time to transition from one
activity to another, such as from hogging the toy truck to sharing it or
from roughhousing the dog to petting her gently. Why it works for you:
The mantra-like focus you need to slowly count to 10 in the midst of a
battle with your kid enables you to ratchet down your anger a few
notches. And it buys you time. "When your kid's driving you crazy, if
you can just pause before you respond, that's when you can make a great
choice about how to react," Runkel says. Soothing Solution: Lighten Up
Why it works for your kid: Singing a silly sing, talking in a wacky
accent, or pretending you're Cinderella's wicked stepmother is the
parental equivalent of cracking a joke in a tense meeting at work: It
reminds everyone that the situation isn't nearly as dire as it seems.
"Doing something like singing shifts the area of your child's brain
that's functioning, and that can actually calm her," Mary Sheedy
Kurcinka says. "It breaks the tension." Why it works for you: Getting a
little silly forces you to ditch your angry face. "One way I interrupt
meltdowns is by turning on some goofy kid songs, like John Lithgow's
Singin' in the Bathtub CD, and dancing a silly dance," says Vicci Radake,
of Fenton, Missouri, the mother of an 11-month-old. She has also tried
the technique with her daycare kids. "It gives me a burst of energy and
gets the kids to forget what they were even crying about."
Go to your happy place
Why it works for your kid: Children tend to focus on one thing at a
time, so if you can nudge their one-track mind in a more pleasing
direction, they'll forget why they were so upset. When 2-year-old Calvin
Charles is on a crying jag, his mother, Jessie, of Brigham City, Utah,
says, "Let's think about something that makes you happy. What makes you
happy?" As Calvin wails, Jessie offers suggestions, like seeing a kitty,
getting a hug from his baby brother, or eating marshmallows, until one
of them makes him smile and he starts chatting about it. Why it works
for you: Mentally taking yourself some place you love is like meditating
- it calms and centres you.
When household tensions run high, Carri Perry, a mother of five from
Gilbert, Arizona, shuts herself in the bathroom, closes her eyes, and
thinks of the beach. "It's like a 10-minute vacation without the
sunburn, and I emerge refreshed and ready to handle all of their
Even if you can't escape behind a closed door, simply take a deep
breath and envision your favourite place (that cabin in the mountains, a
field of flowers) for 30 seconds to relieve stress.
Keep dengue at bay
prevent the spread of dengue fever, you must first prevent the breeding
of its vector, the Aedes mosquito. The Aedes mosquito is easily
identifiable by its distinctive black and white stripes on their body.
It prefers to breed in clean, stagnant water easily found in our
homes. You can get rid of the Aedes mosquito by frequently checking and
removing stagnant water in your premises.
The guidelines below will give you an overview of how you can prevent
the Aedes mosquito from breeding.
At all times
* Turn pails and watering cans over and store them under shelter.
* Remove water in plant pot plates.
* Clean and scrub the plate thoroughly to remove mosquito eggs. Avoid
the use of plant pot plates, if possible.
* Loosen soil from potted plants to prevent the accumulation of
stagnant water on the surface of the hardened soil.
* Do not block the flow of water in scupper drains along common
corridors in HDB estates.
* Avoid placing potted plants and other paraphernalia over the
* Cover rarely used gully traps. Replace the gully trap with
non-perforated ones and install anti-mosquito valves.
* Cover bamboo pole holders after use. Rainwater can potentially
accumulate in these bamboo pole holders if they are uncovered and create
* No tray or receptacles should be placed beneath and or/ on top of
any air- conditioning unit so as not to create a condition favourable
for mosquito breeding.
Every other day
* Change water in flower vases. Clean and scrub the inner sides of
vases. Wash roots of flowers and plants thoroughly as mosquito eggs can
stick to them easily.
Once a week
* Clear fallen leaves and stagnant water in your scupper drains and
garden. These leaves could collect water or cause blockages to the
drains, thus resulting in the buildup of stagnant water.
* Clear any stagnant water in your air cooler unit.
Once a month
Add prescribed amounts of sand granular insecticide into vases, gully
traps and roof gutters, even if they are dry. v Clear away fallen leaves
in roof gutters and apron drains. If structurally feasible, remove the
Are you homophobic or anti homosexuals?
The term homophobia often is used to denote the irrational and
persistent hatred of homosexuals. Many heterosexuals characterize
homosexuals as being sick and dangerous. Because many people's reactions
to homosexuals have been so extreme, psychologists suspect that these
reactions are phobic-that is, that they are based on a fear beyond the
realm of rational.
from a community's sexual norms often has resulted in punishment for
those persons who so deviate and who are discovered. Homosexuals,
especially males, have been subjected to ridicule, exclusion and
physical abuse over the years. When someone is identified as a
homosexual, people often avoid being near him or her.
When a group is told that a male group member is homosexual, that
individual often becomes one of the least popular members of the
group-even if he had been one of the most popular group members before
being labeled. Further a man who is being labeled as homosexual is
evaluated as being less honest, unfair, unhealthy, unstable and with a
low intellectual ability.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has declassified homosexuality as
a mental illness.
Psychologists have offered a variety of explanations for homophobia.
Sex role training that places a strong emphasis on being either male or
female is one possible-causal factor. Boys learn at an early age, that
displaying feminine characteristics exposes them to ridicule.
Some western countries are less rigid in the rules of sex-appropriate
behaviour and they are less homophobic. Some psychologists believe that
homophobia may have its origins in individual's doubts about their own
sexual preferences. By directing hostility toward homosexuals, an
individual may convince him that he is not homosexual. A heterosexual
who finds that he may have characteristics similar to those of a
homosexual become particularly negative in their evaluations of
People tend to dislike those people who are different and this
dislike can form a basis for prejudice. At times even the slightest
indication that another person is different may be enough to produce
prejudice and discrimination. Why do people have such discriminatory
reactions? One reason is that a dissimilar person can be a threat to
one's self-esteem. The difference in beliefs calls an individual's own
belief into question. Prejudice persists and is expressed if sustaining
mechanisms are present to support and maintain it from one situation to
the next. Without sustaining mechanisms an individual's attitudes and
actions may change as circumstances change.
The persistence of prejudice depends largely on the social support
that the prejudices receive. If expressing prejudices elicits acts of
friendship, then prejudiced attitudes are hard to give up. These
individuals posses highly traditional views about family, women and
religion. Majority of them believes that families should have a dominant
father, a submissive wife, and obedient children, and they often are
fundamentalist in their religious beliefs.
In SriLankan the attitude towards homosexuality is generally
negative. But the magnitude of this 'problem' is seen in school hostels,
training camps, prisons, armed forces, etc. Even with rigid rules and
regulations the prevalence is substantial. Some times in schools in a
homosexual relationship, the dominant partner is regarded as a hero
among other schoolchildren, and they would like to be associated with
the dominant partner specially if he is a popular personality. This
might lead to a situation where homosexuality becomes an accepted
behaviour among some of the students.
Members of men or women's groups that concentrate on problems of
intimacy, communication and friendship have become accepting of