Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment.

"I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks."

Peter said, "But I could be dead by then!"

Receptionist replied, "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment. "

Tom took Bob to the latter's first rugby game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, Tom asked Bob how he liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," he replied, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, Tom asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I mean, come on... it's only twenty-five cents!"

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for Rs. 1000.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"

The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."