Teacher: When you yawn, you are supposed to
put your hand to your mouth.
Pupil: What, and get bitten?

 
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well.
Teacher: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school.

 
Student: I didn't do my homework because
I lost my memory.
Teacher: When did this start?
Student: When did what start?

 
What does the lion say to his friends before they
go out hunting for food?
Let us prey.

 
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
"Pleased to eat you."

 
What happened to the tiger who took a bath
three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.

 
Woman: Doctor, my husband thinks
he's a parachutist.
Doctor: Tell him to drop in and see me.

 
Teacher: You aren't paying attention
to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble
listening.

 
Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there,
what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you
give me?

 
Seeta: Our teacher talks to herself,
does yours?
Geeta: Yes, but she doesn't realise it,
she thinks we're actually listening.

 
Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?
Pupil: I did, I shook my head.
Teacher: You don't expect me to hear
it rattling from here now, do you?

 
Jim: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Tim: Why do you say that?
Jim: Because it starts working the second you
get up in the morning and never stops until
you are asked a question in class.

 
What did the lion say to his cubs
when he taught them to hunt?
"Don't go over the road till you see the
zebra crossing."

 
Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks
I'm mad because I like fish.
Doctor: That's nonsense. I like fish too.
Patient: Really? You must come round
and see my collection.

A photographer for a magazine was assigned to take pictures of a forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" shouted the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures." The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?" ****