Plug it in, plug it in!
There’s a guy from a foreign country and he decided to watch three
commercials and replay them to a random person in the street. So the
first commercial is something to say ‘yes’ too, the second commercial is
a kitchen knife commercial and the third is a glade ‘plug it in, plug it
in’ commercial.
So once they finish he goes out and the random person happens to be a
police officer at a crime scene. And the police officer goes ‘did you
kill this man?’ and the guy goes ‘yes, yes,’ and the police officer goes
‘how?’ and the guy says ‘kitchen knives’ and the police officer says
‘you do know you’ll get the electric chair for this?’ and the guy goes
‘plug it in, plug it in!’
community.livejournal.com
I’m getting a fax!
 Three women, two younger and one senior citizen, were sitting naked
in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The one young woman
pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her
questioningly “That was my pager,” she said. I have a microchip under
the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her
palm to her ear. When she finished she explained “That was my mobile
phone.
I have a microchip in my hand.” The older woman felt very low
tech. Not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as
impressive.
She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She
returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The
others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally
said, “Well, will you look at that... I’m getting a fax!!!”
community.livejournal.com
 The Quiche
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they
read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, “Are you ready
to order?” Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.”
“A quickie?!?”
the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current situation of your personal
life I don’t think that is a good idea. I’ll come back when you are
ready to order from the menu.” She walks away.
Gore leans over to
Clinton and says, “It’s pronounced Quiche.”
truepathfinder.blog.co.uk
 Shut up
There are three guys. One is named Poop, one is named Shut Up and one
is named Manners. They’re driving down the street and Poop decides to
stick his head out the window... and somehow he falls out the window.
So
Manners stops the car to get Poop and Shut Up goes to the police.
The police officer goes ‘What’s your name son?’ and Shut Up goes
‘Shut Up’ and the police officer is like ‘Excuse me?’ and Shut Up goes,
‘Shut Up,’ and the police officer goes ‘Where’s you manners?’ and Shut
up goes, ‘Pickin’ up Poop by the side of the road!’
- community.livejournal.com |
