Itipahan (Burly Lamp) Chapter - 24

By Sumithra RAHUBADDE

(Translated by Ranga Chandrarathne and edited by Indeewara Thilakarathne)

"I am a lamp burning on both ends

Known well that I cannot pass the night

Yet

See my friends

Foes

How powerful light

Burnt

To dispel the darkness"

Soome set out, as usual, wearing her skirt which came below her knees and jacket carrying a bag made of cloth hung from her shoulders. Soome looked at and kissed the child who Duleena was trying to put to sleep holding him by her arms. Soome impatiently waited till Duleena's arrival after tapping rubber. Soome was not afraid as mother was fond of the son as she always fondled the child holding him in her hands. Duleena was confident that mother would look after the child better than she would take care of him. Soome realised that she could not get rid of the idea that, up to now, there was no benefit for confining herself to the home. She was convinced that it was better to lead a life according to her freewill than leading a domestic life that tortured her mind due to confining herself to the four walls at home. She questioned herself on what basis that she should be confined to those four walls while she had commitments to fulfil. Soome thought that she should not even make motherly love a barrier when it comes to discharge her obligations. Motherly love was something else. The institution of family that was strengthened due to motherly love was something else. Soome thought that she should not give up a lot of work she could do by confining to such an institution. It was the opinion of all those who sent her letters and the comrades of the party who visited her. She felt her own repentance during several sleepless nights for not fulfilling her duty by the party and in particular towards the re-building of it which was made up of brothers and sisters like her. The party, built up by terrifying many lives, could not even be defeated after a revolution. The place to occupy is not the confinement within the four walls of this small room.

"Soome, child would cry. It is better if you return early since it is the first time you are leaving the child alone," Duleena mentioned to Soome who was about to set out.

"No, he would not cry. When he is hungry, feed him with milk. By ten, put the child to sleep after a bath. Feed him with milk and then mother can attend to your work," Soome said without taking back the step.

"I don't know, it is better if you can return early," murmured Duleena who was partially heard by Soome as she was leaving home.

"Son, there your mother is going to Colombo?", Duleena murmured to son. The child looked at the granny with a smiling face as if he understood what was said. Duleena could not think of Soome's destination and the purpose of the visit though she knew that Soome was going to Colombo. Although Duleena thought that Soome would settle down after marrying Niyathapala, from their fight she had realised that it had not happened. At times, Soome and Niyathapala fought like cockerels. Later they would laugh as if nothing had happened. Duleena understood that a single brain could not understand their behaviour. She just thought, for a moment that Soome had once again entangled herself in a web of confusion.

Soome, who got into a bus at the junction, recalled the past episodes unfolding like a pageant before her eyes. She thought that unbearable hardships that she had to undergo, would fortify her life. She had gone through those hardships because she had raised her hand on behalf of the tormented masses. At the end, she experienced a mixture of suffering and defeat. However, Soome determined that it was not the nature of men and women like her to accept the defeat as cowards do. On the other hand, defeat was not something that should be accepted just by lamenting. Soome thought that defeat should be a road to victory. Soome heard the conductor of the bus talking loud to the driver. From time to time, the handful of passengers in the bus joined the conversation.

"Oh, nice thing happened to NM who tried to support in anticipation of Ministerial portfolios; it is either Left or Right! There is nothing called Middle. Mathini however, got the maximum mileage from them," the bus conductor said loudly so that everyone in the bus could hear him.

"Kondostara Mahattayo, don't say that. Mathini suffered a lot because of NM joining the party. It was NM who harassed the people by putting bad ideas into Mathini's head. "Soome heard a man, whose hair had partially turned white, and sat on the second seat, said.

"Was there a time like this in which Government advocate people to starve? If we don't have anything, we would starve whether the Government orders or not. If we don't have food, we are starving. But if the Government says that we should not eat rice and curry on certain days, I feel like eating the brains of those who said so," a man who sat on the last row of the bus said.

Everyone began to blame the government as far as they could afford to. the conductor and the driver used foul words to attack the government. By the time Soome got off the bus, the passengers were engaged in a heated argument. Soome, who walked from Wijerama junction towards the university, stopped at the entry to a house to which she should enter in a moment, and she looked around. A couple of houses in the surrounding area looked as abandoned dwellings. Soome rang the bell, after looking by the sides of the house. No one came out of the house. Soome, who tried the bell several times, then knocked the door with some force. Soome heard the footsteps of someone approaching. The person who approached, slowly opened the door ajar and looked at Soome. He wore only a Sarong. The chest was completely naked. He had a gloomy and melancholy appearance of an epileptic patient. There were blackened rings around the sockets of the sunken eyes. He looked at Soome without uttering a word.

"One Ranjith Warnasuriya had asked me to come here," Soome told the man who was looking at her with his observing pair of eyes. The man with raised eye brows let the eye brows fall and sported an uneasy smile.

"What's the name?" the man asked as soon as the smile evaporated from his face.

"My name? Daisy Suzan," Soome replied.

"Come in," Soome stepped in as soon as she heard the words. Soome saw the man who opened the door, raised his hand to close the door before she entered. Soome sat on a dust-stained, musty, green cane chair which emanated an odour. A girl, who came from inside the house looked at Soome and returned to the back of the house. She heard the chatting of a couple of people inside. The smiling face of the woman in the calendar hung on the wall in the living room looked faded due to the gathering of dust. Soome saw a faded sea shell on a Kanappuwa. Soome looked at the man who sat in front of her as he cleared his throat.

"According to information we received, Sister, you are married," inquired the emaciated man like a lawyer before a tribunal extracting a confession from a criminal.

"Yes, I am married and I have a little child," Soome said as if she wanted to know whether there is anything wrong in that.

"It is better that the comrade you married happen to be someone in the army," this time the emaciated man came out with an idea that Soome had not expected. Soome looked at the man with wide-open eyes.

"Getting the support of comrades like him would be beneficial for us in future. Establishing contacts in the Army through husband is up to you, sister," said the man who got up, went inside the house and returned to the living room again. Soome could not understand why he had gone into the house. Someone questioning another person was heard inside the house. It was not clear enough to make out what it was.

"Sister, now you must be in a good state of mind keeping away from other ties, to think about the movement. Defeat is the first step toward the victory. Now, we need to strengthen ourselves further."

The emaciated man revealed a lot of things. She questioned how she could justify her silence when explained the destiny of comrades like Uthtamasinghe and sisters like Mannamperi. Soome understood that more unjust world was born as a result of the revolution launched against injustice. She thought that a tree cannot be cut down just because a branch was broken down. She thought that she should fulfil her duty by the community setting aside all other ties.

"Sister, we have fallen into depth ever before. It should not be forgotten that if we do not unite and work together, we will be responsible for the sin of putting the future generation into darkness. We must all unite to lead the future."

Soome thought that such discussion would have been going on in other rooms. Soome admired the comrade who talked about the movement till the dusk not concerning about food or beverage. After deciding on the next date of the meeting, Soome left with a breath of satisfied air with heart-felt content. She was experiencing the joy of doing something worthwhile after a long time.

Soome saw the darkness of the dust had enveloped the earth when she got off the bus and entered the plot of rubber plantation. Soome walked with the usual laziness though she thought of quickening her pace.

From a distance, Soome heard her child's crying. She was angry with the thought that why her mother could not calm down the child. Instead of quickening her pace, unconsciously her walk became slow. Duleena was walking here and there on the court yard carrying the child singing a lullaby to calm down the crying child. Niyathapala, though crouched on the courtyard went into the house on seeing Soome arriving home.

Soome, who dropped the bag, took the child from the mother. The child became silent without listening to the lullaby. Soome kissed the child's head while stroking its back smoothly.

"Soome, you should not get late to come in this manner leaving behind this little child at home. That child also is very angry," Duleena murmured. Though Soome spoke nothing, she understood that she was angry. Duleena, who took the Soome's dropped bag, went into the house from the kitchen's entrance.

"Have you been on picnicking, leaving the child behind?", furious Niyathapala burst out stepping out on to the court yard. Soome thought that the fire in Niyathapala's eyes would burst out and engulf her.

"Who went on picnicking?", she murmured.

"Who else, it is you. Soome, I will say something," Niyathapala came up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder which Soome tolerated with suppressed anger.

"If you try to join them again, I will dash the child on the ground and shoot myself. If you like to see that you could join them," said Niyathapala releasing Soome's shoulder. Soome scurried to and from in the courtyard, fondling the child. Soome, came inside when she heard Duleena shouting: "Come inside otherwise the mosquitoes will bite the child." Soome went into the house carrying the child on hearing Duleena's cry.

Niyathapala scurried from and to in the courtyard. Like robbing the skin colour of Niyathapala, the darkness that spread around the house became intense. Thereafter, no one could see Niyathapala scurrying from and to in the courtyard. By the time Duleena put the bottled lamp in the room, Soome was lying on the bed crawling with the child.

"Really, you still could not go astray even when that wretched fellow was in prison," asked Niyathapala who came inside and emptied the jug of water on the table into the throat.

"Soome, I must tell you a thing; would you worry more about me or this child or about those Cheguvera fellows in the prison?," asked Niyathapala sitting on the edge of the bed. Soome put a sheet on the sleeping child and got up from the bed. She thought that she should not make Niyathapala angry further by creating unnecessary troubles. As the comrade who met in Wijerama had mentioned, now Niyathapala should be converted to the party. Therefore, she should follow from the beginning a friendly attitude towards him rather than a foe-like attitude.

"Niyathe, you have got angry for nothing. You know that I love both you and the child. I wanted to tell you something at leisure. But I will tell it now because you are angry," said Soome shutting down the window which allowed unfettered access to mosquitoes. The feeble light of the bottled lamp became little brighter. Niyathapala said nothing.

"Niyathe, it is true that I had been imprisoned. Was it only me? How many of those like me were in prison? How many were killed? How many were unaccounted for? Niyathe, is that all? Don't you understand that the entire country is in darkness? Think about your salary. Not for a big family but even for three of us could not properly dress and feed with us with your income? Those who have will eat and drink. They waste yards of cloth dress scantly not to cover nakedness. They are fat like pigs by eating a lot. How hard for us to have rice and curry with a Sambol or curry of dried fish?" asked Soome sitting near Niyathapala as if expecting a response from him. Niyathapala looked at Soome from his mind with closed eyes. Soome spoke about real issues. But it seemed that she had forgotten all the hardships that she endured during her time at prison. He could not tell anything against her because of her manner of speech.

"Soome, why don't you understand how you are about to ruin your life? How you were imprisoned? On the other hand, who looked after your well-being? Forget about all these nonsense, let us bother about ourselves?" said Niyathapala holding Soome's shoulders. Soome stretched the hands and embraced Niyathapala's wide shoulders. Soome who dip her head on Niyathapala's wide shoulders remained there for a long time. She saw thousands of stars with multicoloured rays mesmerising her in that darkness with her eyes closed. While dipping her head in Niyathapala's shoulders, she thought whether to get rid of the reality that merged her mind's eye and eye of flesh with her own hands allowing that hypnotic set of waves. She felt Niyathapala stroked her head, neck and the back. Though such warmth would get rid of the woes of life for a moment, Soome thought that should she endure in numerous hardships enticed by that warmth while watching the different lights dancing before her eyes. Soome tried to recall the enormous hardships that she, Niyathapala, her mother and all others of her class have to endure to live. Niyathapala did not try to break that silence. With her eyes closed, Soome thought a lot of things about her mother, Duleena. Soome thought that her mother had no understanding of her sad life. Mother also did not know that poor were suffering and there was anything called suffering. Soome thought that her mother lack intelligence to understand darkness surrounding her life because of poverty.

"Niyathe, if we try to run away because we made a mistake once, we will have to live like cats and dogs and, could we be selfish enough only to look after us? Should we be born as human beings if we have to live like cats and dogs? "asked Soome taking her head away from Niyathapala's shoulders and looked at Niyathapala's eyes which were sparkling like spots of fire. Though Soome and Niyathapala heard Duleena fondling the child by saying something, ignoring that lullaby, they heard the whistling cold wind sweeping through the plot of rubber.

"You want to ruin yourself. Again?' Niyathapala murmured.

"Not to ruin but to get away from it," said Soome dipping her head again in Niyathapala's shoulders. Soome heard her husband's deep sigh.

"Niyathe, if we join, we could do a lot of things. Now, we have a very good plan. You also must join. Comrades say they need your strength. Darling, Listen to me, how much we can do with the bullets given to your hand against us. Think about it," Soome said kissing her husband's forehead. Niyathapala stroke Soome's cheeks with both hands and kissed her head.

Kondostara Mahattayo - Addressing the bus conductor as 'Mr Conductor'.

Kanappuwa - Sinhala word for small table