Itipahan (Burly Lamp) Chapter - 25

By Sumithra RAHUBADDE

(Translated by Ranga Chandrarathne and edited by Indeewara Thilakarathne)

"I am a lamp burning on both ends

Known well that I cannot pass the night

Yet

See my friends

Foes

How powerful light

Burnt

To dispel the darkness"

On hearing that Sriyadari Akka and Sirinatha had come to see Nanawathi Hamine as she was ill, Soome thought that she should see them. Although Soome knew about Sirinatha's wedding that was held in a hotel, she had made up her mind that there was no need to find more information about it. Ali Ralahami's, Kandegedara Vedamahattaya, and Notharis Ralahamy were the only invitees of the wedding held at the hotel. Though Soome had the desire to find out who Sirinatha's wife was, she suppressed it. Soome thought why she should hurt her feelings by seeing her.

"Puthe, Sirinatha Mahattaya has received a large dowry. Wife is also a seedevi girl and has a job too," mother said as she was untying her outer chintz when she came home. She had seen Sirinatha's wife for the first time, on that day. Though Soome had so many questions to ask, she controlled her mind which tried to wander into the past. Soome thought that not only Sirinatha but also his wife as those who should not be allowed to enter the boundaries of her life. The shattered and dispersed soft fabric of cotton of history cannot be mended. Soome saw in her mind's eye Sirinatha as a clown who brought in her wife wrapping her with an expensive soft fabric of cotton instead of that shattered and broken sheet of history.

"What is the use whether Sirinatha's wife is a seedevi person or not? We should look after our own business," Soome said unhappily.

"Sriyadari Nona wanted you to come over... she would like to see you," said Duleena while having a cup of tea. Soome looked at Mother with a jolt. Duleena could not understand whether it was due to anger or any other impulse.

"If she wants to see me, she should come and see me. I don't go because I don't have a great desire," Soome who bent down her head for a moment, said. Duleena went away without uttering anything. Sriyadari Nona always sent her a message when she wanted to see Soome and it was not her habit to visit Soome. Duleena felt sad that Soome was expecting them to visit her changing that old habit, and it would not change today. Duleena thought of Sirinatha Punchi Mahattaya. Since their childhood, Sirinatha Punchi Mahattaya played with Soome. Duleena could remember when they became teenagers the duo were intimate friends. At the time, she thought that one day that they would marry. It was only Punchi Mahattaya who knew what was in his mind. Duleena sadly thought that the only obstacle for such a union was their poverty and Soome was an illegitimate child. She sighed, thinking that the girl would have had a brighter future, had she been sent to Mr. Paxton's country.

Sirinatha stepped onto the courtyard on the way to the well nearby. Sirinatha, who desired to see Soome and pretended to have a bath from the well and cleared his throat while carrying a pail and a towel in his hand. Soome, who used to hear that clearing of the throat a long time ago, identified the sound and approached the courtyard gradually, carrying the child tucked on her shoulders. Sirinatha looked at Soome and smiled. Sirinatha forgot his words seeing the shining golden-colour complexion of Soome. Sirinatha felt a sharp twinge running through his body thinking that he had abandoned her who coyly spoke tender words close to each other during their youth. He thought for all these years, had he been gathering excuses for why he had given her up. Sirinatha recalled that he had thought then, that how could a woman who does not know how to boil yams, could boil a pot of rice. Was it not to evade her that he gathered information thinking that Soome would not make a good wife because of the manner she was brought up by Duleena? Sirinatha did not know for sure whether Priyantha whom he married knew how to cook yam or boil a pot of rice and make a curry out of Kehelmuwa. Such needs would not arise for Priyantha and Sirinatha as they lived in the city. Neither he nor Priyantha had time to enquire about the rice and curries and meat and fish cooked by the servant girl. They only used the rice that aunty got Duleena to boil, prepare and sent to their kitchen.

"It looks as Sirinatha Mahattaya is going to have a bath?" asked Soome with a smile as she patted the child's back.

"Why have you added the word 'Mahattaya'? Sirinatha asked leaning against a coconut tree. He realised that Soome, definitely, had used that word to hurt him.

"Anything else is not correct for addressing Mahatturu other than Mahattaya," said Soome giving a piercing glance at Sirinatha. She thought that Sirinatha had put on a little weight. The rather propped up cheeks had further sharpened that chubby look.

"But Soome, you have never addressed me 'Mahattaya'," said Sirinatha patting Soome's child's head.

"Mahattaya, that was my mistake, not addressing Mahattaya who should have been treated as Mahattaya," said Soome with a smile. Duleena, who came, on hearing someone was speaking with Soome, looked at the courtyard. Duleena, who saw Sirinatha Punchi Mahattaya speaking with Soome, looked on them for a moment and went inside the kitchen.

"Soome... you are still beautiful," Sirinatha murmured as if he did not hear anything that Soome uttered. Sirinatha thought that she was beautiful than ever before. Her body was thin. The sublime beauty when she read the alphabet of youth had still not withered away from her. He thought, however, her mind had become rigid than before.

"Sirinatha Mahattmaya, I don't know about my beauty but my heart is still beautiful as in the past," said Soome while smiling in a matured manner.

"You are passing hints," said Sirinatha while taking up the pail off the ground. Soome thought that there was sadness in that tone. Sirinatha tried to smile attempting to maintain his self-control. He understood from Soome's behaviour that she was burning from inside. She would have been burning from that impulse for a long time. Now, she had the ability in some way to release that urge before him or throw that at him. "I am going," Sirinatha said as he thought it was not right to argue with her since her feelings were hurt.

"Why didn't your wife come with you?" Soome asked Srinatha who was walking past her. Sirinatha stopped again on hearing that.

"She came. I didn't bring her because I want to see Soome. But Soome, you are confronting me," Sirinatha said. This time, Sirinatha noticed a sarcastic smile on her face. He thought she had a lot of reasons to smile sarcastically. Since humour had worked in her mind, instead of hatred, he had still space to talk to her.

"Sirinatha, have you got children yet?" Soome asked indifferently.

"Soome, there is one to be born," said Sirinatha. "Has Niyathapala gone to work?" he asked the next question to divert the discussion.

"The questions I ask Sirinatha and Sirinatha asking me are meaningless. Now you had better go and have a bath," Soome said unexpectedly. Sirinatha took the pail and walked silently towards the well. Soome with smiling eyes looked at Sirinatha who was walking towards the well. Soome thought that Sirinatha was a hard-working and handsome youth as in the past. Soome went into the living room carrying the child, thinking that Sirinatha was not a person about whom she should think and torment her mind further. Soome, who came into the house, felt some uneasiness invading her body. She thought that tiredness and dull nature was unbearable. She thought that the child should be given to mother and she should lie down for a while. The entire day was spent with that tiredness.

"It looks as if there is another child," Soome said when Niyathapala arrived in the night. Niyathapala heard it as Soome's nagging. A couple of months ago, Niyathapala had thought that it was better Soome bear another child. Niyathapala thought that if she was to be kept at home as a woman, she should be made pregnant for a couple of more years. If not, it would make troubles or invite more. When pregnant, she could be detained in the house for years. When another child was born, there would be financial problems. It is hard thinking how to raise another child as it is hard to buy powdered milk for the child.

"Didn't you hear what I told you? Another child had conceived. I want to be free in this samsara," Soome said with a loud voice, addressing Niyathapala who was silent. Niyathapala removed the shirt soaked with sweat and threw it onto the chair. He looked at the kitchen on hearing Duleena coughing. As he heard her coughing for a couple of days, Niyathapala was scared that the child would be infected. The child spent most of the time in her hand.

"Soome, why Mother wouldn't boil some Inguru and Kottamalli and drink? The woman who tucked the child in her hip should think about it? Soome, at least you should boil some Kottamalli for mother? Duleena was a woman who did not take any medicine for sickness. Niyathapala knew that Duleena who toiled from morning to evening like a bull could not get rid of that habit easily.

"I did not talk about Mother's cough; I told you that I got pregnant again. What is it for you? You go to job, come in the night and sleep. That's all? Can I bear children everyday? To suffer like this and to suffer more endlessly?" asked Soome placing her head on the bed-rest.

"Women are there to bear children," said Niyathapala who sat on the bed, untying the shoes. Soome was petrified with rage. She wanted to take Niyathapala by shoulders and shout out from her inner throat. But Niyathapala is not a person who yielded. She could not afford to be beaten up with Niyathapala's iron-like hands and legs. However, furious Soome shouted out.

"Oh devil, thunder should strike on this man's mouth. Then women are there to bear children. It is better to know that I am not ready to keep on bearing children. I know why you want me to be a child-bearing machine. I cannot wait confined to this house like a jester," said Soome. "Are you coughing to die?" scolded Duleena. She listened to everything. She consoled herself thinking that it was nothing but Soome's nature. Soome was angry because Niyathapala had got her angry. The child started crying loudly on hearing the commotion. Duleena was afraid to take the child who was entering the room. Soome also did not take the child into her hand. After a while the child's cry settled without attracting anyone's attention.

"How could the woman who does not like to bear a child, do any other work? That's woman's duty! Women would get stranded when tried to engage in other nonsense forgetting their duty," Niyathapala said in a loud tone also to be heard by Duleena.

"Going astray is better than suffering in this manner. Do you think that women's duty is to bear children? There may be foolish women who bear children like making hoppers...but I cannot do that," said Soome, rapidly breathing and sat on the bed.

"Take that child. What happened to you is that old woman had destroyed you by doing all what you demanded. Your mother went astray well before she became a maiden. Was it a lie what Chulasoma conductor said the other day? I married you not because I had not seen a woman. There are a lot of women out there for us who wear uniforms? I sympathised with you that you were a wretched woman," Niyathapala thundered. Before he uttered anything, Soome pounced on Niyathapala, holding his shoulders, and shouted out as loud as she could like a frenzied woman. Niyathapala saw Soome's veins around the neck had been accentuated with that shriek.

"Not only mother, I also went astray before becoming a maiden. Besides, do you know who the father of this child is? There is freedom for all those erotic dances in hiding by Haminela and Appuhamilas. Poor women like us don't have such a freedom. If I want to dance like them, I am not afraid to do so with or without freedom," shouted Soome and began to cry loudly. Niyathapala understood that it was overwhelming anger in that cry rather than sadness. Duleena was listening to everything from the kitchen but she was afraid to intervene. Duleena was scared that she would die of a cardiac arrest when she saw Soome was crying frenzied with anger. Duleena thought from whom her son-in-law had learnt that she had gone astray before becoming a maiden. She hadn't come of age even after she became the wife of Heenappu. She was the only person who knew that. The only thing she got from Heenappu was this coconut-thatched shelter. Duleena thought during the past or even today she had no intention of revealing that secret to the rest of the world. Duleena recalled her youthfulness that had made even Mr. Paxton surprised when she went to Jaffna. Before she became a maiden, she learnt to tolerate these diabolical lies and innuendos. She took a deep breath thinking that she had to listen to things that she should not hear at this age. Kumatheris Aiyya encroached her life unexpectedly. Duleena thought what was wrong when a lonely woman seeks protection from a male. She thought that a male would approach a woman expecting only one thing. However, woman's mind is not like that. A woman prefers to crawl like a cat anticipating warmth from a man. Though women like her think that the man who loves genuinely should protect her in return, but things would not turn out in that manner. Kumatheris Aiyya was someone else's man. Duleena knew that strangeness remained intact in his heart throughout their association. Duleena thought when she realised that it was folly to expect true love and warmth from someone else's man, she had turned too old. What Kumatheris Aiyya did was to visit her whenever he needed her and went away after fulfilling his needs. She always had to toil hard to feed herself and the girl. Kumatheris Aiyya did not look after them and or enquired whether they had meals or clothes to wear. Kumatheris Aiyya only came in the night and sat on the bed and abused her youth, unsettling her mind but did not give her true love, romance or protection. Men are not aware that women expect those things. Ever since she returned to the village carrying the girl, none of the villagers had true love for her but only tried to abuse her lonely youth. She only expected true love from a man and not to sell out womanhood. Men wanted only the womanhood. Now, that her daughter's husband and her own son-in-law had started to dig into the dirty rubbles of her past. Duleena was sad that the girl had, once again got pregnant. She doubted whether her daughter could cope with such enormous hardships that she had to endure. Her son-in-law also not seemed to be well off. Though he said, at first, that he was a high ranking officer, she thought he should be holding a lower ranking position, looking at the poverty prevailed at home. She thought it was of no use if the couple were living happily.

Footnotes:

Seedevi - The Sinhala word to describe those people who bring good luck. Sometimes the word is also a substitute to places or home.

Kehelmuwa - The flower bud of banana tree

Mahattaya - The Sinhala word meaning gentleman

Inguru and Kottamalli - Ginger and coriander

Haminela and Appuhamilas - The Sinhala words for ladies and those men holding high positions in society.