Mentors and ‘monster mentors’
by Nadira Gunatilleke
“Ohhhh....I am sick of all this
advice! How can I follow them? There is nothing wrong in my life/work.
So why is that `Chaminda’ and `Wasanthi’ preaching me daily? How can I
do the things they want me to do. My head is spinning. Why? Why? Why? Oh
God help me to find my way!”
 Is this your own experience? May be, this is the experience of your
best friends! No matter what it is. This is a very common thought which
runs in every youth’s mind very often. Almost every youth think like
this at least once a week! After 13 years... certain things still
reminds me of my own experience! We are going to talk about mentors and
`mentors’. I am sure you have already met both types... may be many of
them during your day to day life. You are so... confused right?
So what should you do ? Identify mentors and `mentors’ very clearly.
Worship mentors and their preaching. Get rid of `mentors’(monsters) from
your life (if it is possible) or treat them as dead/dirt! It is simple
as that. I met the first mentor of my life when I was in grade four. She
was my Sinhala teacher and the school principal.
I was the weakest child in studies, sports and everything. She made
me one of the five brightest students in grade four and grade five. Her
own daughter is one of the five. But she did not want her to be the
best. She wanted me to become the best. I still worship her in my
thoughts. I met the second mentor when I was doing my A/L. She made me
one of the senior prefects in school and one of the handful of students
who got selected to the university ! She was my political science
teacher and my class teacher. Her genuine love and care made me strong.
You may not believe.... I met my first `mentor’ when I was in grade 3
! She was my maths teacher and the class teacher. When I entered grade
3, I was very good at Maths and always scored over 90 marks for the
Maths paper. When I left grade 3, I only scored 65 marks and I was not
among the ten brightest students ! I met my second `mentor’ when I was
in grade 10 doing my O/L ! My father passed away in the same year just
before the exam.
This `mentor’ destroyed the small amount of mental strength left in
me after the death of my father and pushed me to the threshold of the
end of my education! I met many other mentors and `mentors’ since then
and still meeting such persons in my day to day life! But today I stand
high with post graduate qualifications because of my mentors! I must
thank my ‘mentors’ for making me stronger!
 So...here comes the mentor. “Putha...... (even when you are a girl!)
you are fantastic! Your work is wonderful. Keep it up. You can do it.
You have already proved that you can. You don’t have a challenge. Don’t
look at others. Just continue till you win. Your creation is unique! I
have never seen such a creative write-up! You can improve if you add
.....and cut off........ You should do it if you like.....because it is
yours, not mine.....I am proud of you. The mentor only talks to you in
private. He/she praises you in public and advise you in private. Worship
him/her. You will become more talented and creative.
Here comes the `Mentor’(Monster)! Be careful. Take a very good look!
“See I am telling this to you for your own good and improvement (he/she
is addressing the gathering while talking to you!). You have many things
to learn. Don’t think that you know everything.
You have to take my advice. It takes years to improve. You have just
come into this field. I am telling this to you through my own
experience......you should not have done it that way.....see this is a
very weak creation. You will do it better once you learn......These are
just sick `uncles’ and `aunts’ who hate you just because they cannot
return to your age and you are more talented than they are and doing
much better than them ! They hate you because you are challenging their
existence! |
