Dear ERICA

Dear Erica,

I’m in a relationship for six years and truly can say that I am deeply in love. I don’t have a doubt about my boyfriend’s love but the only hitch is that our horoscopes don’t match. It goes far to the extent of predicting that if we get married, we’ll get bankrupt and one of us will die. My boy friend does not care about this because he is stable and has a good job. I, on the other hand, am not employed and also not well educated. These are the things that frustrate me. Please give me a solution.

-Lovelorn

Dear Lovelorn,

You both have been involved in this relationship for a long time and love each other very much. I believe that it’s up to you to decide if your faith in love is stronger than a horoscope prediction. I can understand that you have great fear about what your future will be like if your horoscopes prove to be accurate. People do have different opinions about horoscopes as some believe them and some don’t. In both cases, most people have led or are leading successful lives. In another aspect, if you believe everything that your horoscope says, your fear itself may cause more harm.

I think a relationship can become successful if there’s love, respect and compatibility. Love is all about overcoming shortcomings and being supportive towards each other. If you’re confident and strong enough, you can overcome these obstacles. But if you’re still upset about your horoscope then consult a good astrologer and see if you can get some remedial measures done against these negative aspects.

Don’t get frustrated just because you’re not educated. Education necessarily does not mean going to a university and having a degree. Make a list of skills that you possess. Find out what you would like to do. If you have some kind of financial backing maybe you can follow a course and develop yourself in that particular field. Stop worrying, believe in your love, believe in yourself and believe that God will guide you through your life.

All the best to you!

Dear Erica,

I am a 21 year old guy doing higher studies. I seem to be having constant problems with my girlfriend. We have been dating from 2008 and I have always made her my priority. But sometimes she doesn’t care about me.

I asked her why and she said that she’s busy or that she has lots to do. Her parents have been abroad for the past 10 years. Last week she went abroad for a job but she didn’t even give me a phone call! I fear that she will leave me and forget our love. I love her very much and can’t live without her. What can I do? Please help.

-Deeply in love

Dear Deeply in love,

A relationship can have problems but the relationship itself cannot be a problem. In a relationship, both parties should be willing to give it life, time and space. If you feel that your girlfriend has been giving you excuses whenever you needed her, if she has not been caring enough for you and at the end just left you and went for work to a country where her parents have been living for 10 years, I think you should reconsider this affair.

Maybe your girlfriend is not ready to commit herself, or maybe she wants to put her goals before your relationship, or maybe she needs time because she’s not sure of how she feels towards you. Anyway, you have to accept that there are chances that this affair may or may not work out for both of you.

You’re young but even though she broke your heart, you have to understand that one day when you look back on your life and agree that certain things happened for a reason. Try concentrating on your studies. If you truly love her set her free. If she’s yours she’ll come back to you! If not better things are in store for you!

I’m a 15 year old girl who suffers at home. I have been put down by my Mom and she always takes my brother’s side and blames most of the problems on me. Should I ignore this? Please help.

-Sad girl

Dear Sad girl,

I’ve read that scientific research shows that children of one gender are always close to the parent of the opposite gender. The term ‘Mama’s boy’ or ‘Daddy’s girl’ is used in this context.

Accordingly, in an environment where the children are of either gender, the daughter may feel deprived of her mother’s attention while the son gets it all. It maybe the same with sons with their fathers! No matter what, mothers will always be mothers! At the initial stages of childhood, one’s mother will be everything to her daughter including being her role model itself.

Gradually, when adolescence set in the relationship, there are a few strains among most mothers and daughters. This could be possibly because their expectations are high and they kind of tend to prepare their daughters for the hard life ahead or maybe had bad experiences of their own.

This may of course be a very difficult and frustrating period for a teenage daughter since she herself is undergoing a lot of internal as well as external change in her life. Anyhow, most mother-daughter relationships are becoming very open in present times. First of all, try communicating with your mother. Most problems tend to get worse because of the communication gap. Find out if she has any fears regarding your future or if she’s simply trying to guide you through life.

Try expressing your true feelings and find out why all problems are blamed on you! As for your brother, sibling rivalry is always normal and once in awhile there are fights, jealousies, the blame games that get in your way! But things will start to settle down as you both grow up but don’t grow apart.

Start today and find ways in which you can improve your relationship with both of them and see how it goes. Be happy and Erica is just an email away if you need any help!

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