Itipahan (Burly Lamp) Chapter - 33

By Sumithra RAHUBADDE

(Translated by Ranga Chandrarathne and edited by Indeewara Thilakarathne)

"I am a lamp burning on both ends

Known well that I cannot pass the night

Yet

See my friends

Foes

How powerful light

Burnt

To dispel the darkness"

Soome who climbed up the flight of steps, stopped at the third floor. Soome walked a little on the floor covered with a carpet, looked around. She thought there was a mystic air in the environment. Soome saw non-flowering plants in the pots put up at intervals. She thought that the plants which would be thought to be cared well for by someone had eaten up a lot of fertilizer. Her lips opened up at the thought of what was the use of plants which bore no flowers. The rooms on either side of the corridor were closed. She was sure that she had not gone astray. A youngster in white was approaching.

"Whom are you searching for ", he sternly asked.

"Which is Mr. Sirinatha Amarawardene's room?" Soome asked the youngster.

"At the far-end room!" said the youngster and he did not look back on Soome again. But the youth who went up to the far-end room asked "Shall I say who has come? ", looking at Soome.

"Tell Soome has come from the village", said she and paused near the room. When summoned by Sirinatha, Soome entered the room. Sirinatha got up on seeing Soome. Soome sat in front of Sirinatha surveying his luxurious office. Sirinatha was amazed at how Soome had found out his office. He saw the residual youthful pleasantness on her face albeit her body was emaciated. Sirinatha thought that his wife would not wear the garment that Soome clad, even at home. Her hair was dishevelled. Soome, who wiped the drops of sweat on her face with a faded-colour handkerchief, smiled with Sirinatha.

"You are lucky" Soome said and Sirinatha smiled.

"Sirinatha, now letters are over, don't search for money to give me Rs. 30 or 40 to send me off. Sirinatha, I came here not to ask for money. Sirinatha I want to talk with you. During the past couple of days, I thought of not coming here. At last, I thought that I should talk with you to console myself," said Soome, wiping her face and the neck again with the handkerchief.

"Soome, are you hungry? Shall I order you a parcel of rice and curry?" Sirinatha said as if he had not heard Soome.

"Sirinatha, I did not come here for meals because I am hungry. I will not come for that. I came to talk with you", Soome said. At that moment, Sirinatha understood that Soome did not mince her words now as she did in the past. Sirinatha together with Soome sat on an easy and long chair. She had come to relieve of issues from which she had been suffering throughout the life before him and to take off that burden from the mind. Therefore, Sirinatha thought that it was his duty to listen to her.

"I am sad about Niyathapala's death. He was as strong as a stone. What is to be done? Things happened as they had destined to be ", Sirinatha said as Soome remained.

"Sirinatha, you would not say so if you had heard how Niyathapala scolded me in raw filth. At that time, I thought of giving him a drop of acid", Soome said. Sirinatha thought that Soome had come to relieve her mind of long-drawn out troubles. He saw a faint glimpse of excitement emerging from her face overcoming fatigue.

"Soome, don't tell these things to anybody else ", Sirinatha warned. Soome glanced at Sirinatha and faintly smiled.

"I felt extremely lonely after his death. I considered him as the man in the house although we fought bitterly. Sirinatha, but the sense of relief that came to me when I heard that Niyathapala had died was more than what I felt after releasing from the prison. I thought all the hardship I endured was over", said Soome. "I want a little bit of water," she said. On Sirinatha's order, in a few seconds a youth appeared with a glass of water. Soome emptied it in one go.

"Then, Soome had never been in peace with Niyathapala? ", Sirinatha asked. Soome thought Sirinatha was raising questions with the intention of examining her life.

"Sirinatha, there was nothing wrong with Niyathapala. He was always faithful to me. But I could not reconcile myself. Therefore, I always compared Niyathapala with someone else. I knew that was an offence. But I committed it knowing well that it was wrong to do so", said Soome immediately and looked at Sirinatha who was looking down. Sirinatha did not question her. Soome began to unfold the pages of a magazine on a nearby stool with a sense of indifference. The youth put two cups of tea and a plate of sweets.

"Eat", Sirinatha said pushing the plate of sweet towards Soome. Soome took a piece of muscat.

"Sirinatha, Niyathapala had an amazing strength. This man spoke before us as strong as a rock after swallowing acid. He walked half a mile to the bus halt before going to the hospital. Even there he waited a long time for the bus. He went to the hospital after a long time. We could not find a taxi!" Soome sighed.

"He was a man of amazing strength", said Soome looking at Sirinatha who was listening to her. Soome could not understand as to why he remained silent. Was Sirinatha thinking that all this happened because of him? Soome thought though she had tried to compare Niyathapala with Sirinatha throughout her life, the two men were incomparable. Thereafter, she thought that Sirinatha was more handsome than ever before. He had the look of a contented and prosperous man. Sirinatha, who chased after her in childhood and who she thought was in love with her as a youth had now become a completely different person. The tie on his neck had given him a proud look.

She noticed that he had combed his hair differently. His disposition was also changed. At last she regretted that her subconscious compelled her to talk to Sirinatha who had undergone such a change.

"Have you applied for Niyathapala's pension?" Sirinatha raised a question.

"Comrades help to get it done. It is a little cumbersome as documents are in disarray", Soome said. "How about you?" she asked Sirinatha.

"Not bad", Sirinatha said.

"Sirinatha, how could you get wrong? When married from a well-to-do family, such people would be successful. ", said Soome, sipping the cup of tea. Sirinatha felt that he developed an unbearable pang for Soome. Sirinatha wanted to hug her. He thought of her beautiful face amidst all the sufferings. Although she used rough words he liked to talk with her for a long time. Sirinatha contemplated as to why Soome had visited him after Niyathapala's death.

"Don't misunderstand me. Don't think that I came to you for something foul. I wanted to tell this and to relieve my mind. Though I was happy at Niyathapala's death, I am always reminded how this poor man helped me when everyone left me", said Soome wiping a drop of tear. Sirinatha thought if he had not strengthened the fence around his mind to release the load of romantic memories about his beloved Soome, both of them would fall into an abyss. He could only chase her away from his life after thinking a lot about it. Even now he could not think whether he had emerged victorious following that extremely difficult runaway in the youth.

"I am going. Sirinatha, don't take them into your head. Now, forget about it", said Soome and got up.

"Soome, you may be having financial difficulties? ", Sirinatha asked as he got a clue to Soome's thinking with regard to his giving her money at first.

"Sirinatha, I don't want your money though I have financial problems. I did not come for money", said Soome. "I am going", said she. Sirinatha followed her.

"Soome, tell me if you have any problem. I will try to help you. Try to look after the two children well. There is nothing wrong in thinking of marriage again as Soome, you are still young. ", Sirinatha murmured. Soome sarcastically smiled.

"Sirinatha, why are you wearing spectacles? Don't you see well", Soome said as if she had suddenly reminded of something.

"Weak eye sight", Sirinatha said removing the spectacles.

"Sirinatha, how could you have weak eye sight? Sirinatha, you can see even in mind if not with eyes", said Soome, leaving Sirinatha again.

"Daisy work little more then, you will be able to forget a lot", Subha Siriwardena said as she saw Daisy was engrossed in thinking.

"Haven't I got things to be thought about? But I won't think about them. I feel such a horrible isolation. At times, I thought of shrieking out. To yell out my sadness" , Daisy said Subha looking directly at her eyes.

"Daisy, don't think about a lot of things. Try to get close to someone. Try to love someone. Then most of the problems would be over ", Subha said in her usual carefree manner.

"I don't want to love anyone. Since I haven't got anyone to love, why should I love someone else. ", Soome asked in a most melancholy tone. Subha Siriwardena, for a moment, dumbfounded before that melancholy mood.

"Daisy listens to me. If you want love, you must love. If you are not used to loving, you are also not being loved. Daisy, this entire life is a transaction", said Subha, laughing while toying with a bunch of keys in her hand. After Soome returned home Praneeth came.

"Son you must learn well", Soome said. Praneeth sat on the camp bed.

"Let me see, son, your report", Praneeth took the report that Soome's elder son brought in. Soome tied up the dishevelled hair into a mess.

"Son, you have scored a lot of marks. You did very well. I will bring you a prize when I come next", said Praneeth, patting on her elder son. The elder son smiled with gratitude after a long time, thinking that there was someone to look after him.

"Daisy, you should be intimate with the children. When you distance in this manner, you would not be able to control later. You should be very careful in dealing with children", Praneeth explained Daisy in extremely kind tone.

"Praneeth, I fulfil my share of duty to the children. That man put down his cross. I have still to bear my cross," said Daisy looking at Praneeth as if to relieve her burden in mind.

"Who was that man?" she sarcastically smiled at Praneeth's question. "That man was my husband", she said in a pitched tone.

Though Praneeth tried to play with the younger son, he ran to the grandmother.

"You should bring up two children well", Praneeth said looking at the children.

"They will grow. Take it aside Praneeth. I am worried about what this Wijeweera is trying to do again. He tries to sacrifice another generation of youth", said Soome sitting closer to Praneeth.

Praneeth spoke about a lot of things before Daisy. Praneeth also thought since the JVP was proscribed and had gone underground, a lot of unpleasant things would happen. Instead of anti-establishment sentiments in 1971, JVP had now based its campaign on patriotism and motherland concept.

"What Daisy told was correct. They will look back on after sacrificing another generation of youth", said Praneeth and took the cup of tea that Duleena brought in.

Footnote

Wijeweera - Referring to Rohana Wijeweera, the founder of the JVP (Janatha Vimukthi Peramuna), People's liberation front.