Dear Erica
Erica’s Quote of the Week
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the
airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
- Henry Ford
Dear Erica,
 I am a 19-year-old girl from an upper-class family. The problem is
that my parents are about to get divorced. It’s difficult for me to
understand it because my father has been having an affair with a woman
who is just 3 years older than me.
His girlfriend is a gold-digger and it’s no secret that she wants to
have the affair to take his money. No matter how many times I have tried
to have conversations with my father, he doesn’t seem to understand. His
girlfriend also has affairs with other men, cheating on my father. I
feel like there is no family harmony because my mother is upset and it’s
really frustrating for me too. I feel like doing some private
investigation and revealing photographs of her with other men to
confront my father as a last resort. Is that okay? Please help.
- Trapped
Dear Trapped,
I know this must be a very difficult time for your family. As much as
you want to keep the family together and make your father realise his
mistakes, there might be risks involved in you doing private
investigation on your father’s girlfriend. So it is important that you
seek some support and advice from some close family friends or relatives
(most importantly some person whom your parents trust and would listen
to) who are aware of this situation and find solutions.
First of all, talk to your mother and help her get over her present
mindset. After all, she has a role to play if she really wants to save
her marriage. It is important to know why the marriage was falling apart
and if your mother was at fault or if she didn’t handle the situation
too well. Hopefully, you will be able to find some solid proof to
convince your father and get back your family together again. It’s a
pity that children are the most affected when it comes to broken
marriages and parents don’t realise this. I hope you will be able to
cope with whatever the outcome is. Be strong!
--
Dear Erica,
I am a 15-year-old girl, doing my OL next year. I make friends very
quickly. But that’s not my problem; my problem is that so many guys want
to start an affair with me. All of them are so good and true to me
because I know them for a long time. Due to this, I cant concentrate on
my studies, besides I can’t ignore them at all because they are my best
pals and don’t want to get involved in a relationship right now. How can
I deal with this and how can I tell them that I’m not ready for a
relationship?
- Friendly
Dear Friendly,
I don’t think you should make yourself stressed over your male
friends. You have other priorities in life right now and you need to
concentrate on those. It’s important for you to have a social life, have
loads of friends and interact with people. But at the same time you
necessarily need not get carried away by these. If your intention is to
have friends but not a relationship, then you should make yourself clear
to them and learn to politely refuse them. After all, you have all the
right to say ‘No’. Maybe you’ve been over-friendly and the guys take it
as a sign that you might be interested in them. All the same, try to
make a plan for your studies and other priorities in life. Good luck!
Dear Erica,
I am a 17-year-old guy and I have a problem with my mother. She is
rather beautiful because I was born when she was quite young. She
maintains herself very well as she works as a lawyer. She exercises and
wears makeup so my friends hardly believe that she is my mother! I don’t
mind the fact that my mother is attractive but nowadays, my best friend
seems to be having a serious crush on her. Of course, he hasn’t told me
but I can sense it from his body language.
 Often I think that he comes to my house and spends time with me just
to glimpse and talk to my mother! It makes me uncomfortable because he
brings flowers for her, which my mother accepts thinking that it is a
general friendly thing. I really like my best friend and don’t want the
friendship to affect his infatuation with my mother but I can’t help
thinking that things might go overboard because my father wouldn’t be
happy if he finds out. I am worried.
- Worried
Dear Worried,
First of all, don’t worry over things that never happened or things
that you assume that may happen. You’re dealing well with the fact that
your mother is attractive and is subject to constant praise within your
group. And it’s also a good thing that your mother maintains herself and
keeps her well. Some youngsters do get attracted to older women for
their confidence, maturity and several other reasons. In this case, it
maybe a passing thing, anyway if you feel concerned for your family and
things getting out of hand then I think you should talk to your friend
right away.
Maybe you guys can spend some time out of home until your friend gets
over his interest with your mother. Be supportive and express how you
feel about the whole situation. Hopefully, you guys will be able to
overcome the situation with a little bit of guy talk.All the best!
Erica’s Poll
Do you think we should follow our passions no matter how hard it is:-
* Yes, definitely
* No, we should have limits
* Can’t say as depends on how things workout
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