Dear Erica
Dear Erica,
I am a 17 year-old school girl
who is about to sit for the AL exam soon. The problem is that for a few
days, I have this guy following me in the bus halt on my way to school.
He’s very rich and has a convertible car which seems to impress
everyone, including my friends! He has eyes only for me and always stops
in his car to talk to me. He’s not a bad guy but very much older, in his
30s. I feel like he wants to have a good time with me but not for love.
I’m not really even love with him even though he says he is in love with
me!
Recently he asked me to go to a movie with me but I know I won’t have
permission because my parents are strict and my exam is nearing and I
need peace and quiet to study. I have told him this but he asked me to
sneak out which I don’t like doing because I’m a decent girl. Of late,
he’s been a pain and I wish he’ll just leave me alone but he always
tries to convince me. Please help!
Not in love
*****
Dear Not in love,
Even though you’re not in love with him, you may be tempted in going
out with him or talking to him because you and your friends find him
impressive. Besides the more you engage in conversations with him the
more possibility of crossing your lines.
Another fact is that if a guy is genuinely interested in getting to
know you he would always give priority to your respect and never tell
you to sneak out your house in order to be with him. As a first step,
you need to avoid this guy. Maybe you can change your bus stand or bus
times, so that he will soon get tired of coming that way and not finding
you there.
And don’t forget you have exams coming up your way and you don’t want
to mess around with your future. After all, your life is worth than a
free ride in a convertible, right? Good luck girl and be steady with
what you follow!
Dear Erica,
I am a 14 year-old girl. I love this guy who was a prefect in our
school. At first when I saw him I did not feel anything for him but
later he caught my eyes. After his graduation, he got entrance to a
university in England and he went! Once I got a chance to contact him. I
told him about the love I have for him but he replied saying that “I
don’t share the same feelings you have for me”. I wasn’t sad because I
knew that would be his answer. But now I am struggling to get over him.
How can I move on? Please give me some advice to forget him!
-Lovestruck
****
Dear Lovestruck,
It’s a good thing that you managed to say the three words to him at
least after he left because then it’s out of your system and you feel
good about letting the other person know how you really felt. Also, you
were mentally prepared for the answer he gave you, accepted it and now
it’s time to move on.
You’re just 14, an age that you will go through loads of emotional
changes, infatuations, attractions and will be struck by love (at least
you would believe it to be so) but at the same time there are other
priorities and interests that you need to take care of and work on. Get
back to your life, make friends, follow your dreams and find some
activities to do. I’m sure you will be able to get over this guy soon.
All the best!
Dear Erica,
I am an 18 year old boy sitting for my A/L exam this August. I met
with a nasty incident at the end of last year due a fault of mine. My
math teacher magnified it and punished me rudely in front of my
classmates. I accepted it joyfully even though it was painful.
When I went home with the punishment wound, my parents were very
worried and angry.
They met my teacher and the principal at the parents’ meeting and the
problem was made bigger. Now the whole school looks at me as if I’m an
alien.
When something wrong happens to my math teacher, it gives me
pleasure. I know this is wrong and very sinful but I can’t control
myself because I hate school so much. Please Help.
Punished
*******
Dear Punished,
It’s very unfortunate that you had to go through such a bad
experience during school. But then you do accept that the fault was on
your part and that you deserved the punishment. On the other hand, deep
within, you must’ve felt shame, regret, anger or resentment about the
situation due to the fact that you had to go through it in front of your
class. In addition, your family’s involvement and the rest of the school
getting to know about it contributed to your uneven state of mind.
If it gives you pleasure to see your teacher in an uncomfortable
situation, does this mean that you’ve not forgiven them yet? Or is it
that you’re looking for some sweet revenge? Whatever the reason, you
have to let go of the past. I know it’s not easy to forget and on top of
all to forgive. But then when you let go of the past and forgive, you
will find yourself less stressful, angry, depressed and resentful.
How is your relationship with your teacher after the incident? I
think you should break the ice and make some eye contact and maybe start
by saying a little good morning. Talk to someone (maybe your best friend
at school) regularly about how you feel and share your feelings. The
moment that your mind is clear and you’re ready to move on, everything
else will fall into place. You will find it easier to concentrate in
your studies and get back to your usual self at school. Stop blaming
yourself for what happened or what you might be thinking. It takes time
for wounds to heal and it definitely will if you open up your heart to
it!
Erica’s Quote of the Week
“The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch
eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead!”
- Roberty Brault
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