Why wait for so long?
by Maheesha Mudugamuwa
Long distance relationships
 Many people wonder what a long distance relationship or LDR is.
Honestly, many people don’t know about it. A majority of Sri Lankans are
not very computer literate because they don’t have access to facilities.
So an LDR is not common in our society. Even though they know about
this, they are afraid to start such a relationship. The truth is that
LDR has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship.
The beginning of LDRs
Before the popularity of the internet, telephone conversations or
correspondence via email were not common as primary forms of
communication between lovers. However, with the advent of the internet,
LDRs have now suddenly become popular. So for continuing LDRs, many use
modern technology.
It include everything from cell phones, emails, online chatting,
video conferencing, and these help them keep in touch with their LDR
partner. In addition to this, text messaging, VOLP programmes, social
websites such as Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, shared online activities
are also used. For example, online games or offline activities like
watching the same movie or listening to music while talking on the phone
are other types of communication frequently employed by LDR partners.
The feeling of long distance relationships
When I asked this question from my friends, they gave different
ideas. One male friend said, “I feel very happy and encouraging when I
am with her. Also, I’m always trying to keep our love long lasting with
trust and confidence. We never think about breaking our relationship
because we’ll never do that. So that means when you love somebody
whether it is a long distance or a short distance relationship, you’ll
do it correctly,” he said that with his experience with his LDR partner.
Another friend said, “I like a long distance relationship because
absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If they meet all the time constantly, they will be bored of each
other and this might lead to misunderstandings.” He added, “If they have
a long distance relationship, they will feel a certain loneliness which
is healthy where they will understand the good qualities and save the
worthiness of the word called love.” Yet another one who had a different
idea from every one, said, “It is something that really makes you
uncomfortable like you can’t move on.
You don’t want to cheat either but you have lost the physical touch.
It is also hard to be honest and I feel like I don’t want another person
to go through the same feeling.”
Overall, many approve of long distance relationships but many don’t
like to talk about it. A long distance relationship is not a barrier for
love. Since love comes from the heart, it also links heart-to-heart. So
if you are truly in love, don’t worry about the distance, it should come
from within. Also, you can’t really compare a long distance relationship
to that of a traditional relationship.
Surviving a long distance relationship
 For the survival of your long distance relationship, you should be in
regular contact, so that you don’t go for a long period without speaking
to each other. Use modern forms of contacting like video chats and
teleconferencing if looking at your lover is important. Also, never have
an argument over the phone, if the argument isn’t going in a pleasant
direction, it’s best to hang up and then clear the matter the next time
you’re on the phone.
Remember that even though you’re in an LDR, it doesn’t mean that you
shoudn’t have fun. Spend time in between indulging in your hobbies and
activities that will fulfil your life. Finally, you should be honest to
your partner, make sure to talk about everything just as you would do
normally. This may also be a time to explore your non-physical intimacy.
So when it comes to LDR, you both have to develop creative ways to
connect.
When you are having an LDR, you should also be careful in selecting
them as a life partner. Don’t do it for fun or for passing your free
time. Love is the most important and beautiful feeling in one’s life.
You can do only one real love in your life, so think if you love them
very much to take the brave step.
If you are continuing an LDR, don’t forget to refresh your memories
of why you chose to do this in the first place, trust each other and
inform one another of your personal life, keep in touch, and turn your
relationship into a happy one.
You both will then be secure, happy and satisfied until the day comes
when you will reunite for good and build your wonderful future together.
Every relationship whether traditional or long distance, if it is unique
you need to use your better judgement with what it feels for the both of
you. A love that lasts a lifetime is well worth the risk where there is
a mutual will. |
