 Address someone by name and see the difference!
by Amal Hewavissenti
Just as fragrance accompanies a
flower, so does a brilliant and influential personality, a successful
man. This inner personality plays a key role in keeping a person well
within the admiration and respect of others in day-to-day life.
Inner personality which is hard to define in the minutest detail,
helps us establish ourselves firmly on the social platform. But it is
totally out of the question that the simplest things that are otherwise
neglected by us are much more helpful in maintaining social recognition.
One such simple technique in social etiquette is giving due recognition
to other people we often get on with in order to reap best results.
Most obviously, everyone likes to feel that he is accepted and
recognised by somebody just when he is addressed by his own name, which
is commonly a clear sign of amiability.
You are better capable of winning hearts of others by keeping their
appearance vividly in mind and by addressing them by their names.
The most pleasing word everybody is delighted to hear in this world
is nothing other than his own name spoken by somebody else in
friendship. If you address someone by his name, he will naturally be
affectionate towards you. Thereby the people we associate with, will do
their level best to be friendly and helpful to you simply because they
have understood that you have been so close to them as to address them
by name. So, always be prepared to call somebody by name and he will
definitely respond favourably to you.
If you talk to a person whom you have previously gotten to know, but
forgotten all about them, you will find yourself in hot water!
Completely distracted by this uncalled-for situation, you may try hard
shamefacedly to break free from the difficult circumstances. You may
desperately say, “You’re Mr....I’m sorry, I forgot your name”, “I forget
when and where I’ve met you before”, “Could you please tell me your name
again?” or “What did you say your name was?”
 The listener’s mood on hearing the above and the like, will change
markedly and he/she will not hesitate to form a wrong impression about
you. He/she might possibly conclude that you have offended him/her and
not given any recognition to his/her worth by openly and unashamedly
forgetting even his/her name!
It is customary for us that so long as we have dealing with somebody,
to our advantage, we remain in close companionship with them and once it
is done, we tend to forget all about them. This attitude does not
reflect well on a person because anybody will prove their value to the
person at some specific moment in their life. Somebody may ask you the
question “Do you remember the name of the man you got to know day before
yesterday?” Perhaps your answer may be like this: “Who on earth can keep
all that stuff in mind? Are you mad?”
How absurd this attitude sounds! Is keeping someone’s appearance and
name in memory such a challenging task? It is definitely not. If
somebody’s name is out of your memory it is probably because you have
not got the name properly. It is a common occurrence that when a quick
and brief introduction is made of a person, we may not get at the
necessary data such as the name properly and accurately.
If we happen to ‘mishear’ a name, we should be frank and ask him or
her to repeat the name. Under no circumstances is it a matter of
humiliation.
But if we happen to come upon him/her next time and we display a lot
of struggle to bring his/her name back to mind, he/she will undoubtedly
form an unfavourable opinion. The belief that our memory does not keep
someone’s name or appearance is an absolute myth.
 It is blatantly the lack of our own attention and negligence. Once
you meet a person, look at him thoroughly and when you are alone,
analyse their name and appearance together with their way of talking,
nature of eyes, smile and hairstyle. This is a matter of interest and
attention. There is a seller you always buy things from or anyone whom
you meet most often while you are out. Ask their names and keep them in
memory because this habit brings you benefits rather than setbacks.
This is, in no way to tell you that you are to memorise the names of
whoever you meet or talk to. But you can keep in memory at least the
small details of persons you always deal with or always talk to in the
day to day life. Such seemingly trivial matters may bring love,
affection and respect towards you though it takes only a little effort.
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