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Dear Erica
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Dear Erica,
I’m a 26 year-old girl in a relationship for the past three years.
I’m very social, independent and having a successful career. Everything
about our relationship is good, my boyfriend treats me extremely well
and we’ve had no major problems other than a few misunderstandings which
we have always managed to solve. But my problem is my boyfriend’s best
friend is a girl.
And their relationship really threatens me a lot. They have been
friends ever since school days and are very close to each other. Though
I try to push back my thoughts on any suspicion that they might have had
had an affair, I can’t stop thinking about it. How can I overcome these
thoughts?
- Suspicious
Dear suspicious,
I know that sometimes three people in a relationship can be a bit of
a crowd. And women are all emotional beings who want to be the centre of
attention and care when it comes to their man. It’s normal for you to
feel threatened by their relationship, especially with the friend being
a girl and naturally there will be a bit of competition going on between
you both. But then your boyfriend and this girl have been the best
friends since school and they share a long history together which you
should accept and deal with. On the other hand, you have been in this
relationship for three years and you should know a lot about each other
by now and this in return should give you a better judgement and
flexibility about things.
How is your relationship with your boyfriend’s friend? Do you have a
close relationship with her or do you keep your distance with her and
hate it when she’s around? Whatever you do or feel about their
friendship, don’t turn it into some kind of girly war, rivalry or use it
against your boyfriend or his friend. Try to respect their friendship
and she, in return should know to respect and accept your role in her
friend’s life. Your suspicions about their past maybe right or wrong!
Anyhow you and he have chosen to be with each other. So let the past go.
Don’t let unwanted suspicions or past issues determine the present and
future. Good luck!
Dear Erica,
I’m a 25 year-old guy currently following my higher studies abroad. I
was on vacation and met my girlfriend who is 23 and doing her studies in
Sri Lanka. Since she has three more years to complete her studies and I
myself need two more years to complete my degree, we have to stay apart.
My problem is that I don’t think long distance relationships work! We
don’t communicate very often and I think this is not good enough for our
relationship. Will this work out?
- Faraway
Dear Faraway,
The success of any relationship is determined by the people involved
in it. Whether it is a long distance one or even if it’s just a few
blocks away, it depends on how important the other person is to you and
vice versa. If you both are genuine and thinking long term about your
relationship then that alone lays a good foundation for the
relationship. I don’t think communication will be a problem with all the
latest technologies that we’re surrounded with.
Try to create each other a special instant messenger account (skype,
msn, yahoo) exclusively for each other only. Don’t add any other
contacts to this address. Then you both can agree on a certain time
schedule to chat or call each other online. Try not to clash this with
your study or university schedules since both your personal as well as
academic life is important.
Try to follow each other and leave a personal message on your Twitter
accounts (this too created for each other) if you come across less time
to catch up on a regular basis. By doing so, you both are aware about
the presence of each other in your lives.
I think two years is not a long time since time flies past and
hopefully you will spend more time together after you’ve completed your
education and sorted out your careers as well. Good luck with
everything! |
