Dear Erica
Dear Erica,
 I’m a 25 year-old working girl having a good career. My sister is 23
and recently got herself employed at a good place. She has friends
workin with her who are habitual party goers and they expect her to
spend on them lavishly which led her to debt. I have tried to advise her
many times to be wary of them but to no avail. Our parents are not aware
on this issue. My sister feels that if she stops all this she will have
no friends and I’m worried about her. Please advise.
- Protective
Dear Protective,
I appreciate the fact that you’re concerned about the well-being of
your sister and trying to help her out in her issues. As much as you’re
concerned about her, you have to also be very tactful in handling this
situation. The most important thing is that you should earn your
sister’s trust, as telling her to avoid her friends, talking to your
parents about her may take away her confidence in you.
Take things slow and steady. Sometimes you have to let your sister
make her own mistakes in life so that she will learn through them,
unless of course it might be harmful to her. First of all try to spend
some quality time with her, no matter how busy you are.
Make sure you talk to her on a regular basis about her work and
activities. Help her manage her finances and maybe you can suggest how
she can settle her debts with her money. Then she will learn to control
and think for herself on how much she overspends on them.
Plan some activities that you feel that might take her mind away from
her usual lifestyle. Maybe you can get her to enrol herself into a gym,
a sport, or courses of study which will keep her occupied and give her
less chances to think of leisure all the time. Eventually you should
teach her to be responsible for her life and how she should manage
herself in any kind of environment or people. Hope things go well with
your sister. Good luck!
Dear Erica,
I’m a 17 year-old schoolboy. My problem is that I’m interested in a
woman much older than I. The thing is she loves me even though she is
married. We have dated many times but I always feel second best as she
tends to compare me with her husband. This happens suddenly and she says
she doesn’t mean to. But we have problems as I’m still studying and she
can’t leave her husband as she depends on him. It’s so difficult because
I love her so much but the affair is stressing me out. I feel like
leaving her but she says she loves me and she will get hurt if I do.
Please help.
 - Secret lover
Dear Secret lover,
These kinds of relationships are not uncommon in the present day.
Firstly, you should understand and accept that it’s very unethical to
have such a relationship.
Of course each and every person has personal reasons to get involved
with relationships like this.
But you’re still 17 and have other priorities and interests in life
other than dating an older and married woman. My advice would be to
immediately stop this relationship and move on in life. As much as her
pleas for you to stay in her life may put you in a difficult and
stressful situation, I feel that if you continue to pursue this
relationship you will face more problems, heartaches and even scandalous
issues.
This may affect your parents, school and your life. And besides, if
this woman really loves you she will not want to spoil your future by
dragging you into all of these. Let her take care of her own marriage.
Hope you get out of this mess and turn towards a new page in your life.
All the best!
Erica’s Poll:
Erica’s Poll Results for
the month of July:
Would you go back to the past to change some
things that you didn’t want to happen?
20 - Yes, I need to start all over again
33 - Yes, maybe I need to change a few things
5 - No, I am happy with my past
8 - No, I have moved on from my past errors
Erica’s Quote of the
Week:
‘Dream manfully and nobly and thy dreams
shall be prophets’
- Robert Bulwer-Lytton
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