Women’s club
* At a Colombo 7 women’s club, the topic was music. All were trying
to show off their knowledge in the field. Chopin’s music is lovely.
Don’t you think, Sheila, that all his compositions are for all time?
“Yes, My favourite too, Anu, tell me, has he been composing lately?”
“I really don’t know, but I know for sure that he has been decomposing
for quite sometime.”
* 1952 - Now that the king is dead, the queen will be king
* Static electricity in the atmosphere in high mountains like the
Kashmir Valley
* Stir with a glass rod, made of glass
by Siripathy Jayamaha
Flood and God
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come
over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb
on to the roof of his house.
As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared,
and told him to get in. “No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith
in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the man in the rowboat went
away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared.
“Climb in!” shouted a man in the boat. “No,” replied the man on the
roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the man in
the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the
loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the
roof. “No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the
Lord will save me.” So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof
prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high
that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man
drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God.
“Heavenly Father,” he said, “I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save
me, and yet you did nothing. Why?” God gave him a puzzled look, and
replied “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you
expect?”
- Shashika Uluwatte
Sergeant: ‘The trouble with you is you’re too fond of the bottle.
You’ll never become a sergeant like me!’
Private: ‘Why should I want to? When I’m drunk, I’m a
Lieutenant-General.’
Laughter in uniform
A young soldier was on a map-reading course. He wrote home to his
mother saying that he was being taught how to use his sextant.
‘Good heavens!’ said his mother. ‘This permissive society is really
going too far’.
T.V. Perera
Whispers
During the war, a journalist was visiting the front line and a
captain was assigned to show him around. From base headquarters, they
trudged up to the trenches in silence and as they ducked down into the
dugout, the captain whispered ‘This is the forward line of trenches.’
‘How far are we from the enemy?’ whispered the journalist.
‘About a kilometre’ the captain whispered in return’.
‘A kilometre?’ said the journalist. ‘Then what are we whispering
for?’
“I don’t know about you’, replied the officer, ‘but I’ve got
laryngitis.’ |
