Top 10 jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
1) Tim Vine - “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll
tell you what, never again.”
2) David Gibson - “I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two
birds, one stone.”
3) Emo Philips - “I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you
hit them.”
4) Jack Whitehall - “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands
when they first came out. I say bought, I actually stole it off a short,
fat ginger kid.”
5) Gary Delaney - “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldnt
afford a dog.”
6) John Bishop - “Being an England supporter is like being the
over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.”
7) Bo Burnham - “What do you call a kid with no arms and an
eye-patch? Names.”
8) Gary Delaney - “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a
wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have
wanted.”
9) Robert White - “For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of
chocolates: Empty.”
10) Gareth Richards - “Wooden spoons are great. You can either use
them to prepare food. Or, if you can’t be bothered with that, just write
a number on one and walk into a pub…”
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