Revolt against marriage

George Bernard Shaw once said, "More nonsense had been uttered on the subject of marriage than any other topic in the world." However, when there is an apparent revolt against marriage, we are compelled to talk about it.

If you think of the basic reality in life, you will realise that human relationships take precedence over politics and a host of other matters. Human relationships begin when a man marries a woman and produce children. Although we love luxurious houses, nutritious food and loads of money to buy whatever we want, human life revolves on mate-love and mother-love.

The best example to prove this point comes from Russia. A girl who took part in the Russian Revolution in 1917 jumped into the grave of her lover and said, "Bury me too; what do I care about the Revolution now that he is dead?" For her the Russian Revolution was an unimportant event in comparison to her Mississippi of mating. Even our own revolutionaries who took part in the 1971 and 1989 insurrections would agree that love, marriage, and children are the central stream of human life. In other words, our families are more important than the State.

Some young men and women either postpone or evade marriage thinking that it is an additional burden. They can learn a lesson from the natural world where almost all animals mate and protect their young with parental care. Even flowers spread pollen to attract insects that in turn help multiply plants. Probably taking a cue from nature, marriage came to be established in human societies. From ancient times, marriage was not considered a licence to procreate.

It was intended to improve the quality of life by legally binding the parents to look after their offspring.

Although we go through many rituals for marriage, some birds live monogamous lives without any formal celebrations. Unlike some of their human counterparts, they remain faithful to their partners. Our nearest cousins, the orang-utangs of Borneo live in families. The males build nests for their female partners and provide them protection.

Even the gorilla lives in families protecting its mate and the young ones.

Man has learned over the centuries that families make up closely-knit societies. In civilised societies mothers are attached to their children so much that they are even ready to sacrifice their lives if the need arises. When a baby is born, the mother begins to love the baby more than her husband.

The unit of family probably arose due to the helplessness of young children who have to be looked after for many years to prevent them from dying. Will Durant who made a thorough study of the subject says, "Men are by nature slaves to women and women are by nature slaves to children and the race; in that natural slavery is the secret of their deepest and most durable content."

Accordingly, marriage was not meant to legalise desire. From the inception, it remained a relationship between parents and children, designed to strengthen the human race. All civilised societies have passed so many laws to protect marriage. This is because the existence of society depends on the family. Special laws have been enacted to protect mothers and children as some husbands may try to evade their responsibilities.

The legal system and religions in many countries always try to preserve the sanctity of marriage. For instance, divorce is not encouraged and every attempt is made to reconcile the differences between spouses. This is a healthy process as far as civilisation is concerned. However, a large number of marriages goes on the rocks due to many reasons.

Men and women in the distant past did not live long and separation and divorce were out of the question. However, thanks to advanced medical care, man can live longer today. With longevity came the Age of the Individual. This is the starting point of the revolt against marriage.

In the modern world where most husbands and wives are employed, they feel a sense of individualism. Working mothers have very little time to look after their children. Because of the pressure of work parents and children do not spend time together. While parents watch the idiot box, children play video games on the computer.

Nothing stays the same for ever. As they say you cannot step into the same river twice. Even marriage has lost its appeal as far as the new generation is concerned. New contraceptive methods, communication revolution, ample opportunities to meet and the desire for achieving quick pleasure without attendant responsibilities have enabled young men and women to postpone marriage until middle age or to remain single. In time to come, stable marriages will be rare in modern societies. Such a situation will lead to the gradual erosion of morals and the final downfall of civilisation.