Agni Chakra

 (Circles of Fire)

(Chapter 31)

By Kathleen JAYAWARDENA

"Shantha, I am at the airport, I am coming home soon!"

Shantha paused for a moment because she felt a difference in tone or she wanted to identify a change.

I would have called her 'Shantha', at least, twenty years ago.

"Yes", Shantha said in the usual way.

"May triple gem protect you!, Come soon"

While driving fast home, who directed me towards the university? I ordered driver Nandasiri to apply brekes near the College House and took the key because I suddenly wanted to take to the wheel. I felt deadly tired just as I turned to the university car park just because I screamed to Nandasiri to come home in the evening. I deeply breathed in three times walking into my office room, asking Ruben to open the windows.

Through the open door, together with the sun light rushed into the room were students, academics and scholars. They were inquiring about how they should organise the felicitation ceremony for me. Indraseela suggested that three dance items from Up Country, Low Country and Sabaragamuwa traditions. Researching on Low Country dancing, he said for this he could solicit the assistance of a large number of teachers and students as if to prove his ability to organise the dance items. Weeraratne showed me a model of indigenous decorations made out of Badal Vannassa, tender coconut leaves and king coconut showing me how to make decorations. Meanwhile, one was asking about the venue of the ceremony. It became quite a commotion.

" Hotel Taj Samudra...? Hotel Galle Face ....? Bandaranaike Memorial International Conference Hall? "

In a second, I forgot about 'reality'. My waning out desires take wings. I was overwhelmed by cheerfulness over the ceremony. I imagined a group of people taking me through a banquet hall in a five star hotel. Now, I imagined Shantha and I were walking between the isles on the red carpet wearing a cloak in a proud manner. It was for the first time as far as I could remember that I took Shantha into such a fantasy....

"Sir, we are also doing a documentary on you ..."

I smiled with Kanchana trying to tame my feelings.

"Sir, can we have your mother's and father's snaps for the documentary?"

My feelings only turned into Sinhala as " Me mona hatvalamakda" (what a nuisance is this?). But I sported my usual reserved smile. "No need of such photographs. Isn't it better to tell about my academic contribution? No one can learn from my mother, father or my native village? Haven't they got all these things? "

"Sir, but, at least for two minutes frame, otherwise it would be a shortcoming"

"We will see".

I tried to close the drawyer and was about to go. The group dispersed as they felt that I needed a rest. Though Amritha reluctantly left, Pumika stayed in. I felt for sometime, that she wanted to say something.

"Sir..Can you help me?"

"Help.."

"Yes"

"Tell me, I will try".

"Sir, will you promise me..? "

"What should I promise you?"

"Don't tell Indika that you have had no affair with me ..."

"Why shouldn't I ...? "

"It's a help for me "

I looked around and raised my voice a little.

"Really we don't have an affair now? Then, why should I lie?"

"Please, tell that lie for me"

This time, I looked at her with irritation. Should I invite trouble?

"Why should you give him such an impression? That's wrong! "

"I detest him. I simply cannot bear up his presence! He is such a jealous creature. I loath his hypocritical nature. Sir, please help me. "

"I can tell him these things. Both of you should settle them without getting others involved in them "

I locked the locker and took the key into my hand. Though I walked out of the room, I could see Piyumika stayed in the corridor. I quickened my steps as if I had not seen her.

The vehicle was parked beyond the lawn. Though it was not far, I had to walk keeping away from the puddles that the rain had made. I had to take a meandering course avoiding the puddles here and there.

I could see as if a green wall had been constructed a little beyond the gate under the Roberosia tree. Gradually, I could see that it was a garbage truck of the Municipal Council parked. The blurred yellow lettering became gradually clearer and clearer.

"Let us recycle more and more garbage".

A pleasant feeling splashed across the mind like a wicker of a lamp. I fixed on yellow lettering.

"Let us recycle more and more garbage".

"Recycling...."

"Garbage..."

"Garbage" can be recycled. Anything other than "Garbage" need not recycle. By recycling, value is added to "Garbage". In other words, it is only "Garbage" that can be value added.

So many times, I thought whether it could be possible to get rid of corrosion of life. It was Ratnaweera who made the contradictory ideas against my attitude. He, who often spoke of purification, compared everything to a cycle. He takes white which is outside the spectrum but inside it and ash which is a combination of white and black, as examples of it. At the same time, he speaks about crossing it. What is crossing in a cycle?

"Mundane...?"

"Supra mundane...?"

"White..? black...? Ash...?"

"Cycle...?"

"Recycling...?"

"Purification...?"

The garbage truck stood like an elephant. The yellow lettering sparkled in the sunlight.

" sh....sh...sss..!"

I stopped a while. Someone with a cloth-bag hanging from his shoulder was walking up to me without difficulty or disgust trampling the muddy puddles. I was confused and paused and began to walk again. Instantly I sensed a danger.

"Are you trying to run away? Do you think that you can get away by running? Stopp...stop.. right now!"

In a second, the mystic Mara (God of death) had come up to me. Now the gap between the Mara and myself was about three or four feet. Those red eyes came into contact with mine. His dishevelled hair soaked in perspiration and on his face made him a devilish figure. I sensed a fear of death. My denture cluttered and entire body was shivering before his thin figure like a rat shivered before a mighty cat in fear of death.

"You thought of escaping travelling abroad", the Mara winked his white teeth with hysterical laughter.

"What are you talking about? What do you want?"

"What do you want? Do you think you can get away by bribing this time? I told you earlier that you cannot give what you had taken from Piyumika? "

Inwardly I began to lament. This was a past sin that followed me for no fault of mine. Should I tell this devil all; I had stopped the contact with Piyumika, I am turning a new leaf in my life and my cancer. But he did not give me any space for it.

"Professor, you cannot evade life...!" says the devil with a smile.

"Buddhism says whether you be in a village, city or hiding in a cave, you could not avoid past sins ...do you know that? There is no point in delivering sermons even throughout three hundred and sixty five days for people like yourself, worst kind of womaniser and craving for dollars "

"Child, will you listen to me..."

This time, I tried to explain about the lie that Piyumika told me to tell him a little while ago. But he raised his high pitched tone stopping, avoiding and overpowering me.

"There is no point ...confessing after it had happened. You make this confession to king Yama!"

In a splash, appeared in the hand of the Mara was a dagger. The burning sun came to the glistening blade of the dagger...thousands of stars mingled and merged with it ...In flash , it was those stars and the sun which penetrated me through the respiratory system...chest ..heart....

Footnote

King Yama; The king in charge of a hell