Gratitude: Mother of all virtues

If someone were to ask you what the greatest virtue is, you would say kindness, honesty, truthfulness or generosity. However, with apologies to Cicero, gratitude appears to be the mother of all virtues. All the major religions have emphasised the importance of gratitude. For instance, Gauthama Buddha paid His gratitude to the sacred Bo tree under which he attained Enlightenment through Animisalochana Pooja.

Newspapers are full of negative stories in which ingratitude plays a major role. We often read about old parents and innocent children being abandoned in public places by heartless people. Media exposure is so high that an average reader might come to the conclusion that he is living in a wicked world. Although there are so many grateful men and women in our midst, they do not get any publicity.

If you look at the world with an open mind, you will find that there are people whose hearts are filled with the milk of human kindness.

There is a little story of a man who got stranded on a lonely Malaysian road at night. His vehicle had run out of petrol. Suddenly, a gang of robbers had surrounded him. When they were about to rob the man of his valuables, an elderly Malay man had appeared out of nowhere. The robbers beat a hasty retreat when they saw the community leader. Sensing the dangerous situation of the lonely driver, the elderly man invited him to spend the night in his home.

Next morning, the Malay man sent a youth to the nearest town to get some petrol and then sent the stranded man away. Before leaving,the stranger offered some money for the services rendered by the elderly man. Refusing to accept the money, the old man had laughingly said that he would appreciate a bunch of “lychees” (small Chinese fruit) the next time he came around that way!

Thank you cards, a way of paying gratitude

Gratitude is a great moral quality that should be cultivated. If you wish to practise gratitude, you have to see with your heart. In other words, you have to exercise empathy more than sympathy. If you can feel the hunger of another human being or an animal, you know what empathy is. Most of us extend sympathy lavishly doing precious nothing. A hungry man needs food and a sick person requires medical attention. None of them needs sermons! If you do not feel the agony of others, you cannot practise gratitude.

To cultivate gratitude you have to talk to yourself first. When you do so, you do not wish to hurt yourself. If you adopt the same principle when talking to others, you will not hurt their feelings. Most of the problems in workplaces are created by those who hurt the feelings of others. A cynic can never practise gratitude because he condemns everything and everyone.

Grateful people have a good memory. They remember those who do some service to them. If you cannot remember their names, it is advisable to maintain a journal. In it you can mention their names and the services they had rendered. Also think of the way you are going to be grateful to them.

Some sensible people have the habit of writing thank you letters or sending thank you cards to those who deserve them. Thank you cards carry a greater weight than thanking someone over the phone.

If you have the time, make a gratitude visit. Modern gadgets such as mobile phones have distanced ourselves from our friends and relations.

Meeting a person face to face is one of the best ways to restore relationships and pay gratitude.

Those who practise gratitude are ready to accept a gift even from a poor man. A company director should not refuse an invitation from his gardener for lunch at his humble house.It is not surprising to see kings and heads of State walking into humble homes to accept meals or simple gifts from poor people.

A French proverb says, “Gratitude is the heart’s memory.” You have to remember those who had helped you and showed kindness. You will be surprised to find that there are numerous people whom you should be grateful to. If not for their guidance and help, you would not have succeeded in life.

A noted psychologist says that gratitude can improve your health and raise energy levels. This is because you release pain and fatigue when you remain grateful to someone.

Gratitude is a kind of “giving back.” However, it does not mean reciprocating favours so that everything is fair and the tally even.

That is the beauty of giving. If someone does an act of kindness for you, one way to say “thanks” is to do the same for another.

Always be grateful to God or Nature for giving us a beautiful world full of greenery, flowers, mist-covered mountains, sun-kissed beaches, adequate rain and sunshine because without them life on this planet will not be complete.

Gratitude has to be expressed in some form or the other. Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it!