On having one more and responsibilities that matter

Almost twenty years ago, that is when I knew more about women and less about love, I made use of a special 'aluth avurudu' loan facility offered by the institute I worked at, to make purchases as Salu Sala worth one month's salary (payable in 10 equal installments, interest free).

I thought it would be a nice gesture to buy some material for my then girlfriend to make a dress with. I gave it, I remember, with quite some pride and it was accepted graciously and with the 'you are sweet' and 'thank you so much' that I failed to see was courtesy and nothing more.

A few months later I asked her what she did with it and she said, kindly, 'You don't understand things like fashion, colours, dresses and what might suit a particular person.'

I still remember feeling a sense of relief which I articulated thus: 'This is good to know. After this I won't do anything stupid like this.

I will only buy things that I can claim to have some understanding of.

After this I will only gift books.' And that's what I have done since. On the rare occasions I gifted rings, necklaces and bracelets, the recipients of love and affection have duly misplaced them. Tells.

Last evening (March 3, 2011), while browsing through the Barefoot book shop and two books caught my gifting-eye. Interestingly they also caught my eye at the Galle Literary Festival a few weeks ago, partly because they were slim and therefore wallet-sized, partly because of the author partly because I had read them and partly because they are eminently 'giftable' with no 'you-don't-understands' to follow.

Diyanath Samarasinghe would be the last to claim he deserves better display than the in-the-corner deemed appropriate for 'Responsibility Matters' and 'Oh go on - HAVE ANOTHER ONE', but given the amount of drivel among which are value-for-money books, these two seemed out of place. They deserved better. The GLF has some redeeming features, as I have argued elsewhere, and this is one of them. There are gems waiting to be picked up, if only you have the eyes to recognize them for what they are. I already had the books and wonder if anyone else noticed. Maybe in the eyes of another these would not be 'literature' or even 'good reads', for me they are essential reading for anyone who is even remotely concerned about the world and would like to inhabit a better tomorrow.

'Oh, go on - HAVE ONE MORE' is the most succinct and compelling treatise I have read on matters related to alcohol. Anyone who has ever had a drink for whatever reason and anyone who is a slave to alcohol or is on the path to such slavery would recognize him/herself as well as situations described in the three well-crafted essays that make the book: 'Alcohol and us', 'Alcohol and pleasure' and 'Alcohol and poverty'.

There is no moral posturing in these essays; just straightforward observations and lots of useful information that would help anyone, including teetotalers, understand the phenomenon better and thereby transform themselves and the circles they move around in for more wholesome living. Through it all there is lightheartedness that does not come off as condescension but as an invitation to a conversation with oneself, on equal terms, friend-to-friend in the manner of kalyana mithra sevanaya. A good read for anyone. A must read for educators, policy makers, law enforcement officers and others engaged in matters directly or indirectly related to alcohol.

'Responsibility Matters' is as carefully crafted. There's not a word out of place. It is not a gem but a veritable illama, a rich vein carrying many precious stones. You can read from cover to cover or turn to random page. One thing is guaranteed, each snippet you glance through in the course of such random flipping will spur further reflection.

The good doctor uses anecdote and fact as vehicles to drive home some simply put but profound thoughts on a wide range of subjects. Reading through, I found myself asking questioned I had set aside for a quieter moment that never seemed to arrive. Diyanath is not saying anything out of this world. He merely leads us gently to the shelves at the back of our minds where we shove uncomfortable things or things that we know we should attend to but for reasons of convenience put off for later.

No, one would not have one's life totally transformed by the book and that's not what the author intends I believe. Knowledge and practice, after all, are two different things; the former is easy and the latter hard. Life changes slowly. We too move from moment to moment, place to place, state of mind to state of mind ever so slowly, even when we believe we are doing something at lightening speed. 'Responsibiliy Matters' comes in manageable slices. A little thing here and something else there. It's an invitation to self-discovery subsequent to which we naturally become better at whatever we do. There's less taking away and more giving, to self and world. A masterpiece, therefore.

Yes, the GLF has its redeeming features. It added a couple of books to my gift-range and invited several re-reads. I know for sure that I will have many more occasions to buy more copies of 'Responsibility Matters'. And of course 'Oh, go on - HAVE ONE MORE'. I will have one less or none at all as a result.

Malinda Seneviratne is a freelance writer who can be reached at [email protected]