Big Lady to conspire in Delhi

Retired Big Lady, who was overjoyed after India voted for the US-led Resolution against Sri Lanka, is now planning to tour New Delhi next week. Though, she says, that the purpose of her tour is to address a meeting of a South Asian policy and research body, the Retired Big Lady seems to have other plans to use her fast-fading charm to conspire against her country.

Final warning for Love-Slave and Ka-Roo

Ra-Blue has taken a firm decision to expel Saa-Jeet, the Love Slave and Ka-Roo Victory-Suriya from the Elephant Party, if they hold an alternative May Day in Colombo. Ra-Blue has admonished the duo to refrain from any plans to boycott the party's official May Day celebrations in Jaffna and conduct a separate rally in Colombo under the guise of Premadasa commemorations.

Soo-me cautions against rebel threat

Soo-me, the One-sa, last week cautioned his party seniors on the possibility of Jay-Vee-Pee rebels disrupting their April celebrations to mark their failed 1971 coup. "They could pose a big threat. Make sure we deploy our own intelligence and security to man the venue. Don't take any chances," Soo-me said.

New-Village-ge in sporty operation

Sporty New-Village-ge has vowed to cleanse national sports bodies, rejecting several requests for extensions even from some heavyweight officials. He politely turned down such requests from some of the big names, stressing that the time is now opportune to get rid of long-standing officials. However, the true result of his sporty operation is yet to be seen.