How not to boil over

Not only vehicle engines, but also people boil over and create ugly scenes at home and public places. Nowadays we hardly see cars parked on the roadside with their bonnets raised to let the steam off. However, some private bus and trishaw drivers still blow off their tops.

When somebody shouts at you, the natural reaction for anybody is to pay them back in the same coin. When both parties start shouting at each other, it might end up in fisticuffs. Very often we hear people say, “I gave him tight” to mean that they had shouted somebody down. Shouting at people and fighting with them over trivialities is worse than dynamite!

An angry man wants his way. He has no concern for innocent bystanders or schoolchildren. He lets off steam in his own way that people who witness such behaviour might wonder whether global warming has anything to do with it. We can get to the bottom of the problem if we analyse some real life situations where people lose their temper.

Drug addicts

Most of the shouting takes place in private buses. Some of the conductors and drivers, according to their association boss, are drug addicts.

He cannot be wrong because some conductors always fight with passengers. When passengers do not get the balance of their bus fare, they start a fight with the conductor. Passengers also forget the fact that they should take enough coins and small notes to pay the bus fare.

Rudyard Kipling: Keep your head when others are losing theirs

No conductor can carry a load of coins and small notes to give change. If passengers cooperate with conductors, most of the ugly scenes can be avoided.

Although teachers should set an example, some of them scold students and their colleagues. A teacher of a leading college who always blew his top learnt a bitter lesson when parents made a complaint to the authorities. The teacher was eventually referred to a psychiatrist.

In a rare moment of calm reflection, the teacher confessed that he was suffering from stomach ulcers. The disease was so intense that he could not keep his feelings under control.

Strangely, anger can erupt from compassion. For instance, we can be justifiably angry when we hear that a woman has set fire to an innocent dog. We really do not know who was mad, the woman or the dog! Similarly, animal sacrifice, child abuse and rape ought to make any sane person angry.

Divisive issues

Human society is so complex that certain divisive issues come up every now and then. In such situations we must call up the best in us, not the worst. Even through anger, we should be able to speak rationally and respectfully to the other person. When your anger reaches boiling point, you will not know what will happen next. It is very likely that you will want to abuse or assault the abuser.

All the great religious leaders, philosophers and sages have taught us that anger does not pay. They have also pointed out that anger can be managed. Anger can boil over anything. When somebody jumps the queue in a bank, you are likely to get angry. Life is full of such inconveniences and they do not deserve anger. Surely, you will be annoyed by the delay, but it is not worth kicking up a row.

If you blow off your top, you are probably frustrated about something. When you love others and share their goodwill, that is going to change your life. Your failure to manage anger is an indication of a weak personality. Nobody will respect a man who loses his temper at the drop of a hat. It’s time that we developed a new way of seeing everything in life. When we get that insight we will find it difficult to boil over.

If somebody is trying to provoke you, remain silent. In the long run you will learn that it is possible to blow off steam without making a sound! If every attempt to manage anger fails, read Rudyard Kipling’s celebrated poem entitled If several times.

“If you can keep your head when all about you
are losing theirs and blaming it on you...
You will be a man, my son!”