The uneven course of true love

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.

 Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French philosopher and Jesuit priest.

Love: that strong, complex emotion or feeling causing one to appreciate, delight in, and crave the presence or possession of another; and to please or promote the welfare of that another; is something most of us, man or woman, must have experienced at some stage in our life. Unlike affection: a kindly feeling, deep, tender, and constant, going out to some person, being less fervent and ardent than love; love is the yearning or outgoing of one's soul towards something that is regarded as excellent, beautiful, or desirable.

Love is a strong and absorbing affection for, and attraction towards, a person of the opposite sex. It is more intense, absorbing, and tender than friendship; is impulsive, and perhaps passionate, but does never denote mere animal passion or lust.

Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness and compassion - the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Love, in its various forms, acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships.

In fact, a loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

It is possible that love is a genetic trait evolved and inscribed to facilitate our survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to ensure the continuation of the species. It is when two persons discover one another; when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumbling or with what would seem as amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision; it is then that love is born; and instantly they stand together in an immense solitude. A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. In fact, when love is not madness, it is not love.

Smooth

However, the course of true love never did run smooth. Therefore, it takes a strong heart to love, and a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt and pained by the turbulence of love. Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. Be it science or man, neither has been able to predict the course of love, especially true love.

Ultimately, it is the quality of the two in love that determines whether it is true or not, because love is not only the discovery of ourselves in others, but also the ability to delight in the recognition. If this aptitude is absent, love does not last.

A sad thing in life is to meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never intended to be, and that you have to just let go. It may hurt to love someone and not to be loved in return; but what is more painful is to love someone, and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

A love affair is a romantic attachment between two people not married to each other, but in love. As much as a flower cannot blossom without sunshine, man cannot live without love. Love, is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly, and without expectation. We do not love, to be loved; we love to love. Love may begin with a smile and grow with care, kindness, tenderness, and warmth; but if it turns tumultuous for whatsoever reason, that is when the character of the love becomes visible.

To be loved by someone, deeply and intensely, might give strength to a person; but it takes courage to love someone deeply and passionately. Immature lovers may say 'I love you because I need you'; but the matured would instead say 'I need you because I love you.' The fact is that love is of two kinds, one which commands and one which obeys. The two are quite distinct, and the passion to which the one gives rise is not the passion of the other. Remember that in every living thing there is the desire for love.

The basic rule of love is to stay together, stand firm through the winds of life. Love gives colour to everything. When in love, we do not know what we have until we lose it; but it is also true that we do not know what we have been missing, until it arrives. It may take only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Turmoil

Hence, at times of dispute or turmoil, always put yourself in the other's shoes. We have heard it said that absence makes the heart fonder. Yet, give thought to the possibility that absence diminishes mediocre passions, but whereas it increases great ones: as does the wind extinguish candles, whilst it fans fires. The happiest of people do not necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. After all, in this birth, during this visitation to planet earth, you have but one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do; but fail not to love, to fall in love, be in love, at least once.

When love is at its best, one loves so much that one cannot forget. We are most alive when we are in love; and we can only learn to love by loving. So, always remember what Oscar Wilde said: "Who, being loved, is poor?" I would take it a step further and say: who loving, and being loved, is poor?

See you this day next week. Until then, keep thinking; keep laughing. Life is mostly about these two activities.

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