 No resolutions for 2013, just count your blessings
By Lionel Wijesiri
We can only be said to
be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures
–
Thornton Wilder
On December 1 this year, I decided to stop making any more new year’s
resolutions.This wasn’t because I felt I had achieved an ideal state of
being. Far from it! The change came from my matured understanding of
what motivates me these days. Lectures, self-recrimination and an annual
recycling of nearly impossible resolutions no longer make me want to
become a better person. I find I get more go-juice for another 12 months
from focusing on what is right in my life and in the world around me.
This process is also known as “counting one’s blessings.” Gratitude
makes us happier. That’s what many spiritual traditions maintain. Now
scientific research backs such claims. And that’s what we can easily
observe in our own life and that of others.
This year, as December 31 draws close, I will not only inventory all
my blessings, but also try to proclaim as many as possible. My tally
sheet for 2012 is going to be long and I am really happy about it.
Need more
One of the driving forces for many people at the beginning of a new
year is the need to self-improve. Not just self-reflect, but also to fix
the stuff they are not so happy about. It’s an incredibly pervasive
urge, all wrapped up in the New Year’s Resolutions. Where does this urge
to constantly self-improve come from?
 I think some of it lies in the DNA of every Sri Lankan. For better or
worse, from our younger days at school up to our workplace, we have been
taught and trained to believe that we can always, and should always, be
better. And now it flourishes as an entire department in the bookstore …
titled “Self-Improvement” or “Self-Help”. And it’s in full bloom with
the thousands of blogs being written online, every day.
And so we always feel just a tiny bit inadequate. Especially women!
You might be a super-successful entrepreneur, but do you have a flat
stomach?
You may be very fit, but are you reading the “right” books? You might
be a wonderful parent, but did you map out your retirement plan this
year? Is your home, marriage or family blissfully happy, every minute of
every day?
If not, you fail. Or at least you feel like you do. Now a strong
argument could be made that this is what life is all about … striving to
improve. But it’s exhausting.
As for me, I’m tired. And so for 2013, I’ve decided to take a new
path. Rather than resolutions, I’ve decided that I’m simply going to
pursue a few simple interests. I could just enjoy jogging, which I do.
Rather than have a perfectly organised home, I could take up
scrapbooking again, and enjoy it for what it is. Rather than trying to
have it all, I could just focus on enjoying what I already have, more.
Interests
Are interests the same as resolutions? Not in my dictionary! When you
make a resolution and veer from it, it is broken. However, with
interests, it is different. You have an interest and you work towards
it, you fall off the wagon, no problem, just get back on and keep on
working towards those interests.
Well, my interests are very simple. In fact, there are only two.
First one:
I will take the “fresh start” energy of the New Year and make every
day a day of rebirth and possibility. I will find the people that
recognise and inspire the best in me and spend more time with them. I
will figure out which possessions have real meaning, purpose, and value
in my life, and let the rest go. I will revisit happy memories often. I
will remember that the best in me is separate from the things that bring
it out, so I will capture the experience and incorporate it into my life
so that it is present at all times, even in the absence of the things
that initially brought it out. I will remember to say, “I care for you”
to my loved ones, but most of all mean it. I will give time to love,
give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in my
mind.
 They say, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but
by the moments that take our breath away. How true!
Time management
Second one: I will organise my time better. This will be necessary,
especially with the three “jobs” I do presently, and another exciting
project on the horizon.
At the same time, however, I still want to make a difference in the
lives of those with whom I interact. I just will have to keep the
television off, and get my head out of the computer screen more often –
except to do a little journalism, of course! I’ll also try to rest
better – block everything out and cut up.
I often wish my brain had a user controlled on/off switch. With these
two simple interests, I will develop myself to take care of the small
stuff as and when they hit my face. I won’t grimace and I won’t curse.
I will work on the basics with renewed vigour. I believe that
everything should be done with purpose, and I want to make sure that I
am never professionally set on auto-pilot.
Hearty laugh
Here are some funny quotes on new year resolutions:
New Year is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to
anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls
and humbug resolutions.
- Mark Twain
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Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and
repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces
humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
- Eric Zorn
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A new year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out
the other.
- Anonymous
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Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they
have no account.
- Oscar Wilde
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May all your troubles last as long as your new year’s resolutions!
- Joey Adams
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New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual
good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as
usual.
- Mark Twain
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New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this
does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
- James Agate
And now, see what happened to someone’s new year resolutions
2010: I will go to church every Sunday.
2011: I will go to church as often as possible.
2012: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2013: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.
2007: I will get my weight below 180.
2008: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2010: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2011: I will work out five days a week.
2012: I will work out three days a week.
2013: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
For the readers who still want to go ahead with new year resolutions,
let me offer a little advice. Do you want to make next year, not the
year of failed or forgotten resolutions, but the year you made your
resolutions come true? Then, remember what James Dean, American film
actor, once said,
“Dream as if you’ll live forever, and live as if you’ll die today.”
Take time to pursue your passions without becoming a slave to the daily
grind.
You will then achieve a new lease on life in 2013. How about that?
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