Triple murder in Ratmalana shocks the nation:

Parents should protect children's right to life - Psychologist Kanthi Hettigoda

By Ranil Wijayapala

As a nation which has gone through decades of conflicts and experienced many tragedies Sri Lankans are well aware of how precious the lives of innocent children are to parents. They have experienced sufferings when their children became victims of the tsunami and also in the merciless terror unleashed during the nearly three decade long conflict in the country. But what is happening today is quite contrary to what happened in the past.

We have heard shocking stories where innocent children are harassed and abused at the hands of adults taking care of them in the absence of the parents; and by landlords who hired children as domestic aids. But we are not familiar with instances where parents kill their own children to achieve shameful objectives in their lives and express their anger.

The triple murder reported from Ratmalana where a father shielding himself with the love of a young lady, killed his wife and two children shocked the entire nation as they could never believe such an act being committed by a father to his own two children and wife. Strangulating a three year old son who tries to escape from his father and causing a month old baby to die of suffocation by keeping him against the mother who was already killed was condemned by all segments of society.

The comments of readers in popular websites, have condemned the incident in the strongest possible terms and strong punishments are sought for those responsible for such acts. They are concerned about the brutal nature of the society and how the values of the society deteriorate.

The incident reported from the Piliyandala area last week once again shocked the entire nation, when a one and a half year old child died when she could not bear the brutal assaults inflicted on her by her father in the guise of feeding her. The father himself was found dead by hanging himself after hearing how the child had died due to his cruel act.

The shocking stories ring alarm bells to protect the children who have become victims of abuses and other social problems in the present day society.

Kanthi Hettigoda, a Clinical Psychologist, a lecturer and also the head of the Psychology and Counselling Unit at the Sri Lanka Foundation Institute, commenting on incidents of this nature said that such incidents can be attributed to psychological, personal and social factors.

"We live in a society where crimes and murders have been generalised among the people and such incidents reflect the situation that has reached a climax. These incidents show that changes are taking place in the mentality of the people", she added.

She said the cruelty in the Ratmalana incident is very high as the person involved committed the crime in a well planned manner.

"He had prepared for the murder well in advance and the way he placed the baby against his murdered wife showed the very nature of the cruelty of the incident", she said.

One tends to commit such crimes if he is an anti-social person (a condition characterised by persistent disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood) a psychopath (an individual who is incapable of feeling guilt, remorse or empathy for their actions) or a sociopath (a person with a psychopathic personality whose behaviour is anti-social,often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience).

"Generally, these kinds of incidents happen when people do not have a conscience to think and control their anger and what they are doing", she added.

She said the tragic incident could have been avoided if the person had opened his mind and told someone about the girlfriend he had met and ask for his or her opinion rather than killing the innocent wife and the two children. "One should have the guts to tell somebody if he had committed a grave crime. Only then can we think of guiding him in the correct path through counselling", she said.

The attitude of society about divorce cases also may be a reason for such incidents, as divorce is considered bad in society unlike in the western countries. "In Sri Lanka we have a lesser number of divorce cases compared to other countries, but actual situation is, many are mentally divorced though they are physically living together. So we have to open our minds about divorce cases rather than pushing people towards crimes of this nature", she added.

She said the media in the country also share the responsibility for such incidents as the reporting of graphic details of crimes encourage people to plan and commit such crimes, and the excessive media coverage of crime has made them a common thing in society.

Commenting on the Piliyandala incident where a father, 34, was responsible for the death of his one and a half year old child Hettigoda said it must be due to the expressing of his anger towards the child as he could not express his anger to anybody else. "The innocent child became the victim of his anger", she said.

In this case he may have committed the crime as he was not aware of the way he could fulfil what he wanted in life. He may have abused the young girl who had come to help his family as he may not be able to satisfy his sexual requirement through his wife. But that is not a reason for him to rape a girl. He should be aware of the situation and how to get things done", she said.

The other factor that should be highlighted is the decision of parents to give abused children to the person who abused her.

In this incident the girl who was abused was married to the same person who had abused the mother of the infant who was killed.

"It is a grave situation in Sri Lanka because parents try to get their abused children to marry the person who had abused them without considering the consequences of such acts. If a person had raped or abused a girl it means the person does not love her. By pushing her to marry that person they are putting her life in danger and they may not lead a good married life, she said.

The youth of the country should also think of the situation seriously before making a decision on marriage.

However, she said, whatever the reasons for these incidents the parents should be aware that children are not their property to be killed, manipulated or controlled according to their wish. "Though they are responsible for the birth they do not have the right to kill them, abuse them and get them to do what they wanted. If parents wish to commit suicide they can do as they wish but they have no authority whatsoever to give poison to their children. They should protect the right to life of the children", she said.

Thushara Wickremasinghe, Child Right Development Officer attached to the Ratmalana Divisional Secretariat who worked closely with people who had family problems, said many family problems can be resolved through counselling if they come for counselling sessions without putting the lives of the children at risk.

"There is a high tendency for children to be abused or directed in the wrong paths due to the misconduct of parents. We have come across many cases of children following the trends of their parents and being abused at the hands of members of the same family or by outsiders.

She said the Probation and Childcare Services, Child Protection Authority and the Women and Children's Bureau under the initiative of the Child Development and Women's Affairs Ministry are working towards resolving the family issues to ensure a better environment for children.

She said that there is an increased tendency for family disputes to be referred to the Police and Courts in the Ratmalana area and they are trying to resolve such cases through counselling services. Child Development and Women's Affairs Minister Tissa Karaliyadda too was concerned about the situation where children are becoming victims of family disputes and social problems. "We have to be vigilant about the situation and take the strictest possible action to save the innocent children becoming victims of these unfortunate incidents. As the Child Development and Women's Affairs Ministry we are bound to protect the rights of the children and women enforcing the law against abusers of women and children" the Minister said.

He said the Ministry throughout the past five years was promoting the counselling services countrywide to make people aware of the rights of the children by recruiting more and more graduates to engage in these services to educate the people and settle family disputes without allowing children to become victims of such problems.

"The parents of this country should be more conscious about their children and not regard the children as commodities to be handled according to their wishes. They must be more careful and responsible about the children and also their right to life under any circumstances. As the Ministry we are ready to enlighten them on facing difficult situations in their lives through our counselling program", the Minister said.