Write to discover yourself

“Who are you?” said the caterpillar... Alice replied rather shyly, “I - I hardly know, Sir, just at present - at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Although a writer must learn to observe and look outward to find worlds to write about other than the self, he must start with the self. Writing is one way to clarify that we come to discover ourselves.

Rene Descartes’ (1596 - 1650) maxim Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am) may seem a little strange at first although it can be supported by considerable evidence. The writer establishes his individuality through the medium of writing. This way he proclaims his existence. Although it is inelegant to write about oneself, many eminent writers have done so. E.B. White, by looking at himself objectively, commented on the way the world reduces selfhood to facts and figures.

Most philosophers believe that life on this planet earth is an “accident.” The accident of birth determines whether the language we acquire will be English, French or German. Therefore, the individual creates himself through language. Through a gradual process, he acquires not only language skills, but also a “linguistic personality.” When once he learns to wield the language better than others, he develops his identity as a person different from the rest.

So, the creation of a writer’s personality is mainly due to his language skills. Alfred North Whitehead said, “It is not going too far to say that the souls of men are the gift from language to mankind.” “The souls”, he is referring to, are nothing but the self.

None of us will be able to think if we do not have language skills, however primitive they can be. Thus, a writer’s thoughts and feelings make him what he is. In other words, these are the essence of the individual. His thoughts and feelings are uniquely his. When he writes about his thoughts and feelings and examines his tangled experiences, he is defining and redefining himself.

Complex world

To live in this complex world, a writer, more than anybody else, should know who he is. Such an awareness can be achieved through a process of constant re-examination of the self. This can be done through the medium of the language. As has been emphasised in these columns, a journal helps the writer to re-examine his experiences in a meaningful way.

Some of the journal entries may be significant, but others will be totally insignificant. Once a budding writer recorded his feelings towards a member of the opposite sex in his journal. However, in course of time, he found that such entries were rather insignificant.

To a writer, the language is a multi-coloured yarn spinning different motifs that keep on changing. Any writer will vouchsafe to the fact that such beautiful motifs will not last long. Writing in a journal forces him to capture these beautiful images which have an impact on his personality. When a writer becomes committed, he begins to know himself.

In setting forth on this voyage of discovery, there is no need to begin with highly abstract philosophical questions. Any writer can start with trivial issues in his life such as examination failures and unrequited love. This type of self-examination produces unexpected illumination. A journal helps a writer to re-live imaginatively moments of pain and fun. Every entry in a journal leaves a mark which may be intellectual, emotional or imaginative.

Sense of the self

One who begins to feel a sense of preciousness of this material will experience a sense of the self. If a writer keeps on discovering the sequence and sense of his journal entries, he is making the discovery of the self. This is perhaps the ultimate happiness a writer could think of.

Henry James quite rightly said, “Oh, do something from your point of view; an ounce of example is worth a ton of generalities... do something with life. Any point of view is interesting that is a direct impression of life. You each have an impression coloured by your individual conditions; make that into a picture, a picture framed by your own personal wisdom, your glimpse of the American world. The field is vast for freedom, for study, for observation, for satire, for truth.”

Meditation

Looking at yourself from the inside is a type of meditation. It is another way of trying to understand yourself and your place in the world. Meditation has direct benefits in terms of self-confidence. Through meditation, you can keep out those stupid negative thoughts recorded in your journal. It will also give you a deep insight into your true nature, making you more optimistic.

We really do not know whether lawyers, doctors, accountants and engineers want to discover who they are. As professionals, most of them are bent on going up the social ladder. However, most writers do not belong to this category. They want to discover themselves through writing. So, they are a unique set of human beings who will be remembered even after their death. We read and study William Shakespeare’s plays and Leo Tolstoy’s novels even today. But nobody talks about other professionals who lived in the past.